It’s excellent satire
“I love posting satirical stories to LinkedIn (almost as a hobby now) because no one expects jokes on a ‘professional’ social network,” he said.
Today.com - Man posts about cooking chicken in a hotel’s coffee pot — and the internet exploded
Now I’m curious. Would this actually work? Just how hot does that heating plate get?
I mean, you can cook a chicken by slapping it…
I don’t believe it, and I am afraid someone will try it and get salmonella.
Here’s the problem: a coffee pot gets hotter when there’s water going through it.
The same heating element that warms the bottom of the carafe also heats a small section of tubing meant to boil water. This, along with a simple check valve, forms a bubble pump, which is how the hot water gets up to the coffee grounds.
There’s a thermal switch that allows full power when that coil of water is below a certain temperature, and when it gets hotter than that, it switches to a lower power mode, because with no water to boil, all it needs to do is keep the carafe warm. I don’t have the numbers in front of me but I doubt it would get hot enough to properly cook chicken.
Chicken soup it is
Actually I think that would work.
It does, there are multiple people on youtube that have effectively cooked soup in their coffee machines and used other appliances for food like the dishwasher for example.
It reminded me of this vid my buddy posted in discord the other day. 🤢
https://twitter.com/betcheswildin/status/1711055716054683931?s=46
It boils stuff so at least 212*F. You’d need a lot of time to cook it.
You could boil it I guess. Boiled chicken isn’t TOO bad.
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Oh I thought it was like a kettle he was using.
I could see a fancy outdoorsy type of coffee maker being able to boil water. Collect your water from the river, boil it, and make some coffee.
Looks like it hits at least ~170oF, so you could slow cook tiny meals in it.
If charging dinner to the company is going to tank your P&L, you’ve got much bigger things to worry about. And no, they ain’t going to promote you because you saved them $30.
They’re not going to promote you specifically because you thought cooking chicken in a coffee maker was a good idea.
Although, I guess you could kinda sorta do sous vide in one of you had the chicken in a sealed bag.
Generally I find the people who go all out (not overboard) on expenses get promoted before people who don’t. Shows a level of confidence that most management likes.
Another thing to consider: Are the ones that you’ve noticed get promoted tend to LOVE to say “yes” to management?
I read this in the voice of Dennis Reynolds.
Just hope you don’t destroy the coffee machine and pay back the hotel for repairs, that’s gonna cost you more than dinner.
Heavy emphasis on sorta
oh it will! Will be promoted to dead employee
Guys, this is satire. And old, the guy posted it for comedy some time ago. Not seeing anyone calling this out, so just FYI. No need to get angry over this.
When the grind makes you risk food poisoning…
Fuck this noise. I will use whatever I’m allowed to my advantage. Work trips are like mini vacations I don’t have to pay for.
I expense my cocaine and hookers.
I work for the state so I haven’t figured this part out yet. I’m open to suggestions 😀
What state?
Some are more open to it then others.
Do we really have to make a new label because of him?
Meanwhile I eat $30 meals when I’m traveling for work.
I don’t get to travel for work but schedule my biweekly telehealth therapy appointments for midday.
Boss makes a dollar; I make a dime. I talk to my shrink on company time.
Where do you find $30 meals? Mine are all $60+
I gotta submit my expensing for review, so I gotta keep it somewhat realistic or they’ll deny.
Enjoy your salmonella.
That’s chicken, not salmon.
/s
The chicken of the river, and sea
I saw a YouTube video of a guy cooking a steak by wrapping it in aluminum foil and putting the hotel iron on top. But an iron gets a lot hotter than that warming plate, plus beef is less bad to eat undercooked.
This would probably work fine, it might be a bit slow, but a coffee pot gets plenty hot to cook chicken. My main concern would be the lack of fluid increases the chances that pot breaks.
The hot plate 100% has a safety switch that turns it off at a couple degrees above boiling. So it won’t break but it also won’t sufficiently cook the chicken with pieces this large…
That’s what freaked me out the most - how thick the cut is.
This isn’t beef. You can’t cook chicken medium rare and expect things to be okay.
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Sous vide then?
More like poached or simmered.
through in a bit of cream cheese and you could have something not bad
“Chunky” chicken soup in a can just costs a couple dollars, you could try heating that in a coffee pot. Add some fresh cherry tomatoes and canned fruit and you have a good meal.
I’ve made grilled cheese like this before. Works decently.
In my experience, in the white collar world, corporates really don’t think twice about paying for this stuff.* In fact, they’d really prefer that you just use the company card instead of blasting stupid bullshit like this on social or making yourself sick. This person’s boss probably thinks they’re fucking insane.
*If you’re blue collar, you can usually get fucked. If they do much as buy you a Costco hotdog and soda, they’re going to complain and hold it over your head. Little Caeser’s hot-n-ready pizza is the definition of spoiling your workforce in that world.
When the company gets billed for replacing the coffee maker every time you stay at a hotel they will do something other than promote.
Super double promote?
Exactly.
A friend who is an airline pilot once told me one of the stewardesses made hamburgers on the hotel room iron, to safe money. They actually get an allowance to eat at the location, still she did that. So stingy.
And then I wonder why the hotel room iron is all kinds of fucked up.
Hamberder gunk
Steamed Hams.
They get paid a set amount every day for food, regardless of what they get. If you are getting a flat rate $50 per diem for food, it makes financial sense to eat cheap and pocket thr difference.
There’s eating cheap and then there’s making hamburgers using an iron in a hotel room cheap
exactly
An allowance sounds more like something added to their paycheck, rather than something they expensed. If that was the case, and they got to take home the allowance… well, heck. Ten bucks is ten bucks.
How to say you have crippling social anxiety without saying you have crippling social anxiety
Then they should order delivery or something. Food poisoning is not the answer.
Yeah, dealing with the delivery guy might be unpleasant, but paramedics and the hospital staff will be MUCH worse.
Food poisoning would be the crippling part.
I’d fire him for being mentally unbalanced, with this post as my hard proof.
