Not right now, as I’m broker than broke. The bureaucratic nightmare of reapplying for federal aid, necessary loans, to schools, the possibility that I’m still not mentally capable enough, not willful enough to overcome my disabilities in order to thrive in a learning environment… Higher education in the U.S. is also just such a racket. International schools still charge absurd prices for foreigners, especially from the U.S., because they know they can. There are so many universities to choose from, some programs deemed more prestigious than others, some degrees that mean everything and some that mean utterly nothing. It’s a chaotic, confusing mess and I’m mortified of the prospect of dealing with it again.
On the other hand, I need a goal. A purpose. Passion. Something to move me forward rather than just being stuck in a dead end job I can barely tolerate just to continue living paycheck to paycheck. When I first tried college, I studied anthropology and I loved it. I just couldn’t keep up with the course work, or the physical labor of getting to class every day (20 minute walk to and from class, had class ~3 times a day, all hours apart). I became an alcoholic and barely made it out alive… by flunking out. I also absolutely despise gen-ed courses like algebra, science, etc. when they don’t specifically pertain to my field of study and it makes it very difficult to stay motivated to not fail out of them.
Idk. I have ideas brewing in my head about what I could do with a degree, specifically an Anthropology-Korean dual major, or anthro major Korean minor. I could write a counter-ethnography dispelling the hegemonic western, liberal orientalism regarding the DPRK from shit like “The Cleanest Race”, with specific interest in DPRKorea’s nuclear program and the way the people view it, especially when it comes to their nuclear power outside of the purview of western mouthpieces, like the nuclear power electrifying their nation. But I’m also a white Amerikan. Do we need more white Amerikans writing ethnographies? Could I accidentally wind up contributing to the orientalist hegemon I despise so much? At a personal level, could I even survive if I pursued this path, or would I simply die a destitute, ridiculed anthropologist?
Just something I’ve been thinking about. I’d like to know comrades’ thoughts.
I think alot of people feel like this nowadays, without religion where do the wanderers and great seekers of truth go for enlightenment and wisdom? CNN? alot of people turn to conspiracy theories, as if the aliens and MIB are covering up some great truth. College presents itself as a place for knowledge yet as you say you just wind up taking remedial math courses while hungover, the multibillion dollar system of higher education has one simple goal, pointless mind-numbing careerism. Ironically the reason American anthropologists have to take remedial math is to avoid such a conundrum, and give the student a broader more diverse education. I suppose we could blame the wealthy as keeping the serfs illiterate has always been a longtime goal of theirs. However I think that makes as much sense as banning us from reading the bible. sure you as an illiterate peasant are banned from learning latin, but there is no great truth in the bible, so you shouldn’t want to learn latin to begin with.
“We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.” - Charlie Chaplin