Was listening to radio the other day. Radio folks talk about the most random stuff to fill the airtime. This time they were discussing a memory from their childhood. Specifically, when, as a child, they returned to home from their school, who was the first person that would look for they asked. Someone called in and said they wanted to see their mother the most and now that they have children, the children do the same thing.
I was thinking about myself and I have no idea what I did in this situation as a child. I know both my parents worked, so maybe they weren’t there when I returned. I had some nannies take care of me but I don’t recall much about them other than their names or faces. Or maybe my parents were done with work by then. Maybe I didn’t look for anyone and wanted to do something else, but I have no concrete recollection of that either.
I wonder if this is normal.
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I’m kind of similar.
If I spend a really long time thinking about the past I can start to remember stuff, but it’s a serious effort. I could have been born when I was 16 and I wouldn’t realize it most of the time.
Specifically, when, as a child, they returned to home from their school, who was the first person that would look for they asked.
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Great post, I feel the same way all of the time. People twice my age will reminisce about their primary school teachers and other stuff from being that age, and I’m not even quite 30 yet but I basically don’t remember a single thing from that time of my life other than the most vague non-concrete type of stuff.
I forget almost all of my friends from back then, all the people I knew and things I did. Even stuff when I was a teenager that was only 10-15 years ago I really do not remember well. My parents especially I don’t recall having much of a relationship with as a child but I don’t think it was that bad or anything, I just literally don’t remember. My entire relationship with them is based on my experience with them as adults in my mind, they could easily just be some of my other older friends or something I met through work in the last decade.
I often feel bad about not remembering stuff mostly in a jealous sort of way. A specific example is with football/soccer. I know for a fact that I religiously watched every match my team played in say 2010 for example, but my recollection of it is mostly vibes based sprinkled with a handful of acute memories. I’m envious of people much older than me who can recall such a laundry list of specifics about menial stuff like that. This is true in basic every field of my life but sports seems like the most obvious example.
There are whole more recent years I basically don’t have a single concrete memory of but I’m going to attribute that more to my lifestyle at the time. I’ve always felt like I have no memories though so I’m glad to hear others have had the same concern. Honestly, I’ve always gotten the sense throughout my whole life, even when I was a child and didn’t have tools to analyze or self reflect, that I’m not really participating in the world or “life” and that I’m just watching it happen around me. Perhaps that has something to do with my lack of memories.
I used to religiously follow football as a child too. Played a ton of FIFA and watched all the games. I don’t recall the details either but that is probably a defense mechanism against the trauma caused by witnessing the clown era of post-Benitez Liverpool.
My memories started coming back once I finished grad school, got diagnosed with ADHD, and had some time away from being employed. So stress, anxiety, depression, being too busy, not sleeping, etc., definitely affects memory formation and retrieval.
I’ve heard trauma, depression, stuff like that, can impact this. Though some of it may be how a person’s brain is wired too. I remember very little from my childhood, but there’s at least one person I know who can recall really specific stuff from decades ago in their life, in step by step detail. Which I don’t think I could ever do; my memory always seems to have been more impressionistic.
I’m the same way, essentially very few memories of my childhood that are not based on stories other people have told
Smoking weed seems to enhance my ability to remember things where normally I draw a blank. Free Association combined with smoking a bowl and I’m recalling shreds of memories that gradually add up to something even if it isn’t much.
My memory is pretty shit; the memory of one of my oldest friends is a freaking superpower as far I’m concerned.
As for radio: I remember an old radio host (I can’t remember his name because my memory is shit) who’s memory seemed to be photographic. Maybe it really was or maybe he greatly embellished his stories because it made for good radio.
I’m the same way, and have a friend with a good memory. Every time we meet up he talks about all the DnD games we played and different things we had done in the past and I only really remember, like, half of it.
I’ve kept journals in the past, but I rarely stick to it. It’s interesting to return to those after a while.
the memory of one of my oldest friends is a freaking superpower as far I’m concerned
Are you talking about your friend’s ability to recall? Or a memory about them?
My friend’s recall ability.
Are you sure that they are not just making shit up? Some folk’s creativity can get ahead of themselves.
I’m sure some people do, but this particular person isn’t.
One of like a handful of distinct memories I have is watching a whole marathon of this one show as I was laying on my parents bed only because I didn’t know how to change the channel at the time
How old were you?
like 4 maybe?
It could be from childhood trauma (repressed memories). I believe that’s explanatory of many issues I have had in my life. It’s not recommended exploring that outside of a therapist’s care.
I don’t have serious childhood trauma. At least I think so.
You may not have. There could be several reasons for the phenomenon you described, trauma being but one possibility.
Yeah, I have the same issue. I can list things I’ve seen and places I’ve been, and if someone from my childhood showed up, I could probably recognize them, but I don’t remember any specifics. Honestly, I think most of the details I do recall come from friends retelling the stories.
It’s kind of funny to me now because I’ve reached the point where I couldn’t tell you what happened yesterday unless it was something super impactful. That’s just how it feels, most of my life hasn’t been all that memorable. I do the same thing day after day, and the only memories I really have are from moments that broke the monotony.
Yeah I am the same way. Life is something that just happens to happen to me. Must be related.
Same here. I have a few really intense memories of childhood burnt into my mind (mostly horrible things) and then just nothing else. No memories at all for years interspersed with the odd traumatic thing here and there. I thought that was normal though? It seems crazy to me that some people remember loads of details from their childhoods.
I have a few really intense memories of childhood burnt into my mind
Unfortuantely this is the case with me too. I don’t remember any good or even neutral memories. Sometimes folks who knew me as a child bring up innocuous memories and I can’t remember them happening. But some of the bad ones I confidently remember happening. It’s kinda sad honestly.
