No, we hate stopping because it takes you all twenty minutes to pee and then another twenty to get food and snacks. And now your mother’s decided she wants a sit down meal and there’s a cute shop she wants to visit before we get on the road.
And now it’s five in the morning and we’ve been on the road for sixteen hours and we’re still 150 miles from home and you want me to check into a hotel to get some rest when we could have been back in our own beds by 10pm if we didn’t have to stop because your bladders are all the size of thimbles.
And I’m paying for all of this.
I saw a comedian who said “The only vacation a father gets is after everyone’s in the car and he closes the trunk. That short walk to the driver’s seat is so fucking relaxing.”
Unless one of these applies, we’re driving. And if a stop is required, there are zero acceptable reasons to extend that stop that are not on this list.
That doesn’t sound very enjoyable and seems a bit evil. The tank will hardly go a couple of meters before the bottom of the glass cracks and all the fish will fall out on the hot asphalt before suffocating to death.
No, we hate stopping because it takes you all twenty minutes to pee and then another twenty to get food and snacks. And now your mother’s decided she wants a sit down meal and there’s a cute shop she wants to visit before we get on the road.
And now it’s five in the morning and we’ve been on the road for sixteen hours and we’re still 150 miles from home and you want me to check into a hotel to get some rest when we could have been back in our own beds by 10pm if we didn’t have to stop because your bladders are all the size of thimbles.
And I’m paying for all of this.
I saw a comedian who said “The only vacation a father gets is after everyone’s in the car and he closes the trunk. That short walk to the driver’s seat is so fucking relaxing.”
When I’m driving, there are 4 reasons to stop:
Unless one of these applies, we’re driving. And if a stop is required, there are zero acceptable reasons to extend that stop that are not on this list.
Edit: “we’re there” is also a good reason to stop
On a recent road trip I discovered a new reason to stop. I saw a sign that said “drive a tank $99”
That doesn’t sound very enjoyable and seems a bit evil. The tank will hardly go a couple of meters before the bottom of the glass cracks and all the fish will fall out on the hot asphalt before suffocating to death.
What about hunger…
drive thru and eat while driving
Ordering ahead and picking up inside is much faster than a drive thru
Imma need a two-fer there, or it’s the side of I-whatever the fuck we’re on for 5 to 35 minutes.
I swear girls have insanely small bladders. I’ve never stopped on a road trip with guys, but with girls, you ALWAYS have to stop.
Hell, if you’ve got enough empty bottles dudes never have to stop. Piss jugs are the way of the road.
You’d still stop for some friends of the road though, eh?
Popping a squat is a lost art… My grandmother says.