Go to horny jail
Not quite. One of the main reasons is that life is kinda shitty, and by having children you are condemning them to shittines.
PD: I’m not an anti-natalist myself
XFCE for performance
Mate or Cinnamon for the windows-like experience
Gnome is probably the most resource intensive. In any case, depending on how long ago you had issues, it may be the case they have been fixed (unless Wayland is your thing, I think)