I won’t, but I do. He’s the biggest piece of shit I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet. He has a shitload of apartments, all of poor standard, which he rents out as expensively as possible. When I first moved in I was pretty desperate after years of moving around a lot. I was just tired and wanted a decent place. So, I didn’t examine the apartment as well as I should have, but in my defense, who the hell excepts a cum-wall?

That’s right. One of the walls were entirely covered in cum.

So, I told the landlord. Not really expecting him to do anything about it, but that’s what you do, isn’t it? The response I got was “Too bad, it was your responsibility to notice before you moved in.”

Uh, okay, rude, but you’re not wrong. Fair enough. I let that slide. We can laugh at the cum-wall.

Then I started to hear from my neighbors that he talks shit about me. Seriously. At one point he complained that I was using the houses internet to download all kinds of stuff and I was ruining it for everyone else.

I’ve never used the internet that came with the house! I was never even informed that it existed! Also wtf are you doing talking shit about your renters?

There’s more but the point is just that he’s been very unpleasant, unhelpful, intrusive and rude for the whole two years that I’ve lived here. I am always painfully polite. Always.

So finally we were gonna move out. My bestfriend is very pregnant, she moved back to her childhood home with her fiance. It’s this really beautiful place with a large house, a farm, horses and mountains that hug the whole valley. It’s my favorite place in the world and I’M GOING TO LIVE THERE. I’M GOING TO LIVE RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO MY BESTFRIEND AND I GET TO BE THE FUN AUNT!!! I’m very, very excited. Anyway, we informed him that we were moving and he was like “ok but I want to come look at the apartment” and I was like of course you do you shady motherfucker, I bet you’re looking for any excuse possible to take the deposit. Actually I was like “Sure, how’s Monday?” and then we cleaned the place until it was fucking flawless.

So he shows up. It goes suspiciously well. He tells us we may be able to move as soon as September, but definitely October. Awesome! We might already have moved by the time bff has the baby!

We tell him about the mold in the basement. It’s on our boxes. It’s bad. He says “yes it is pretty moist in here” and points at our floorboards. Says it’s probably because of the dog. I am malfunctioning. Explain again that we’re talking about the basement. He says something about showing us a different place to store things and fucks off.

Days pass. Our new landlord (my bff’s dad) would like to know exactly when we can move in so he knows what to tell the lady currently renting. I send our landlord an e-mail asking for confirmation.

I got a response. In it he says that I am responsible for the apartment until DECEMBER. As for the mold? “Reminding you that it is your responsibility to keep the space you’re renting clean”

YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT MOLD IS? HOW ABOUT A VERBAL FUCKING AGREEMENT, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS!?

So… how can I make my landlords life a living hell without landing in jail, with debt or making all my neighbors hate me? Does anyone know any reliable curses?

  • GloriousDoubleK@lemmygrad.ml
    13·
    2 years ago

    This probably gonna be a whole big shit sandwich for you.

    So lemme just say this.

    Your new place. I dont give a damn if they’re God and your best friend. Document EVERYTHING. And have them sign it.

    Photograph EVERYTHING and make sure that they’re dated and you can even date the digital data of your photos.

    Your new home might be of friends. But you’re a tennant who needs to protect themselves. You need to be a ruthless, meticulous removed. It aint about picking fights. It’s about protecting you and protecting them. Money makes people get funny.

    Landlords aint your friends. Even if they are.

    Dont allow this to happen again.

    Best of luck to you. Show no mercy.

    • Oatsteak@lemmygrad.mlOP
      7·
      2 years ago

      Yes. I think I’ve learned my lesson. Always expect a cum wall.

      I’ll be sure to document everything even if it feels silly in the moment.

  • FossilPoet@lemmygrad.ml
    10·
    2 years ago

    I unfortunately jump to legal advice mode whenever I see landlord-tenant disputes, but don’t want you to out yourself on anything. However, I do want to extend a hand. If you want any advice from a legal perspective that may help you assert your rights (including as cheaply as possible), DM me. I am not a lawyer, but I have a lot of experience with this and do not care to volunteer my time researching and finding resources and arguments for you in your state and situation.

    Other than that, I hope everything works out! Some generic advice may be to document everything in writing and go ahead and remind him of the agreement. I also find it extremely hard to believe any state with a basic standard of health in their code would find a cum wall at move-in or mold in the basement to be acceptable, so you may want to start calling the local health department, DHHR, HUD, etc. You may be able to break your lease sooner due to the mold. It is going to be very hard for him to prove in court that you caused the mold and, contrary to popular landlord belief, leases do not and cannot invalidate law/code. A local tenant’s union, even if you are not a part of one, may also be able to provide resources and defense for you, and it’s never a terrible idea to speak to a lawyer for a consult (some will offer to write threatening letters for cheap and since your landlord is a shit they may have prior experience with him). Legal aid is available to low income folks too.

  • frippa
    4·
    2 years ago

    Throw acetone or paint stripper on their car