Most of them don’t really make sense or are just anti-communist “jokes.” The best two I found were “Roses are red and so is the state, let us be comrades because I think you are great” because it’s sweet and not necessarily romantic, and “Hey good looking. Are you the government? Because I would totally like to make you fall for me” because it’s just good. I also found one that I made up independently “are you the means of production? Because I want to seize you.” Which is just funny because it’s absurd. Are there any good communist pickup lines you know or can think of?
Here are some (WARNING: Incredibly terrible and corny):
ZAMN cuh, you can put your vanguard in my revolution!
You can seize my means of reproduction, baby!
You must be a dialectic, cuz you got me feeling contradictions
Can you be my cum-rade?
I say “No gods, no rulers” in the streets; “Yes master” in the sheets
Girl, are you a Trotskyist? Cuz, I have something to pick with you.
Girl, are you an MLM? Cuz, I wanna boil a baby in you.
The capitalists may own the means of production, but you own my heart
You must be a collectivized farm, cuz I wanna eat your ass (or something else…)
Are you a collectivized farm? Cuz I can’t resist to sow seeds of love with you
Damn, you must be good at praxis, cuz you got me rising up…
Are you a crackkker imperialist? Cuz you just colonized my heart
Damn, you make my heart do The Great Leap Forward
Are you Enver Hoxha? Cuz I wanna bunker down in your [explicit]
Is this hexbear? Cuz I wanna do a 5 hour struggle (or snuggle) session with you
Are you public transportation? Cuz I want you to f*cking rail me
I can come up with more later… But yeah. Just reading them aloud makes me want to kill myself for writing this and so on and so on…
The capitalists may own the means of production, but you own my heart
I kinda like this one. The rest, not so much
How cringy. Also imagine thinking that hexbear struggle sessions take only 5 hours.
Use Breaking Bad/BCS quotes instead
Half of these are literally just repeated further down the list.
I just remembered one I made up: “are you the mode of production? Because I want to socialize [with] you”
“Communist” pickup lines…2, 3 and 19 and 74 are anarchist/ultraleft.
24 corrected: “My love is like communism; everyone gets a share, and it’s the only good theory.” …also ultraleft
30 (as well as 48) demonstrates the author is semi-illiterate. Fidel is not fiddle.
I don’t even want to know what 44 means
45 corrected: “What’s 150 yards long and eats potatoes? Just about everyone left in Ukraine lined up to get food at the US embassy.” …yeah, pendulum swung back the other way motherfuckers.
50, 57, 61, and 67 are capitalist, and so is the asshole who came up with 53, 54, 58, 68, 70, 73, 75, 77, 79, 80, 81, 82, and 88.
58 corrected: “What is capitalism? The workers say HELL.” There is no joke, fuck capitalism.
62 is not a compliment, very creepy.
68 corrected: “What did modern Ukrainians use to light their homes with before candles? Nuclear power.”
88 corrected to finish it off: “Ruin me the way capitalism eventually ruins everything.”
-“i want commie…commie-n side you”
-i love che…check dat booty!
-my name is kim-jong, the big-dong!
This was from the Stallionstyle and it involved talking about pickup lines…well on Stalin’s Style the page links to a live video stream of people just doing it. (hitting on each other…what were you thinking? 😁)
“Babe you’re just like the Internationale cause you’d make me rise up any time”
