I’m sorry for the depressing topic, it’s just been an extremely lonely and disappointing day. I’ve tried to keep busy to avoid the feeling, but it’s getting to me and I just feel awful.
I’ve been ostracized from my very small family due to their dysfunction and my sexuality, and I live in a very rural area roughly 40km from my nearest friend who is busy with their own family. Coupled with the fact that I have no community, organization, or group to associate with, it all just seems very depressing and meaningless. I couldn’t even afford a Christmas tree this year, so I collected some nice pine branches to make a small bundle that I decorated, but even that now seems pathetic and miserable. I just wish I had people to spend the holiday with, even a single person would be nice.
I’ll probably just game for a bit and then head to bed early, holidays are always awful.
I feel like company is the most important thing in all honesty, I feel like friends get the most creative when there’s not a lot of money on the table, and that’s what leads to a good time and good memories. I feel like the best times I’ve had required someone having a car that could move, and 10 dollars gas money. From there it’s easy to find something to do.
Though vibin today does seem like a nice choice, especially on a cold winters day. Maybe a drug would help, but I don’t have any experience so I guess I’ve just have to stick with keeping myself busy. But I feel you too man, especially with the family part. A big part of me wishes things were different and I have to stop that train of thought from making be bitter. But thanks for your words man, it means a lot.