If the dick don’t spit you must acquit.
In a statement to WLBT News, Blackmon wrote, “All across the country, especially here in Mississippi, the vast majority of bills relating to contraception and/or abortion focus on the woman’s role when men are fifty percent of the equation.
This bill highlights that fact and brings the man’s role into the conversation. People can get up in arms and call it absurd but I can’t say that bothers me.”
Given this context, I think it’s pretty obvious this was put forward to make a point rather than to be a serious piece of legislation.
I have reading comprehension issues ¯\ˍ(ツ)ˍ/¯ lo sorrio. I saw the news on AP, followed it to the source, and posted it here because I thought it was funny.
I see, so it was intended
discharge genetic material
That’s considerably broader than sperm. I’m not sure you could expel any body fluid without it containing some of your genetic material.
Hey ya can’t have no pandemics if nobody’s allowed to sneeze ah?
Y’all should have masked when you had to
Technically there’s DNA in your shit because you expel trace amounts of mucous and lining from your intestines at the same time,
And archaeologists have used that to find ancient DNA in soil samples to show what fauna and flora lived in an area at a given time period.
Sloppy kisses? banned
this is funny as fuck
Well, funny as not fuck, unless you intend to procreate.
At first I thought it might be some really weird MRA-feminist-lib thing
Then it’s like “oh it’s a sodomy law”
But then contraception is specifically excluded:
- This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material:
(a) Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo; and
(b) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.
So this law bans
- AMAB jack off cum
- AMAB-on-AMAB sex where cum
- AMAB-on-AFAB sex where the AFAB is post menopausal, if AMAB cum
- AMAB-on-AFAB sex where the AFAB is non-reproductive for any reason, if AMAB cum
- including the rhythm method
- period sex
but not
- gooning
- edging
- AFAB-on-AFAB sex with any number of cums
- tantra
- cum denial
- period sex with a condom
- rhythm method while on birth control pill
What is this guys’s kink? He’s like one of those guys who like videos of women stomping cakes shaped like building right?
Technically all those banned forms of cumming are still perfectly legal if you just jar it up afterwards and plonk it on your nearest sperm bank’s front desk at the first available opportunity!
starting a little DIY artisanal sperm bank in the corner
sperm bank in the corner
♫ That’s cream in the corner ♫
♫ That’s cream in the spot-light ♫
♫ Cooming’s my religion ♫
so cumjar?
Precisely.
Don’t use afab and amab as nouns challenge [IMPOSSIBLE] Please just use slurs instead, it’s less insulting
what would be better?
Like actually? just dont use AMAB and AFAB as nouns like that, its basically the same thing as saying “biological males” and “biological females” and just as impresice. ln your comment there you could have literally just said
So this law bans
- jack off when cum
- Gay sex when cum
- sex where the one person is post menopausal or some shit, if the other person cum
- lesbian sex where someone is non-reproductive for any reason, if someone else cum. including the rhythm method
- period sex
and conveyed the exact same message without using that stupid ass dehumanizing lanaguge Hope that helps ----
so you think everyone produces semen when they cum?
maybe you didn’t understand this law is specifically about semen
so you think everyone produces semen when they cum?
Yes.
most sane reply
Wait until Ben Shapiro switches teams. He’ll find a way.
A popular scientific theory in the middle ages was that women had their own internal sperm (from internal testicles) and required orgasm to conceive.
Both are wrong but the first seems logical with the knowkedge of the time and the latter good intentioned.
then say CUM ROPES then or something holy fuck. not using AMAB and AFAB as nouns challange realy do be impossible ig
Some people like to speak in a somewhat professional way to indicate they are serious. AMAB/AFAB accomplishing this purpose, CUM ROPES, does not .
wow I’ve been so educated about being too “imprecise” i wish i was enlightened about “precision” like you are.
Take the L.
you’re being defensive for literally no reason here. just don’t describe people as AMABs and AFABs
The issue is you implying that “amabs” produce semen
would that it be the issue.
and even more complicated by, as was pointed out, the issue of vasectomy. it is semen but it is not “genetic material”.
like i said before this what not intended to describe in detail every specific situation that could arise, but to describe SOME OF THE KINDS of things that are contemplated by the law. the law is formulated in a cis-centric manner on purpose.
Was my list comprehensive? NO.
Didn’t realize yall needed this: I am not a lawyer. Moreever I am not a Person Who Is A Sitting Judge On The US Supreme Court. (Would not want to “dehumanize” by referring to a “supreme court judge”— I’m learning.) Super apologize for the confusion.
IT IS A STUPID LAW there is no way to talk about it that isn’t stupid.
Blowjobs are out, too
My own style uses AMAB and AFAB strictly in the same manner as the full phrases spelled out. Thus it’s a person AMAB (“a person assigned male at birth”) and not *an AMAB (“an assigned male at birth” — what exactly is an “assigned male”?) nor *an AMAB person (“an assigned male at birth person” — that’s an odd bit of syntax, isn’t it?)
—Of course, acronyms do often undergo zero derivation, this is to be expected and generally is perfectly fine, but I think the risk of allowing this to happen with AMAB and AFAB specifically is that these terms will lose their original purpose and come to just be used as misguided euphemisms for male and female, and the world just doesn’t really need more synonyms of male and female, right?
Obviously, though, you couldn’t just replace “AMAB-on-AMAB sex when cum” with “person-AMAB-on-person-AMAB sex when cum” and expect this to be any better, because that phrase would be really clunky and would still indicate a sort of “binary mindset” about it.
Thus my own general rule for these sorts of situations is to think pona, i.e. what are the exact biological or physiological features in question? The most pona description of the law’s scope ends up just being the law itself, so then if we want to list examples of what the law would ban, we could say something like…
It bans ejaculation of semen either as a result of masturbation, fellatio, anal or non-penetrative sex without intent to donate or sell sperm, or as a result of penetrative sex between someone who produces sperm and someone who cannot conceivably become pregnant through natural insemination at the time the intercourse took place, except when this inability is the result of contraception. Under this law it would for instance be illegal to ejaculate inside someone postmenopausal or someone having a menstrual period, or likewise to ejaculate inside someone born without a uterus or ovaries, et cetera.
…Which is more clinical, but also far more precise and thoroughly divorced from a binary conception of AMAB-versus-AFAB as rigid categories.
too be honest my comments are really long a lot of the time and I just try to keep them briefer to save everyone’s eyeballs from falling out. My mistake. Here you go.
the bullet points were intentionally terse, missing multiple words that would have been required to form complete sentences. “AMAB jack off cum” = constructed so the reader fills in missing parts. I’m practically hemmingway over here ok lol.
Unconvinced about how amab and afab as nouns can be dehumanizing; since virtually all humans are either Assigned Female At Birth or Assigned Male At Birth. Is it possible to dehumanize 100% of humans in one go? what would that even mean?
It bans ejaculation of semen either as a result of masturbation, fellatio, anal or non-penetrative sex without intent to donate or sell sperm, or as a result of penetrative sex between someone who produces sperm and someone who cannot conceivably become pregnant through natural insemination at the time the intercourse took place, except when this inability is the result of contraception.
But that sentence is so hard to read, I just read it like 9 times and I am not sure if it conveys what my bullet list did. I think it is mostly pretty accurate on some of it but I am not sure. I get lost reading it. I’d have to print it out and use 2 or maybe 3 colors of highlighters to understand and my printer is in the other room. OTOH the way I wrote it, it was easily understandable.
It would be impossible to make a comprehensive list of all the the sex acts this law does or does not ban. Or to make a table of the combinations of people who are or are not allowed to have what kind of cums. Because it is inherently contradictory and stupid, which was The Point. Obviously, the monsters who wrote it had People Assigned Male At Birth and People Assigned Female At Birth in mind when they wrote it. They’re not interested in anyone’s identities or feelings or relationships. To go out on a limb, they are likely specifically interested in how people are Assigned. For example, trans men can have prosthetics or implants that ejaculate. Are these monsters interested in that? No not at all.
Under this law it would for instance be illegal to ejaculate inside someone postmenopausal or someone having a menstrual period, or likewise to ejaculate inside someone born without a uterus or ovaries, et cetera.
I don’t think where the cum occurs (inside or elsewhere) is at any issue? (ha). Potentially replacing amab with “semen ejaculator” or less funny “Person who ejaculates semen” if I am not allowed any fun would work (excepting the trans men…). But I don’t know if there is any real good word or phrase to describe what the monsters describe as “women”. It would need at least a dozen words and be totally unwieldy.
And actually I didn’t think of it at first but someone else pointed out that cum post-vasectomy is banned under this law in all situations. So that makes both of our descriptions wrong and I don’t even know how to address it.
All the argumentation aside I appreciate your time in thoughtfully elaborating on the very poorly-articulated original critique.
Come to think of it, “Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.” — what does it even mean to fertilize an embryo? You fertilize an egg to conceive an embryo, but you don’t fertilize the embryo, right? Wouldn’t that be like a matryoshka pregnancy?
…I guess that means any sex with contraceptives is then banned because contraceptives specifically intended to prevent matryoshka pregnancy do not exist. And how about wet dreams, for that matter?
I have more things to say about what you’ve written but I don’t really feel like it right now. Maybe when I have more energy again.
Come to think of it,
The more I think of this, the more and more and then less, and then more again, things come to mind. It is stupefying. A mindgame trap?
matryoshka pregnancy
So we are talking “they’re born pregnant” ala
Overall I agree this is an exhausting convo. Especially because I doubt either side is 100% correct, and we arguing about how to apply our imperfect analysis to describe a totally bonkers situation which kicks and screams against any framework, even a shitty one.
Because really the whole thing is some republicans cos playing as klingons who’ve traveled back in time to outlaw tribbles. That’s the hope you’ve given me anyway.
Cracker is always acceptable, except for when it isn’t.
Actually it’s not. Nouns are dehumanizing apparently FYI
They are dehumanising when they are frequently used to dehumanise trans people. Your ignorance, use and defence of your use of those terms is seriously distressing to read. Just stop.
seriously
Sorry what slurs would you like me to use? Crones and cucks? Cat ladies and neckbeards? Fops and bimbos?
… But I had a vasectomy?
Well you can never cum in mississippi or it’s $1000 min fine
I read they have a three
strokestrike rule.
Ooh, sorry, that’s 1 trillion life sentences for killing billions of potential children
If you have a wet dream he gets to paddle you.
damn they gonna criminalize bustin nuts
I sincerely hope the 4chan crowd who now backs puritanical republicans is happy with said republicans doing puritanical shit to them in turn. I think basement dwelling chronic masturbators are going to be like “wtf this sucks! you were supposed to punish women not me!!”
Nah, they’ll just act like this was what they always wanted. They’ll never admit to being wrong.
Democrats in red states write these kinds of bills every once in a while.
Is this the volcel police?
The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.
نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.
No fuckin’ way
But this isn’t Big Brother shit. No. Big Brother shit is when black people don’t want to be called the n-word.
