Colbert will probably be black bagged and taken to a death camp soon enough.

We can (pretty much) never leave our galaxy and there are possibly trillions of galaxies.

Buy a home to live in.

As boring as that is it will help you in the long term.

A belief system that makes claims which are demonstrably untrue is susceptible to being used to oppress people (or elevate them unnecessarily).

Astrology is bunk. Yes I am fun at parties.

Tell that to all the potter head tragics who are definitely members of Hufflepuff and not in gryphindor.

(Nothing pisses them off more than telling them they give off big Hufflepuff energy)

Where’s the gabbagool?!

Great news. Now to hit 2 million.

That’s a nice sentiment but the fact most Americans are apathetic about trump shows they won’t lift a finger to avenge the murder of a politician.

Donny will never get out of this one!!!

I’m too dumb to understand this or it’s more esoteric than I’m thinking.

Can someone help me get the jokes please?

• St Bernard = alcohol because cold ✅
• Dolphin = missing swimmers because they washed off ✅
• Rhino = pizza because you’re so hungry you eat a rhino ✅
• Beetle = pencil because??
• Chicken = floss because it gets stuck in your teeth ✅
• Snake = keys because??
• Cow = cereal because they give milk ✅

Donny can’t possibly wriggle his way out of this one!

This cheapens the prestigiousness of the entire AC award.

You’d be embarrassed if you were also an AC recipient.

Fuck the irony of a child calling themselves the grammar police.

The internet is a lie and I take no one seriously.

Ok boomer.

Fucking cowards. The lot of them.

Those Bed, Bath and Beyond holders are going to be really upset.

‘Wanna see this bullet engraved with deny, defend and depose disappear?’

Anyone else find it weird she keeps bringing up that her husband has an ‘engineer’ mindset?

It seems like she is saying her feminine brain couldn’t possibly comprehend comparing product prices and her big brain engineer husband had to come help her.

Also the lighting. If it’s dark outside how do you light up a person looking into a window in a way they appear as a painting instead of weird shadows.

Agnostic atheist.