I’m sorry for the depressing topic, it’s just been an extremely lonely and disappointing day. I’ve tried to keep busy to avoid the feeling, but it’s getting to me and I just feel awful.

I’ve been ostracized from my very small family due to their dysfunction and my sexuality, and I live in a very rural area roughly 40km from my nearest friend who is busy with their own family. Coupled with the fact that I have no community, organization, or group to associate with, it all just seems very depressing and meaningless. I couldn’t even afford a Christmas tree this year, so I collected some nice pine branches to make a small bundle that I decorated, but even that now seems pathetic and miserable. I just wish I had people to spend the holiday with, even a single person would be nice.

I’ll probably just game for a bit and then head to bed early, holidays are always awful.

  • SovereignState@lemmygrad.ml
    13·
    2 years ago

    I’m with you in spirit comrade. I’m broke, and so is my spirit, so don’t expect anything but my company. :')

    I’m just doing what I always do. Getting high and slacking off on my days off. Roommates are around, but they’ve been upstairs alone for a while. I’m just vibin’ as if it were any other day, exceptin that it’s cold as fuck and I can’t go outside without fear of falling into a foot of snow. I feel you.

    I also have no desire to see my family, on any holiday. Something always comes up. My dad whining about the “China virus”, saying only pu$$ies wear masks. My mom regurgitating some homophobic or transphobic or racist shit she heard from my dad. Me miserable as fuck trapped in the middle of nowhere. Like I said, I feel you.

    • ComradeSalad@lemmygrad.mlOP
      8·
      2 years ago

      I feel like company is the most important thing in all honesty, I feel like friends get the most creative when there’s not a lot of money on the table, and that’s what leads to a good time and good memories. I feel like the best times I’ve had required someone having a car that could move, and 10 dollars gas money. From there it’s easy to find something to do.

      Though vibin today does seem like a nice choice, especially on a cold winters day. Maybe a drug would help, but I don’t have any experience so I guess I’ve just have to stick with keeping myself busy. But I feel you too man, especially with the family part. A big part of me wishes things were different and I have to stop that train of thought from making be bitter. But thanks for your words man, it means a lot.