We all know our boy Oswald was a CIA plant, but what about the assassination itself?

It’s gonna be 15 years until all the records get released so make your bets now on the most likely outcome as well as your favorites.

  • FunkyStuff [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    It’s very simple. Oswald was a CIA plant. He was in his nest, playing with his rifle as Lyndon B Johnson sat behind him eating a bag of chips. Lyndon B Johnson reminds him to check that the safety is off, which he had forgotten to check himself. He’s a little annoyed as Lyndon B Johnson gives him advice about how to take the shot, causing him to space out.

    Meanwhile, in the caravan, JFK greets several attendees. The first lady asks the driver to play ‘that song she likes.’ JFK immediately responds by telling the driver not to play that horrible song. The driver plays it anyway. At this point he’s also annoyed, and starts to space out.

    With both of them looking out above them, they join in song.

    After a short duet a shot rings out, Oswald shouts “Somebody else got him!” and Lyndon B Johnson instructs him to abandon the scene.

    • DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml
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      1 year ago

      Your story is typical of all conspiracy mongering, full of holes. If you know so much, what brand of chips was LBJ eating then, huh?

  • Tachanka [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    It’s gonna be 15 years until all the records get released

    the records will be released in the truth/reconciliation committee after the BRICS allies partitions the capital of the 4th reich (Washington DC) at the end of WW3

  • DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml
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    1 year ago

    I think I can predict what the released report will say:

    The CIA ████████████ ████, ███ ██████ ██████ is totally innocent. ██ ████ █████ the USSR ███ ███████ ████ did this.

  • LordBullingdon@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    The interesting question to me, assuming it was an assassination, is why did they do it that way?
    It was a very public, convoluted, dangerous way to kill someone. I don’t think this makes it any less likely to have been a conspiracy, more that it raises the question of whether there was a purpose to the spectacle itself.
    Like they could’ve just poisoned his tea or something.

    • FunkyStuff [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      I’ve always thought it was a deliberate message to all future American politicians that they should watch out, they’re on CIA orders, not the other way around. Having him poisoned or crash Prigo style just doesn’t send the same message.

      • LordBullingdon@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        Isn’t it that the term ‘conspiracy theory’ was invented by the CIA in the aftermath of the assassination?. Perhaps there was some kind of domestic intention too, I mean that it wasn’t just a signal to politicians but a way to generate a certain feeling in society. Of course elements of US intelligence were deeply into exploring social engineering type stuff around that time.

        • FunkyStuff [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          1 year ago

          Well I don’t think they wanted to abandon plausible deniability. But yeah, there’s a lot of dimensions to it and there’s probably no easy answer for why it went down the way it did.

    • CommCat [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      I read a new scenario. Oswald was definitely a CIA plant, but the reason for the assassination was to blame Castro and Cuba, thus justifying a military invasion after the failed Bay of Pigs. This explains Oswald being in the “Fair play for Cuba” committee and actually filmed getting in a physical altercation with a gusano. Remember back then nobody is walking around with their phones and filming everything, how was this altercation caught on camera? This got him on radio to debate the gusano and praise Castro/Cuba. Two months before the assassination, Oswald, or an impersonator, travelled to Mexico City and visited the Cuban and Russian embassies, looking to enter Cuba.

      The explanation why there was no military invasion of Cuba, was that Johnson was afraid of risking WWIII, and he wanted to focus on Vietnam.

      • pooh [she/her, love/loves]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        This explains Oswald being in the “Fair play for Cuba” committee and actually filmed getting in a physical altercation with a gusano.

        I think I’ve heard this as well. It makes sense that it was the original plan, but maybe they abandoned it afterwards because they thought it might lead to too many questions. Also Johnson as you said.