No, we hate stopping because it takes you all twenty minutes to pee and then another twenty to get food and snacks. And now your mother’s decided she wants a sit down meal and there’s a cute shop she wants to visit before we get on the road.
And now it’s five in the morning and we’ve been on the road for sixteen hours and we’re still 150 miles from home and you want me to check into a hotel to get some rest when we could have been back in our own beds by 10pm if we didn’t have to stop because your bladders are all the size of thimbles.
And I’m paying for all of this.
I saw a comedian who said “The only vacation a father gets is after everyone’s in the car and he closes the trunk. That short walk to the driver’s seat is so fucking relaxing.”
When I’m driving, there are 4 reasons to stop:
- The tank is empty.
- The bladder is full.
- I’m so tired we’re all to crash and die.
- The car is on fire and/or falling apart
Unless one of these applies, we’re driving. And if a stop is required, there are zero acceptable reasons to extend that stop that are not on this list.
Edit: “we’re there” is also a good reason to stop
On a recent road trip I discovered a new reason to stop. I saw a sign that said “drive a tank $99”
That doesn’t sound very enjoyable and seems a bit evil. The tank will hardly go a couple of meters before the bottom of the glass cracks and all the fish will fall out on the hot asphalt before suffocating to death.
What about hunger…
drive thru and eat while driving
Ordering ahead and picking up inside is much faster than a drive thru
Imma need a two-fer there, or it’s the side of I-whatever the fuck we’re on for 5 to 35 minutes.
I swear girls have insanely small bladders. I’ve never stopped on a road trip with guys, but with girls, you ALWAYS have to stop.
Hell, if you’ve got enough empty bottles dudes never have to stop. Piss jugs are the way of the road.
You’d still stop for some friends of the road though, eh?
Popping a squat is a lost art… My grandmother says.
I’m a dad, I become friends with some cars, we get along well, then all of a sudden, the take an exit and leave me empty.
And then later you catch yourself wondering how Blue-Sienna-with-the-bumper-sticker is doing.
I felt that
Yep. I’m a dad and this is 1000% accurate.
Not a dad yet but apparently qualified to be
Same. I’m feeling like dad 101 and traffic 101 had a crossover event.
Am dad. I feel this in my soul.
It’s much deeper. You find that group of other dad’s, in the same mind, no words are spoken but everyone is one the same page of A to B without nonsense. A team of dad’s in a pack, look for them on trips and they’ll lead you.
Oh no! My travel buddy just exited form the highway!
goodbye my temporary friend. we’ll always have the time in that patch of i75 together.
I paired up with a rural postal delivery guy driving late at night once and we stayed together until the interstate. Hope he’s still doing okay.
And next time learn to use your cruise control!
Sometimes in stop-and-go traffic I (in my little roadster) will match speeds with a semi so that cars aren’t constantly cutting in front of them and forcing them to brake suddenly. I usually get a friendly wave from them or a flash of the 4-ways. I like to imagine the driver getting on the CB and telling all the other truckers to look out for the “little friend”.
Ma’am you’re causing an obstruction and they just want you to flash them back. As in, flash them back.
Then you see them at a gas station 100 miles later. “You see that Trooper get that guy?” , "yeah he was moving "
My parents are the reverse, we used to stop like every hour.
I’m in my 30’s and made a trip from Chicago to Denver with my brother. We drove the 16 hours straight through I think we stopped maybe 3-4 times for gas/pee/stretch/snacks maybe 30 minutes total NOT driving. It was so efficient and I appreciated it so much.
I drove my kids 14 hours each way to see the eclipse. On the first stop I said “Okay, we go in, go to the bathroom, grab chips, candy, and a soda, and we’re back in the car in five minutes.”
They were absolute troopers. We stopped maybe three times and each time they did exactly as asked.
Then we decided to drive to Disney with my wife and mother-in-law. The first time we stopped for a break it was at a Cracker Barrel, and they wanted to have a sit-down meal and do some shopping less than three hours into a 12 hour drive.
My kids looked at me in confusion. My oldest said “Dad, doesn’t mom know how to take a road trip?!”
Why would you drive that far when it would be more economical to fly?
Driving from one state to another is reasonable; a 16 hour road trip is not. Unless of course you don’t care about the money and just want to sight-see. In which case, enjoy your road trip.
Flying is cheaper when you’re solo, sure. For a family of 4? Flying is expensive. But the really expensive part is having to rent a car where you’re going.
For me, a ~12 hr drive to Florida for 1 week of vacation is about $400 in gas. That’s a lot more than plane tickets, until you add a $600+ car rental when you get there. Plus the flight dates have to line up with the resorts dates, which they usually don’t for cheap flights.
I hate it but driving is often the more economical option.
I learned that day that it’s not a very scenic drive, but I made that trip a few times - one with a car full of camping and backpacking gear, and the other I drove a 26’ moving truck for my brother.
Welcome to frontier. Here’s a $75 per carryon item fee for each of your kids. Congrats. It’s no longer cheaper.
And, the flight is cancelled… Here’s the website for the refund request we’ll see in 4-8 weeks.
Anecdote that happened to my dad:
My dad drove to Kansas with my mom and little sister; ~11 hour drive. Mom and little sis decided they would fly back instead, and my dad doesn’t mind (he likes driving, and probably enjoyed the solitude).
Dad drops them off at the airport in Kansas, and starts driving back home. He made it home before them, and ended up picking them up from our local airport as well.
I guess my point (besides just a funny little story) is that sometimes flying vs driving is dependent on a lot of factors. At least in the US, from what I’ve experienced. It really all just depends on the situation and what you’re trying to do. I have traveled a bunch within the US, both flying and driving (furthest drive being around 24 hrs straight, with a driving partner), and which one I choose is almost completely dependent on why I’m going and what I’m doing when I get there
Just my 2 cents though
16 hours of driving, let’s say averaging 70mph, is 1120 miles. Even at a moderately shitty mpg for a modern car of 30mpg, that’s 37.3gal. Around most of the Midwest I can count on gas averaging $3.50 or less a gallon, so that’s $130 each way. That’s cheaper than anything other than extreme budget airlines, if you don’t need any luggage whatsoever. If you have more than a carry on, then you’re already saving money.
I’m basing this off Midwestern multi state drives, since that’s what I’ve done the most. I can get a cheaper flight on Frontier or Spirit, but again, that falls apart as soon as I add any luggage, and I prefer to travel with luggage when it’s a reasonable option.
Those idiots going 59 in a 60 area!
Sigh… /s
Til I’m a dad
But if the dads never passed those vehicles, then the vehicles even further back would get ahead of them. The work of passing the vehicles in front has still paid off
Clearly the dads don’t care about how soon they get to their destinations, they just hate seeing others get ahead of them
The car did all the work. I just put the brick on the pedal and close my eyes. Jebus take the wheel!
As a non dad (thank God, no brats to tend to), I never stop. I can drive for days. Pee in the empty coke bottle. No wife, no kids, just me and the open road. Got my cooler with my sammiches. Not stopping ever.
So true! MY dad used to pack us kids into the backseat, then drive us across country to see all the Southern states, or all the Eastern states, or all the midwest states. It was like, 600 miles a day in the back seat reading comics and eating cookies. I loved it. I’ve seen all the U.S. states, except Alaska and Hawaii. When I drive on a road trip myself, I take my time and I don’t care if everyone else passes me - I’m not in any race, I just want to enjoy the scenery and relax and eat cookies and drink the views.
As long as you’re not enjoying the scenery from the left lane, I have no issues with you.
When I take a long trip I’m always happy to let other people pass me and pull over when I can so they can get by. I don’t know why people are in such a frantic, manic hurry to get where they’re going - they miss the opportunity to enjoy the drive.
I like to pass quickly because I don’t enjoy driving. I have to focus on the road so I don’t get into an accident. I’ll be happy once we get to out destination.
