Oh boy.
First of all, form good “sleep hygiene” habits, read: https://health.arizona.edu/sites/default/files/data/Sleep Hygiene.pdf
A lot of it is obvious, like go to bed at the same time every night (set a timer to get yourself reliable at first!), and wake up at the same time every morning. Give yourself more “sleep opportunity” than the hours you want to sleep so you actually get enough sleep (e.g. if you want to sleep 8 hours, maybe give yourself 10 hours in bed with the lights out).
Don’t use screens several hours before bed, don’t do anything but sleep in your bed, and wind-down before bed with something like reading a book (again, in a chair in another room, not in your bed).
Now for more advanced tips I’ve learned from dealing with insomnia:
A problem I have sometimes had is that tasks like meditation can actually cause me to become more alert, and it turns out meditation actually does cause insomnia.
When struggling with meditation related insomnia, I got lots of practice navigating falling asleep.
What I found most helpful was rather than focusing on an object in a meditation like way, to instead allow mind-wandering and rumination and to try to cultivate a lack of metacognitive awareness about that rumination. Basically, the opposite of meditation. Meditators will hopefully know what I mean by this - but basically, don’t pay too much attention to what you are thinking, just get absorbed into the mind-wandering.
Sometimes if the mind-wandering leads to thoughts or feelings that are “strong” or engaging enough it can prevent me from sleeping, like when I’m anxious or my mind is preparing or rehearsing for an important event or the next day. In that case, a little bit of meta-awareness can be helpful to alert you to the need to redirect your rumination to something actively boring or benign.
In the most extreme instances, I visualize myself working in a factory performing a repetitive motion like pulling a level to operate a press. I essentially constantly try to pay attention to that mundane task and ensure that it remains mundane / uninteresting - just keep pulling the lever and keep paying attention to that task. This is akin to the counting sheep method, but I always found counting sheep too interesting or engaging of a task.
After hours of boredom I usually lose consciousness.
Sometimes I threaten myself with getting out of bed, and often in response I feel a resistance and that makes me realize how tired I actually am, and I threaten myself with doing something boring like sitting in a chair and staring at a wall. Sometimes that is enough to kick me out of my energized thinking into a milder / more boring and repetitive mind-wandering that leads to dreams and unconsciousness.
Sometimes I actually do have to get out of bed and do something, often I will stretch and if I’m not feeling overwhelmed with sleep that way, I find it helpful to exhaust myself with forearm planks - just hold until you can’t anymore (you can also use a timer for 30 seconds or 60 seconds, whatever pushes you past comfort but all the way to failure), maybe try this a couple times. You will sweat and it’s miserable the whole time, and you will be tired and want to crawl back into bed. That has helped me fall asleep really well before, and sometimes I think it’s because the blood also gets into my muscles and somehow this helps me relax.
Anyway, hope this helps!
Do nothing but sleep in the bed?
Oh, 'cmon!
My wife won’t be happy about that.
She really likes to cuddle and play with the cat in thereawww 🥹
THC and an orgasm.
CBD and abstinence to stay awake.
I had absolutely debilitating insomnia for my entire life. In the last couple of years I discovered something interesting. I’ve got a condition called aphantasia which means that I cannot see any images in my mind. For my whole life I heard the phrase counting sheep and thought it was a metaphor. Just like. Thinking about sheep since visualizing wasn’t something that I thought people could do.
Anyway, in researching about the condition I found an article online for an exercise where you can work on trying to visualize something. Basically you close your eyes and use the flashing remnants of vision to try to force a shape to exist. Sometimes you need to push on your closed eyes and a little pressure will cause some patterns to appear. You’re supposed to do this exercise while talking to someone outloud. Even if it’s just making a recording. The article I read said you must say it out loud or you will fall asleep. Me having never fallen asleep in my life without hours of concerted effort completely ignored this warning and much to my surprise it absolutely made me fall asleep within minutes.
Ever since then I’ve been able to use this technique to fall asleep every night. It’s like my mind finally learned how to do it. Most of the time I don’t even need to do these exercises any more.
That being said I was so pleased with this side effect I never even tried the say it out loud to try to improve mental images and I still can’t see anything in my minds eye. But being able to sleep every night without fail is a freaking miracle. So I highly recommend giving it a shot.
Here is the original instructions I found on it. https://photographyinsider.info/image-streaming-for-photographers/
3rd Eye Blind crew represent
That is a long article that eventually links you to watch a video to learn how to do it. Here’s the link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3F2qjtwcMhA&t=161s&pp=2AGhAZACAQ%3D%3D
For my whole life I heard the phrase counting sheep and thought it was a metaphor.
It … isn’t?
Waauw
Welcome to a whole new world where you can’t do some fundamental form of thinking most people can.
Theres also people apparently that don’t have an inner monologue and can’t hear words in their mind either. I truly can’t understand how that works. It’s way more foreign of a concept than not being able to visualize. But maybe that’s just because I’ve never been able to do it so I don’t know what I’m missing.
The people that can’t do either are truly frightening. What’s going on up there?
I’ve been practicing the rubbing thing today. The only things I think I’ve seen so far are faces, glimpses of and silouettes of.
It works better if I keep my palms slightly pressed over both eyes. As soon as there’s a lightsource I just see that, light through my eyelids.
This is amazing and slightly scary.
How long since you’ve discovered this?
It’s been about a year or so. You shouldn’t have to constantly apply pressure. When I first started I just kind of took whatever was there and tried to pretend it was a specific thing then hold that thought then as it morphed and changed just quickly identified a new thing and held that thing as long as possible. I think the article calls it image streaming. Then when all the sparks fade from pressure maybe do it again.
Dude. I had to revisit your comment. This is amazing.
Thank you 1000 times!!!
Awesome I’m glad it’s doing something for you, getting better at visualizing at all?
Does this also work if you don’t have aphantasia?
I couldn’t sleep for decades until I started listening to audiobooks. It’s a bedtime story. Shut your mind off, let go of stress and just listen. It can still take a little while but now I fall asleep in minutes instead of 3 hours. It also helps me go back to sleep if I wake up from nightmares.
Same. Podcasts are also great, and some are even made specially for this purpose, like Nothing Much Happens.
For me, podcasts specifically about going to sleep to them trigger my contrariness too much to be actually relaxing. It’s gotta be on a normal topic that is just the right balance of interesting, but not exiting/engaging.
History typically scratches that itch for me. Dan Carlin’s hardcore history and the history of the English being the two goats that coke immediately to mind. Camp Monsters is also a great one; the rare fiction podcast that I can actually stand, much less relaxes me enough to sleep.
William S Burroughs rambling endlessly
I know a lot of people for which this works great. Personally though, it has the opposite effect. I cannot shut my mind of by listing to audiobooks. Either I ignore them and it’s just noise, or I listen to them and stay awake until the audiobook stops.
- Sleep and wake at the same time every day.
- Wake early.
- Avoid caffeine after mid day.
- Cool temperature bedroom as you go to sleep.
- Avoid stimulation immediately prior to sleep e.g. screens, intense exercise, arguments.
- Make the bedroom a place of rest exclusively, no screens, noise, etc.
- If sleep is elusive don’t stay in bed, go do something and come back later to try again.
- Worrying about sleep only makes sleep more difficult.
- Don’t use alcohol or drugs to help sleep except very briefly to get over a hump. Of the benzodiazepine class, zopiclone is effective for short periods to re-establish a sleep pattern.
On the worrying point. If you find yourself worrying that you can’t fall asleep, remind yourself that just laying there is giving yourself a chance to slowdown and relax. Giving yourself permission to relax is the first step to letting go of the worry.
Right. It’s perfectly normal to have difficulty sleeping. We often don’t know why and that’s okay too. In time it will pass, as all things do.
Reading, absolutely. And exercise.
For me it was a long process but eventually I got to the point where I fall asleep at the same time and I wake up at the same time. In other words I have a highly predictable sleep schedule. The downside is that I’m not able to sleep past my “wake time”.
- Quit smoking and drinking. Nicotine elevates blood pressure and alcohol makes you pass out, not sleep.
- Don’t eat anything heavy for few hours before bedtime.
- No screens at least one hour before sleeping. This might be controversial because there are different studies regarding the issue but cutting the screen time has another positive effect (see next point).
- Reduce or eliminate stimulus - reading polarizing articles, constant notifications, etc.
- This one is a personal one - play soft music at a almost hearable level. For reference, I’m a metalhead but I like soft piano/jazz/blues playing when I fall asleep. Set a time to stop the music so it won’t wake you up.
- Instead of a standard alarm clock use a sunrise alarm clock. Long story short, it’s a lamp that simulates sunrise by gradually increasing the brightness and the colour of the light.
- Use a sleep tracker, for example Apple Watch or any other “smart” watch which tacks your sleep patterns.
- This one is a personal one. Just before you fall asleep, e.g. when reading a book and your hand goes down, go to the bathroom before falling asleep, even if it makes you wake up/active for additional 10-15 minutes.
Same time every night. Consistency is key.
No caffeine after 2
Take magnesium glycinate and threonate and hour or so before bed (threonate helps me sleep but it can cause vivid dreams)
Make sure you’re comfortable in the bed both in terms of bed firmness/softness and temperature
Use a fan to regulate temperature and create white noise
Create a regular bedtime ritual (brush, floss, skincare, etc) and stick to it
Chamomile tea can help relax
I’ve also found drinking some cool/cold water right before attempting to sleep can help, because your body temperature drops as you go to sleep. I’m also a hot sleeper, so that also helps to cool down my core.
Make a regular sleep schedule and stick to it as much as possible
Write down any persistent thoughts, journal emotions, or create a to-do list from whatever might be running through your mind. Getting that out of my head and onto paper helps to alleviate any anxiety and can help stop my brain from planning and running amok while I’m lying there.
I turn off all the lights and only use some color-changing LED lights an hour or so before bed. White lights are too bright and can keep me from sleeping. Red is darker, yet still bright enough to see where I’m walking. Red lights are also best for night vision, if you go stargazing, make sure you have red flashlights, because white light will destroy your night vision for 20 minutes or so.
I also use a screen dimming app on my phone to bring the brightness down lower than the brightness setting will allow. On Apple devices, this is a regular setting in accessibility called “Reduce White Point”. Android still hasn’t figured out how to mimic that well and the best app I’ve found is Screen Dimmer Plus. It basically puts a Grey layer over whatever images show up on your phone and will mess with screenshots taken and it doesn’t change anything with the top 1/4" of the screen. The Reduce White Point setting on ios doesn’t mess with screenshots and changes the brightness for the whole screen. It’s one of the big disappointments I’ve had with android.
Get Blackout curtains to block light from the windows
Don’t exercise too close to bed. I also can’t take showers or baths too close to bed because they will disrupt my sleep.
Slow breathing and closing your eyes will lying in bed can help if you’re restless. I’ve also found that if I’m having a particularly hard time falling asleep that getting out of bed and reading a book or fiction story before returning to bed can help.
Choose something light and calming to watch as the last thing before you turn off your TV. Nature documentaries like Planet Earth or a light comedy can help you unwind and be a little more calm than watching an action, horror, or drama movie/TV show.
Another thing I’ve read about if you’re restless is to work your way uo your body squeezing your muscles for a few seconds. So start with your feet and flex them a couple times for a couple seconds, then go uo to your calves, all the way up to your eyes. The flex and release is supposed to help release any muscles that are still clenching from the day.
Spending time in nature during the day is supposed to help calm the mind and body, so finding 20-30 minutes to walk around a park could be helpful.
Don’t stress out about not falling asleep. Lying there with your eyes closed with relaxing breaths is supposed to be restful for the body
Potassium might help you relax and I think it’s also supposed to help with blood pressure if you’ve been consuming too much sodium. Not 100% sure on that, but I figure getting blood pressure under control can help you get better quality sleep.
This person sleeps
I got three, they all seem to work on me, but sometimes I prefer one over the other for no clear reason.
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Counting my breath duration. Breath in at normal speed, count how long it is, then breath out slower than that by two or three counts.
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Force my thoughts to become disorganised. I do something like free association between concepts and pictures of the inner eye. Common starting point for me is a free flight over a hilly landscape, then random things, woods, trees, rocks, water whatever, I don’t try to control anything about the theme. If I start thinking coherently or about something concrete from my life, I just start again, with another nature scene.
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Imagine a calm scene. The suggested starting point I was told was floating on an air matteress in an alpine lake (helps that we know those around here, but I’m sure non-alpine lakes work too) and imagine the things you can see uphill as you drift around your axis.
We are super similar, lake, mattress, inner eye, box breathing.
Sometimes can get too vivid, but least I’m disconnecting from the day.
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I manually slow my breathing just a little bit evertime but not too much that my body will notice, and see how slow I can go
Breath in for 7s
Breath out for 7s
Repeat until you’ve stablized your breathing / pulse
Breath in for 8s
Breath out for 8s
Repeat until you’ve stablized your breathing / pulse
Breath in for 9s
Breath out for 9s
Repeat until you’ve stablized your breathing / pulse
…
lying on my back, relaxing all my muscles, calmly, slowly “repeating” sleep in ny mind until i fall asleep
oh, and I resisted using eye masks for years, but blocking out as much light as possible helps so much.
blackout curtains are amazing and worth every penny.
Don’t think of anything real
My favorite trick is to think of myself in a movie and play it out. I commonly put myself in Harry Potter. I walk up to the hogwarts castle door…then I just have fun making stuff up and playing it out like a movie in my head. Next thing I know, I’m asleep.
If I get too far, I just pick a different movie and start over
The worst thing you can do while falling asleep is thinking about the real world. The present, past, or future. Nope, don’t think about it.
Clear your mind and jump start a dream
Massive physical exhaustion with time to “calm down” before sleep.
Don’t “try” to fall asleep (it is involuntary), just make the safe & comfortable feelings so your mind knows it is okay to fall asleep.