As someone who also learned a bit later and was mostly self taught, here’s my advice

First, all you really need to have a complete meal is protein, carbs and veggies. So pick a few healthily ones of each, something like: Carb: rice, pasta, quinoa Protein: fish, turkey, chicken Veggie: broccoli, spinach, peppers

(Obviously pick whatever you prefer)

But the idea is, get very comfortable just making those 9 things, and then mix and match/add spices to give variety. But aiming for those types of 3 piece meals will keep things manageable and nutritionally complete.

Then as you said, the next thing is fully cooking but not overcooking. And that, like anything, is just practice. Only piece of advice I’ll give is, whenever you move on to prepping another piece of food while something else is cooking on the stove, set it to low while you’ll do it. Prep will always take a bit longer than expected, and the food will burn.

Then last is, getting it all to come out at the same time. That also a bit of practice since you have to factor in prep, but again, for these 3 piece meals all cooked separately, it’s pretty easy to manage and estimate.

Then once you have these basic in your pocket, you can experiment, be creative, and try different things. But it will give you a solid base nutritionally and build you confidence as a cook.

Most people have encouraged you to be direct, and they are right in that it will very quickly get you a yes no answer. And also that it’s more effective on men.

But it’s equally true that if someone isn’t expecting that at all, a confession can surprise and stress them, as they struggle to put their feelings towards you together and decide on a future right in that moment.

And that can sometimes lead to rejection when it might not have occurred had the way been paved a bit more gradually.

To get specific, that involves doing things with just the two of you. But it also usually involves doing a shared interest, which you’ve said you don’t have.

So if you’re serious, I would suggest you think about what you know of his interests, and seeing if there’s anything you’d potentially like to know more about/get involved in.

Then say something like “hey I’ve started getting into __ a little bit, and I know you’ve been into that for a while, do you know of any __ happening soon I could go to?”

If he has any interest in you at all and is not completely dense, he will usually mention something, and if he does he’ll possibly invite you. Even if it’s like “don’t know of anything now but that sounds fun”, that is also an invitation for you to look up and propose events.

Once you’re at __ together, as the “expert” in the topic he’ll naturally take on more of the “host” role, which will get him talking. If he stops, unfortunately it is usually the woman that has to “go fishing” for topics, since men are not very good at it. Luckily being at __, which you’re not familiar, with means your questions will be real and natural.

And then there is the simple fact that if a man said “I’m cold” and then leaned against a women, he would be thought as creepy, pushy, or presumptuous, but if a woman does it, it’s sweet and endearing even if the man doesn’t like them romantically, because it shows you feel safe with him.

But sometimes, a man doesn’t know how he feels until he’s forced to notice. That will get him to notice. And then he’ll decide, and since men are not very good about hiding their emotions, as they’ve never been forced to, you’ll almost certainly know his decision by how he behaves toward you after that.

And if you think the answers yes, it’s then when you’d be direct. Of course, if you’ve dropped enough hints, maybe you won’t have to.

Ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about dogs

“Democracy is never good” lol.

You forgot the next part of the quote by Churchill “Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all others that have ever been tried.”

The truth if you actually look at history is that the greatest advancements in human civilization have occurred in democracy’s or meritocracies (especially if both).

The Greek, Roman’s, English democracy, French Revolution, and America: all of these civilizations, though massively unequal compared to current societies, represented huge quality of living standard increases when compared to their contemporary rivals.

They were all forms of democracies, where to the extent possible for their time they gave chances for their citizens to be involved, and were rewarded for it by being strong enough to dominate the world around them.

Democracies aren’t just better morally, they are better economically, militarily, diplomatically, and culturally. The fact that some become corrupt or populist doesn’t change that.

So speaking as an American, the Indian diaspora here is typically thought of positively, at least in the sense they tend to be responsible members of the community.

Unfortunately, Americans are pretty geopolitically ignorant, and so end up developing views on countries based on the behavior of their American communities.

So I would say most Americans impression of India is “vaguely positive”. This notably includes at least tacit approval from American conservatives, in that Indians are left off their “which minority group are we targeting today” bingo card.

This is probably mutually reinforcing with America’s geopolitical priorities, which is essentially deepening ties with India as a counterbalance to China.

As to your “too proud of your country” comment, obviously as an American I sympathize, but they’re not wrong in that because of your country’s size and growth, India will become more prominent in global affairs.

Unfortunately as you’ve noticed, that leads to some people having an inflated view of themselves. It’s just something you have to live with as a world power.

Anyway, the below article actually answers your question, and overall, generally positive is the answer (but what did you guys do to South Africa though?)

https://www.pewresearch.org/global/2023/08/29/international-views-of-india-and-modi/

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Honestly this was true for large parts of USAs history, but that hasn’t been the case for a while now.

In truth our democrat and republicans reps have almost no similar voting history, they vote the opposite of each other on almost every issue.

Below is a good visualization of what I mean. You can see that from the 50’s to the 80’s, there was really quite a bit of voting overlap by the parties, so during that period, you’d be right, both parties could be consider the same or similar.

But for the last 30 years or so, democrats and republicans have had very little overlap on what they vote in favor for. It’s party line votes on almost everything.

So how people can say “both parties are the same”, when they vote the opposite on almost everything is beyond me.

And that’s not even taking into account executive actions, like for example for the last 50 years or so every democrat president has provided contraceptives as part of foreign aid, and every republican has not.

We may not have options in terms of political parties to choose from, which I agree is bad, but saying both parties are the same is to be willfully blind.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/04/23/a-stunning-visualization-of-our-divided-congress/

What data do you have to say neither of those options are relevant?

“Mid-priced homes are becoming more popular with investors, making up 32% of investor purchases in the fourth quarter, a record high. Low-priced homes are still most popular with investors, making up 37% of purchases.”

Low cost homes, exactly the ones in rural/historically low income area you described, are the most purchased category of residential real estate.

Also, the downtowns of those areas, which are almost all single story commercial/retail, are exactly the places most in need of walkable, dense development I’m describing, especially if there’s a housing shortage and most of the surrounding areas already have built up residential developments.

So both of those options are actually more relevant for your example then the US as a whole.

https://www.redfin.com/news/investor-home-purchases-q4-2021/

You seem to attribute the housing affordability crisis the last few years to WFH-ers, but isn’t it more fair to say that there are multiple other factors contributing to it?

Not just the post COVID appreciation for housing, but things like historically high percentage of investor owned homes (including corporate and foreign buyers), and historically low building rates compared to projected need, to name a few.

So then the question becomes, which of these should we focus on? For me, that means what gives you the most positives, and least negatives.

Let’s look at three options:

1. Banning corporate and foreign non-occupying homeowners from owning American residential real estate
2. Rezoning low density areas (particularly single story commercial/retail in smaller cities and towns’ downtowns) into vertical dense mixed use residential and commercial/retail development
3. Ending work from home

1 and 2 accomplish our primary goal of reducing home prices across the country, both by increasing supply (1 would too, since those investors would need to sell, increasing supply), and 1 would also reduce demand. 3 does not, because any price reductions in rural areas will be offset by higher rates in urban one

2 also gives us positive secondary benefit of encouraging walkable cities, which leads to health improvements, less traffic, and reduced climate impact. 1 would also increase business investment, encouraging long term growth, if the “money printer” option of buying US residential properties and collecting rent is not available.

3 gives us no positive secondary benefits, and since it does essentially the opposite of 2 in terms of walkability, it also is the only one with a high negative cost.

So pretty clearly that idea is the worst one for solving housing affordability. So why support it when their are other much better options available to accomplish your goal?

So I’ll preface this by saying that I’m not trans, so I can’t speak to that specifically. And if that perspective is what’s important to you, feel free to ignore.

But the main thing to remember is that they are not hating you because you are trans.

They hate you because they are hateful people, and will use whatever justification they can to avoid treating everyone well.

First it was black people, then Latin people, then gay people, etc.

They will always pick a group, big enough for them to be aware of but small enough they feel can be bullied without consequence.

And unfortunately right now, trans people are that group. But looking at the above list should also give you hope, because they tried to dehumanize all of those groups, and they lost every. Single. Time.

So just remember that ultimately if your not hurting anyone, then you are not doing anything wrong, and feel free to tell anyone that tells you otherwise to go fuck themselves. For being trans, or anything else.

Remember MLK’s quote, that the moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice.

Ultimately the best way to meet people, and especially to grow and maintain those connections, is to have the same hobbies as them.

Do you like sports? Join an adult league.
Do you like reading? Join a book club. Do you like tabletop games? Use Reddit’s r/LFG, or look for a local meetup group, and find some people there.

Ultimately it’s hard to make new friends when you have nothing to tie you to them long term.

People have set routines, and it can be difficult to have them make time for a stranger initially.

But if you join group doing something you enjoy, you already a part of their lives through that. You also have an easy source of conversation, talking about whatever your joint interest is.

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It’s the highest voted comment in his original post.

If she initiated these new things, then I think you’re right that she thinks you like them, and doesn’t want to lose you over her not being willing to do them.

First, get things straight in your own head about would you like to have done any of those things with her if you had not seen the video?

Then, once you have an idea about what you like or don’t, tell her something like “hey, while (the things you like) I do like and would like to keep doing, if it’s ok with you, (the things you don’t like) were her idea, and I don’t want you to feel like it’s something we have to do together because it’s not something I particularly enjoy. I much prefer (doing this thing you two did together, that your ex didn’t do).” Even if that thing is just holding hands after or something like that, not necessarily kinky.

The main thing to remember is that you’re her first, so she has no frame of reference to compare you too, whereas you have an ex that she’s worried she’s being compared to.

So just let her know that your happy with how the relationship is, and exactly what you said at the end of your post, that you want to grow together and view this as the relationship of not just your present, but far in the future as well, so she shouldn’t have any concerns.

To echo what some people have said, if you haven’t changed jobs in the last year or two; you absolutely should do so.

As you’ve realized, there’s only so much you can do on the cost side to have things balance. Cost of living has risen relentlessly, but thankfully in many areas wages are finally growing too, and new hires usually get the higher rates.

So not changing jobs frequently, especially in the industries you mentioned, is just leaving money on the table.

Aside from that, definitely look into trades, but also look into local government, healthcare (like being a patient scheduler at a hospital), really any industry you are looking to break into as a career.

They really need the help now, especially for entry level positions, and if you do a good job, you could parlay that into a career in an industry you’re excited about.

So spend like 30 minutes each day looking for jobs, and don’t stop until you’re hired. Remember, even if you end up hating it, you can always quit and get rehired immediately in industries you’re more familiar with, because they also desperately need help too.

I knew someone that did something similar for the same reason, though it was conversations about his future with his mom that he was trying to avoid.

Something that helped with him is to go outside, NOT to interact with people, but just to go on hikes or walk, where you can keep your headphones in and not say a word to someone else, but just to get outside your room, which even though it’s a refuge, can also start to feel like a prison.

Honestly you interact with people much more indoors than outdoors, so viewing a walk as a form of peaceful solitude can be great for getting fresh air and exercise, and you’ll notice you get much less judgement from your roommates if your going outside. You’ll also notice your mental health will probably improve as well.

So the balance you have to get right is between respecting their experience and defending your right to make the final decision.

Asking them, “what are your thoughts on how to handle this situation”, and if the idea sounds good implementing it immediately, will go a long way to showing them you’re not going to insist on your way in every situation, which is the main cause of animosity, especially when the other person is more experienced.

But just by showing you’ll consider their ideas, you should expect some people to push to have you accept every idea they have, which can occur more often when they think they should be in your place anyway.

When that happens, it’s important to clarify that while you want to get everyone’s input, the final decision rests with you, and once you make it, you expect everyone to carry it out. And though constructive feedback on how to improve the process is always welcome, critiquing it simply because it is not their idea is not.

If you say that to them, looking them in the eyes with a calm but determined voice and expression, they’ll understand you’re a boss that wants input but will remain independent, which is the type of boss people respect.

In this sense it’s not much different from managing any team, except you should be more willing to seek out their input because they truly do have more experience.

One more thing that’s extremely important. When you make a decision, especially when it’s one where you chose between competing ideas or you went with your own, always explain the rationale for your decision. If your explanation makes sense and is honest, they’ll understand you were truly choosing what you thought was the best decision, and not just picking the one from your favorite person (including yourself).

Nothing diminishes respect more than showing favoritism, especially if they think you benefited from it to get your position.

O yea I mean you definitely don’t have to do any of the above. It’s totally normal now to go out and be on your phone the whole time and not interact with anyone in public.

I just meant the above guide for those that want to interact with people, but don’t understand how to do so.

So obviously I don’t know you at all, and this might not be applicable or possible for you, but as some one who for a long time just didn’t “get it” and now feels like they do, some tips:

1. When you interact with someone, smile and ask how they are doing.

Even if you don’t continue the conversation beyond “how are you? Good, and you? Good”, you interacted with the world, and had a non-negative result.

Being able to generate positive interactions is the first step to feeling comfortable in the world.

2. Be brief. Listen more than you talk, but when you do talk, say useful or applicable things. Ask relevant questions to learn more and keep the conversation going.

When someone is talking, try to think of a relevant question based on what they are saying. They talk about a trip, “was that your first time there?” Talk about a hobby “what got you interested in that”, talk about their work, “whats it like dealing with ___?”

The more you talk, the greater the chance someone isn’t interested in what you say. The more they talk, the more you learn what interest them, making conversation easier.

3. Small talk with someone is just talking about things you have in common. That’s why the weather is such a cliche but useful one, because it’s the one thing you know both you and that person are experiencing right now. Talk about things you have in common with whoever you are talking to, and it will increase the likelihood you have a positive interaction. And having positive interactions while fulfilling your own goals or needs is basically all there is to “human-ing”

Edit for SuddenDownpours valid point: when meeting someone for the first time where the other persons interests are unknown, I think it’s helpful to not launch into a long monologue on your favorite interest, which the other person might not share, but instead “probe” with brief questions on some general topics which might be of interest to most people and also yourself, and based on their responses either continue that topic or move to a different one.

Then if you discover a shared topic of interest, you should of course share your thoughts freely.

But even then, you should try to be relatively concise in your points. Don’t speak longer than a minute straight (and ideally closer to 30 seconds) without getting the other person involved.

Otherwise the conversation starts to feel like more of a monologue where the other person’s input is not required, which is boring to anyone, no matter the subject.