Why don’t they have Wi-Fi in Church?
!They don’t want to compete with an invisible power that actually does something!<
The power of zing compels you
Except Panera’s not even in the same league when it comes to completely unnecessary deaths… religion/ church has millennia & millions up on Panera.
Edit: Panera also has far less sweaty-palmed, Father Feelgood kiddie-diddling accusations as well.
Panera’s doing their best! It’s hard to compete when the other guy has a head start that spans basically all of recorded history
Let them cook
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You know what? That death lemonade isnt going to rape your kid so it is still better than church.
Ok but I’m still not going to church
I get a tasty lemonade, AND I get to die??? Sign me up!!
I haven’t tried it, but I heard it’s not actually that great. Though that one person who died had three of them, so what do I know
I kinda want to try it and if I live go on and on about how that makes me invincible
As long as each lemonade is tasty/3 or better, OP is still golden
Well, you get to die anyways, so that’s lemonade && 1 = lemonade
How many people have died because of organized religion vs. Panera charged lemonade.
Hard to say since the former is still a running number
Yes
Hi there, just dropping in to say that caffeine is more dangerous than cannabis
flies away
Edit:
Anti-weed Puritans trying to find ways weed is actually harmful
Meth is more dangerous than caffeine
shoots away
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The weed drug trade only exists because of the legal status of weed. Nixon is ultimately responsible for everyone killed because of it.
Cannabis has been associated in fatalities in countries where it’s completely legal.
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Yeah, that’s an intentionally obtuse abstraction of the issue.
You know better.
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Hate to break it to you, but 100% of people who drink water either have or will die.
This might be the most Lemmybrained reductionist take I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot
Expand on your problems with it, then.
Nixon is ultimately responsible for everyone killed because of [Marijuana]
Richard Nixon did not invent Marijuana hysteria. He just used a pre-existing societal issue to sway one side (and punish the other). The Nixon Administration also didn’t force cannabis criminalization onto a pro-legalization country. Dispite what you might think, the majority of Americans polled against Marijuana legalization for most of modern American history -both before, during, and for decades after Nixon left office. You’re pointing fingers at the wrong person and the real ones responsible are laughing at you.
I’m at work right now but if you want a more in-depth response, let me know and I’ll try to write one tonight.
ETA: This doesn’t even begin to address the honestly hilarious Americocentrism and recency bias in that claim. Richard Nixon did not time travel back to 1378 and force Soudoun Sheikouni to make the private import of cannabis punishable by death in Joneima. King Andrianampoinimerina didn’t have a 300-year advance copy of the Control Substance Act when he instituted capital punishment for even possession. A ten-year-old Richard Nixon didn’t show up at the Palazzo Braschi and demand Mussolini outlaw maijuana.
Depends if you factor in all the decisions that people have made using caffeine to keep them awake, that they wouldn’t have made if they had just gone back to bed.
But you won’t be counting them because it fucks your arguement, despite using it for weed.
Yeah pretty much, hard to compare them because they cause problems in different ways. Under 100 deaths per year for caffeine overdose, cannabis is associated with more fatalities but not in a causal way. Caffeine isn’t a workplace safety issue and doesn’t harm judgement, cannabis has very measurable negative effects on cognition. Cannabis is, by no virtue of itself, associated with violence that comes with the black market.
Caffeine isn’t a workplace safety issue and doesn’t harm judgement
Funny enough my old workplace had to start going in and taking the coffee maker around 11am because too many people were overdoing their coffee and ending up jittery and anxiety ridden in the short term (making mistakes) and then exhausted to the point of almost falling asleep near the end of work (more mistakes)
Meanwhile my high ass was on a constant 7 speed the entire day (this was in an office so the worst I could do would have been to pay someone the wrong amount of money, which never happened)
Though tbh neither is realistically that bad for you unless you’re going overboard, which is kinda the case for most things in life
I use cannabis about once a week. There is a guy at work that I won’t work near because he comes into work high and I don’t want to be injured when he screws up, again.
Go ahead and get stoned, in your home, at night, when you can’t do anything stupid that hurts someone.
To be fair, the church had killed more people than literally anything.
Mosquitoes would probably beat them, but they’ve had a hefty head start. The church are aware of this, of course, which is why they double down on the paedophilia to catch up.
STOP PUPAEPHILIA
That too. Stop the unsolicited fisting!
I don’t blame people for not going to church. They don’t even give you wine anymore, just grape juice. Jesus drank wine, why can’t I?
I thought Jesus was wine or something like that? I’ve never participated in Christianity’s cannibalistic rituals though, so I’m sure I’m a bit confused.
the wine only becomes Jesus’ blood in your tummy unless you have an operation or autopsy then it turns back into wine just in the nick of time, apparently.
It’s only cannibalism if you believe you are the same as God.
Arise, God-drinkers.
For mormons it’s just water :(
Mormons had to mix mayonnaise into their ketchup when it first got introduced to Utah, because ketchup was too spicy. Mormons are removed.
Lmao don’t bring fry sauce into this!
Jesus tasted the private jet life and doesn’t visit pastors without one anymore, so they need to save up for one, hence the budget cuts in your wine.
How about neither?
No no, let’s hear the lemonade out
Okay, but if Panera starts playing bad rock songs in praise of their lemonade, I’m leaving.
Its more likely than you think. Waffle house has a music label.
What if it’s a banger? Coke seems to keep doing it so it’s not outside the realm of possibility
GODDAMMIT YOU CANNOT JUST I-V-vi-IV YOUR WAY THROUGH LIFE!!!
1564 your way through life?
One-Five-Minor Six-Four
It’s the chord progression for everyone one of those shitty emo christian praise songs. It’s also the chord progression of Better Than Ezra’s “Good”; most pop songwriter hits; and probably your local bank’s tv commercial mood music
So I either have to die from needlessly over caffeinated soft drinks or deliver my own son to a molestation orgy club? What fucked up kind of choice is that?!
To be fair though, church is many times more deadly and 0% delicious 🤷
Oh they can be delicious alright…
Fuck knows what church has got to do with anything.
I must be out of the loop. What’s church?
Don’t threaten me with a good time Panera
Right? The suicide coaster of beverages.
I’m surprised this is only 3rd from the top. Half joking about wanting death is like 3 generations deep at this point xD
