• NaibofTabr@infosec.pub
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    11 months ago

    …how much is the stock market?

    No, like the entire thing. All of it. And the bond market, I’ll take that too.

    Buy it all as a retail trader, or as much as possible in 24 hours. Pay people to help me get more trades done.

    Wreck some short sellers on the way, inflate the value of a bunch of companies, acquire several publicly traded banks and at least one investment firm, probably a law firm or two. Pay them to explain it to the IRS.

    • 5200@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      “Hello Federal Reserve of New York, how much for your entire inventory?”

    • KevonLooney@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      Not possible because the price will rise as you buy. Your broker will not even accept a deposit of “infinity dollars”. None of this is possible because moving large amounts of money doesn’t happen that quickly, for good reason.

      • NaibofTabr@infosec.pub
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        11 months ago

        Yes, well OP also doesn’t say that there will be no consequences. I feel like everyone’s answers are just ignoring the tax burden that would result from realizing this income.

        • stevehobbes@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          You sell 50% of the stuff you bought to pay it. Or maybe more because the prices probably crashed. But you have a lot of time to do that, actually - you have at least a quarter to pay estimated taxes, plus it’s just fines and/or interest to kick the can even further.

          It’s not that big a deal.

      • cm0002@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Your broker will not even accept a deposit of “infinity dollars”.

        They definitely would want to lmao infinity dollars, infinity interest lol

        • KevonLooney@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          They won’t accept it because a retail investor with a maximum of $10,000 in their account rarely deposits large amounts in their account. Any deposit of millions of dollars would be scrutinized for a few days. They would not accept billions because individuals literally never deposit that much, and it would look like a glitch.

          Best case scenario is the money is on hold for longer than 24 hours and looks like an error when it is reversed. Worst case scenario is your account is closed and you are investigated for fraud and money laundering, or possibly hacking.

    • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Then don’t even keep it. Throw the whole thing into a mutual fund called “The Poor Fund.” That funds sole purpose is to hand the poorest people on the planet either their own personal trusts, or UBI depending on the returns we are getting.

    • EmergMemeHologram@startrek.website
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      11 months ago

      I imagine the SEC would shut you down once your owned to many competing interests, so you would have to limit your companies to avoid breaking securities laws.

      • glimse@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Yeah, and even with my examples you’ll definitely get slowed down a bit spending that much money at once through suspicion. Another option is to buy up video cards or something. Make a bunch of orders online

        • 🐑🇸 🇭 🇪 🇪 🇵 🇱 🇪🐑@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          Honestly yeah. That might be your best bet. Convert your money into quickly acquirable measures of worth.

          While one might think of online purchase like you suggested, another more efficient option is lottery tickets. You can easily bulk buy them without much hassle at what might aswell be an endless amount. Then, you can handle filling em out later which makes them ideal.

          With the average jackpot standing at 30-700 million, you are looking at some easy billions. Usually gambling is not a good way to earn money but we are looking at a zero loss game for us, meaning loss isn’t a loss of money, rather so only a slowing in gains.

          Although I’m sure there are much better methods of quickly converting your wealth into a retrievable form.

    • SatanicNotMessianic
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      11 months ago

      Sure, but buying stocks is one way of buying companies. You’d also need to have those funds transferred into your trading account.

      Actually there may be a technicality there. If you do a funds transfer, it takes time (2-3 days iirc) for the money to actually show up in your trading account. So let’s say you have $1M in your checking account from this qquestion (plus whatever was already there), and you have $1M in your trading account already because you’re investing in the market. So for that brief window of time (which would include the post-24h period) you will have the exact same starting amounts of money net in both accounts. The reset doesn’t need to actually reset anything because that $1M is in limbo. That’s better than hiding in another account or some of the other suggestions, if it works, because you really just don’t technically have that money.

      But in any case, you can absolutely buy houses. Just double the asking price in exchange for a binding contract selling you the house for cash. If someone were to knock on my door tomorrow morning with a cash offer of 4M for my house, I’d have to seriously think about it. If they offered me $40M, I’d have to just do it. With $40M, I can figure out my next steps pretty easily. Make it $400M, and I can’t see anyone turning that down. And the thing is, if you have infinite money, all of those numbers are exactly the same for you. Never having bought or sold a house for all cash, I’m not sure how long the actual closing takes, but I do know when I bought that the longest part was getting the mortgage done. I’m just saying that you could (probably) establish a contract and exchange the money, locking in the deal. Give a million lawyers a million dollars each to do the same thing across the country.

      That kind of thing occurred in a movie or show that I saw. The (I think) bad guy needed this one particular house for his fiendish plot and walked up to the door with $1M (or whatever it was - it was obviously well more than the house was worth) on the condition that the family move out immediately. That’s obviously glossing over some details that my approach addresses - as long as the contract is signed and the money is transferred I don’t need that house today.

      I mean you’d completely crash the economy- possibly the entire global economy - by dumping what would likely be trillions into it within 24h, at which point your houses might not be worth that much. So maybe just a few times.

      Then the government is going to ask you where you got all that money and you’ll have to show them the tweet.

      Then you’ll have to pay taxes on all of that, which you could do by selling off half your houses…

      But if that’s too complicated, you could buy every car on the planet or anything else you could pull off with a cash transaction.

      Or just buy Lichtenstein or something. The problem is that Brewster’s Millions was an interesting question because he had to spend $100M (or whatever it was within a week but be left with nothing. There were restrictions (can’t destroy something - no buying the Mona Lisa and setting it on fire, I think they disallowed donations so no sending it to orphans, that kind of thing). That’s a bit of a challenge. I guess you could rent Salesforce Tower and/or other buildings for a week.

      • drphungky@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        The scene you’re thinking of is from Jessica Jones Season 1, and it’s amazing television. Won’t say more since I can’t spoiler tag.

        • SatanicNotMessianic
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          11 months ago

          Yup, that’s it, thanks.

          It also explains why I thought I remembered it was a demon doing it…

  • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    unlimited money in my bank account for 24 hours? withdraw as much as legally possible in cash then stash it somewhere. Then the next day when my bank account goes back to normal, I still got shit-ton of tangible cash stashed somewhere.

    • kase@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Emphasis on “somewhere.” 50 years later I’d be on my deathbed telling my grandchildren “I’m not joking! I swear I have a fortune hidden somewhere!” (Edit: I forgot to include - I’d hide the money and then not be able to find it lmao)

      Then it’d be like one of those movies where they have to find it, but they find themselves in increasingly bizarre and adventurous situations along the way.

      • edgemaster72@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        “Kids, come closer, I have something to tell you”

        “What is it grandma/pa kase?”

        “Come closer”

        “Yes?”

        “There’s always money in the banana stand”

      • Zugyuk@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        My wealth and treasure? It can be yours if you want it! Search for it! I left everything in that one place.

    • Neil
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      11 months ago

      That’s about 500 bucks for your average bank.

      • Got_Bent@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Nah, you can physically go to your bank and withdraw whatever you want. I once rage closed my accounts at a bank because they kept changing their rules everyday to squeeze various fees out of me. I had over twenty thousand dollars across three accounts and withdrew all of it in cash on the spot.

        Putting that money INTO a new bank account was the more difficult leg of that journey. Fortunately, I kept the withdrawal receipts from the previous bank to prove where the money came from.

        • Aganim@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          Nah, you can physically go to your bank and withdraw whatever you want.

          That would depend on your country/bank. In the Netherlands physical bank offices are getting more rare every year and a lot of them don’t have any facilities for handling physical cash, apart from ATMs. The ones that do often require you to request your withdrawal at least a day in advance for any larger amounts, with ‘larger’ being €10.000,- or so. And of course this will net you a nice registration as all large cash transactions will have to be registered to prevent white-washing. So this route is not going to fly here. I’d recommend just buying the entire bank, that’s probably easier. 😋

        • Neil
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          11 months ago

          You’re right. I was thinking of the ATM. That has limits, but going into the actual bank doesn’t now that I think of it.

          • cor315@lemmy.world
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            11 months ago

            And you can change the limit of atm withdrawal as well. Mine is set to $1000 but I think I can tell them to make it higher.

  • Tja@programming.dev
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    11 months ago

    Almost nobody in this thread is aware of the limitations that 24h pose.

    Forget real estate needs weeks, even cash. Anything bigger than 10k probably needs a few days notice. I have like a 600 euros a day limit on my cards.

    Buying bitcoin could be a good idea, lottery tickets or gold.

    • AA5B@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      I was able to use my credit card to put a nice sized down payment on a car, with a simple call to my bank. I have no idea what the limit to that exception process is. (Collected huge cash back, and paid it immediately with money I had set aside for the car so no interest)

      But what about the clearance process? Different ways the money comes in would take different amounts of time to clear, all more than 24 h, so if we have to worry about that, the bank probably won’t let us spend more than we already had

      • Tja@programming.dev
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        11 months ago

        If it was a credit card it wasn’t even your money (yet), only after you peid the credit card bill. Which I this scenario would be well after the 24h,i assume…

    • hglman
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      11 months ago

      You need to transfer money into something you can liquidate in the future.

    • admin@sh.itjust.works
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      11 months ago

      Also I’m surprised nobody has commented to do a wire transfer into a business account which has less limitations than a simple human mortal account.

      • a9249@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Takes multiple days to setup, chances are most people don’t have one lying around.

  • mommykink@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    I would find a way to funnel several trillion US dollars to some Sahran African country. No goal in mind, just to see what would happen.

  • garbagebagel@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    I would buy as many lottery tickets and scratch and wins as they would let me because gambling without consequences is fun.

    • cor315@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      I like this idea. I hate buying lottos cause I think it’s a waste of money but if you’re not losing anything, who cares!

  • Snapz@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Do you keep everything you acquire? Because then of course all the digital and paper instant wealth options mentioned.

    If you dont personally keep what you acquire, then be good to everyone else so you’re surrounded by goodwill after the fact. All friends, family, neighbors and immediate area strangers get a new house or existing mortgage paid off, a new car, a college tuition for each kid and 25 prepaid family vacations. The city gets new freely accessible community features funded and everyone gets a guaranteed universal basic income for the next 100 years. Also purchase all the medical /college debt and forgive it immediately.

    Only caveat, you do have to sign a legally binding contact that says you understand that trump didn’t win the 2020 election and he’s lying when he says the election was “rigged”, because he’s a sad little removed loser.

  • bfg9k@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    So just my bank balance goes back to normal?

    Then I’d immediately go to the nearest rich suburb, go to every big bank that has an atm and just keep withdrawing cash till it’s empty, chuck it in a bag and move on to the next.

    Probably stop every few hours to buy more crypto and order more stuff for delivery to sell/give away

    Might buy as many tickets as I can on a bunch of those car/real estate raffles you see everywhere now with limited entries and hopefully at least one comes through

    Anything I can buy with a card/online I’d do it. For the rest of the day it’s running between ATM’s pulling out as much cash as possible.

    • admin@sh.itjust.works
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      11 months ago

      Wouldn’t that just increase scarcity of the coin and force the price to go up? Is highly improbably that in 24hrs every person who owns some coin would sell their coins to you, thus increasing the profits for the people who never got a chance to get your purchase offer to begin with.

  • jrwperformance @lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Go to all my local hospitals and pay off all medical debt. Then take out a few million in cash for myself/family.

    • mommykink@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Fuck it, with unlimited money just buy out the board of directors and set up several hundred million in a secure fund (independent of you) to sustain the hospital indefinitely. It would be a lot of work for 24 hours, but, hey, money is the best oil for squeaky wheels.

  • PrMinisterGR
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    11 months ago

    Create another bank account and transfer it all there, so I can have some time to think.

  • Daniel F.@aussie.zone
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    11 months ago

    I would donate just enough to solve important world problems, then not spend another cent. With infinite money, everything is worthless, and that would be rather dull.

    The next day I would wake up, severely regret not being the slightest bit greedy, and fall into severe depression.

    • Socsa@sh.itjust.works
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      11 months ago

      Currency is still fundamentally a value proxy for mediating scarcity though. Just printing infinite currency, or even infinite commodities doesn’t actually negate the link between scarcity or value of some good or service, it just breaks your particular value proxy.

      The only way to make everything worthless is with infinite energy, as then you’d be able to effectively obtain and transmute matter arbitrarily. That would effectively resolve all forms of material scarcity, and most forms of labor/service scarcity. Interestingly you’d still have scarcity with things like art, companionship, time, experience, etc, so there will likely still be some form of market forming around these things, and some form of currency acting as a value proxy within those markets.

    • Dozzi92@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      The next day I would wake up … and fall into severe depression.

      So every day, got it. 🫠. I was looking for that one emoji that is a smiley face, but that face is really just a face on a stick with a sad face behind it.

      This one.

  • Sabre363@sh.itjust.works
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    11 months ago

    I’d want to buy every mega-corporation just to watch the top 1% of the 1% squirm, but I would probably just buy a castle and hide away from humanity for a while.