After my last machine decided to stop functioning properly, somebody recommended that I build my own PC because it is cheaper than buying a prefab, and apparently the process is pretty easy, even easier than building a LEGO set! This is the biggest mistake that I made all season. He convinced me that I could handle it and I failed to handle it.

First of all, I don’t understand why anyone thinks that offering a how-to guide like this one on assembling a computer is a good idea. That is about as reasonable as giving someone a guide on how to fix an engine, as if a Yugo’s engine is identical to a sports car’s (yeah, right). Unless the reader or listener happens to have all of the exact same parts as the author, the guide is next to useless. There is no point.

Computers vary massively in layout and accessories. I hate to state the obvious, but you can’t just toss any fucking how-to guide at a beginner and expect them to understand and follow it perfectly. These guides, much like the official manuals, are dense and loaded with jargon, showing us crap that we don’t have and crap that isn’t where we expect to find it.

Here’s a good example: somebody told me that I needed a large screw to secure a stick. At first I thought that I had to order another part since I lacked that, but it turned out that the screw that I had was just obnoxiously tiny. Almost microscopic. Even my long-distance assistant said that it ‘looked wrong’ when he saw it, but it did the trick.

Likewise, it is ridiculously easy to plug something the wrong way, which can potentially fry your machine. My computer also came with a load of crap that I apparently didn’t need, which is fine for compatibility but ends up making the process more confusing and intimidating.

This hardware is both delicate and expensive to replace, too, which means that if you fuck up, it’s a big deal (unless you’re rich). It was only after I finally took my machine to a technician that I learned that I broke two parts beyond repair, meaning that now I have to spend about $300 on repair and extra parts for a plan that originally cost me $600. I could have purchased a good prefab with all that fucking money!

Look, just don’t tell anybody that assembling a computer is easy, and especially don’t tell beginners to try it without constant, immediate-distance supervision. (Long-distance supervision is still too risky.) The process is so delicate and there are so many ways to make serious mistakes that it isn’t worth it, and anybody who finds a guide or manual unhelpful is going to be very tempted to improvise, which is dangerous. I actually made my fingers bleed trying to assemble a computer (no joke), and I wasted hundreds of dollars that I could have spent on a cheap, prefabricated gaming computer instead. I feel very frustrated tonight, and I am stuck on my smartphone for another week or two.