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Go create new traumas, those old ones are stale.
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Sounds like you’re living just like the rest of us friend :) Always good remembering that the person who thinks of your awkward moments the most is yourself, and just not dwell on them too long
Have yourself a lovely day!
Introverts make friends by letting an extrovert adopt them.
Can confirm, my cousin adopted me and introduced me to their friends.
reminder to my fellow extraverts to treat their introvert extra well today, they might need it
This is so true! I have many other friends now because my best friend is a textbook example of an extrovert. He just knows people anywhere we go or at least someone knows him.
Yea. My strat is to be friends with the extrovert and then identify the other introverts who’re also friends with them and go be by ourselves together. I then return the favor by encouraging the introverts I’m now friends with to go to his outings.
LMAO what is this from? It looks hilarious!
It’s from the movie Animal House. :) One of my favorite scenes ever (because who hasn’t been that kid? lol).
I’m still waiting for this to happen…
Make sure your windows are open wide enough to allow a person to jump through.
Worked for me! Roommate was throwing a party and my now-wife got dragged along to it by her friend
Same, but it was my cousin doing the dragging.
Same, but it was my cousin… doing the dragging.
It’s really hard to meet people because all the people I want to know are hiding from humanity.
I don’t want the type of person I’d meet at a bar and there really aren’t many events for things I’m into around me. The people I’d like are more than likely like me, hoping I’d teleport into their living room just the same.
I’m also in a terrible place for my personality. It feels like I’m in materialistic asshat conservative HQ, so there’s that too…
Bentonville,
AKAR?Edit’ wrong state abbreviation. Sorry Alaska! Didn’t mean to offend any of the dozens of you up there.
Long Island actually lol
NY is weird because people have the impression that it’s all blue and chock full of “liberals” but a lot of long island is racist and conservative AF. A lot of “greater NY” is also conservative other than the larger cities. Long Island is also super expensive to live in so you tend to have more wealthy materialistic people here.
Is that in Nigeria? Or more somewhere in Asia?
Arkansas? No. It’s where the Walton’s gentrified the fuck out of what is now basically “their town.”
A buddy of mine got his first girlfriend in college after a family friend noticed that his single niece also liked manga and anime and introduced the two. I was very jealous of his attractive, nerdy girlfriend-turned-wife for several years until I finally got on a dating site and found love for myself.
I finally got on a dating site and found love for myself.
Luckyyy! I was on them for over a decade, but because of my location there’s a body of water separating all the cool people I’d see on there from me… Everyone around me is like the literal opposite of me.
I dunno how you went about it, but I’ve given some pointers to friends who weren’t having any luck with online dating, and a lot of them were being too passive about it, basing their potential match choices mainly off of “vibes” and sending mostly generic opening messages - the quantity-over-quality approach.
While I was on the site, I spent hours a day going through every single person’s profile - looking it over to really get as best of an understanding of the person as I could - and if I took interest in a few points, I’d send a message personalized to them based on what I saw on their profile. I also made sure that my own profile was well fleshed out, filling every field with well thought out responses, and putting up pictures of me hanging out with friends and doing activities like cooking and going to an amusement park.
Some, though not all, of the people who followed my advice eventually found success through dating sites. If you haven’t tried all this, I’d suggest giving it a shot. If you have, sorry for being presumptuous, and I hope that you find who you’re looking for eventually.
I spent hours a day going through every single person’s profile - looking it over to really get as best of an understanding of the person as I could - and if I took interest in a few points, I’d send a message personalized to them based on what I saw on their profile. I also made sure that my own profile was well fleshed out, filling every field with well thought out responses
I appreciate the advice, but I did all of this as well! I just don’t have the pictures of adventures because that’s not me lol I used to do a lot of hiking, but I’ve noticed a lot of profiles mention “I don’t care about your hiking or catching fish” (I don’t fish, but it was a common thing I’d read.) I think it’s just the kinds of people around me are too different than I am.
My self image definitely doesn’t help either. I’m of the age where everyone is a professional and I’m just a worthless shitbag factory supervisor.
Being a factory supervisor isn’t a worthless shitbag job.
It sure pays like one lol a bit better than a lot of other jobs an “uneducated” schmuck like me can get I suppose. I think it’s just how society views some types of jobs that leaves me feeling worthless.
Yeah well society is an asshole and personally I ignore most of what it says.
You’re in a position where you can affect whether the people around you feel like a worthless piece of shit, or like a valuable, appreciated human being. If you’re usually doing the latter and trying to avoid the former (and make it right when it does happen) then you’re not a worthless piece of shit.
You deserve to receive that too, and I’m sorry that you aren’t.
You’re in a position where you can affect whether the people around you feel like a worthless piece of shit, or like a valuable, appreciated human being.
That is actually how I operate, I’m always advocating for the guys I work with and buy them breakfast or something after a push. I always make sure to thank them for their help at the end of the day. It’s a bit easier as I work with them as opposed to over them and I think they see that. It helps that I get to point to the office as the “other” that is making life difficult as opposed to being part of it as well lol
That sucks, bud. I hope your future love makes their way to your living room eventually!
Thanks! I always keep a window open just in case! Lol :P
Atlantic Ocean?
That too lol but really the Long Island sound. A lot of people from Connecticut seem up my alley, but they’re an expensive ferry and hours and hours away…
yes, because putting yourself out there just gets you yanked around by assholes – ask me how I know.
Either Mr. Right will fall out of the great blue sky directly into my lap, or I’ll die alone. But I frankly no longer have the will to really put effort towards that, anymore; and I can’t fathom criticizing anyone else for deciding the same. Hell truly is other people.
how do you know
not having a single person express genuine attraction and interest in me, in my life + the one time I thought I had that interest, after a few months, they dumped me on Christmas morning via text and said they essentially meant nothing of what they said before. Every single person before or since has either forgotten I exist or ghosted me outright within days or weeks of starting talking to them, even when they initiate. I suppose the novelty just wears off. Couple other highlights include the guy who used me as his therapist for a couple months until he forgot I existed when he got on antidepressants, and the guy who was over-the-top affectionate for weeks until apparently a switch flipped in his head and he became distant and quiet until ghosting me. And many more that I won’t bore you with.
been slamming my head against that wall for 7+ years with absolutely no success, and I chose to stop trying for my own sanity. Sometimes you have to accept that some of the things you want out of life, are either simply not yours to have, or not in your control to obtain – it’s that or I keep raking myself over the coals trying to figure out what I don’t have that others want, and I’ve done that for long enough.
and my story is just one of many, many people experiencing the hell that is other people.
As a textbook people-pleaser, yeah it’s exhausting being the fun new toy until i realize they are using me as a bang-maid…
That point in life when “Haha, you’re so funny.” becomes an insult.
“You’re just so fun and quirky!”
Until the novelty wears off and they realize that the fun quirks are just a filter I have to put on all the time so my dad’s personality doesn’t shine through.
I love it’s always sunny in Philadelphia
Did you bang my hremoved wife!?
Because of the implication.
Sometimes you have to accept that some of the things you want out of life, are either simply not yours to have, or not in your control to obtain
Couldn’t have said it netter myself.
Just do stuff that other nice people do. Volunteer work is pretty good to meet decent people.
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You don’t have to do it for everything. There’s lots of lower risk, rewarding activities than trying to find someone decent to date. I’m way less depressed since I got over the idea that I needed to be in a relationship to be happy. I have friends I hang out with. I have hobbies that interest me. Sure I’d like to have sex more but being in a relationship is no guarantee of that either.
I thought my problem was not going outside, but I recently saw a post about how most people meet online now.
So it turns out I just suck. That’s helpful to know
Tbf that is helpful info
I remember being surprised to realize/remember that there are (were?) totally kids that will knock on a new neighbor’s door to ask their parents if they could come out to meet them and play
Imagine… taking action to put yourself out there and meet friends. That’s kinda wild
Careful about where the posts come from-- Tinder et. al. have a vested interest in spreading the notion that the normal thing to do is to meet online, and so they publish surveys and press releases that reinforce that idea. Editorialists want a scoop about how the Digital Age is changing everything and the Youths Today are completely subverting existing norms.
Some people meet online, yeah, and good for them. But still, going outside and having interactions with real people is still the primary way to form relationships, and that’s helpful in dating, career, hobbies, and wellbeing in general.
You don’t just suck. Online dating is still hard, and everything is even harder when you don’t have a solid foundation of other relationships in your life.
Quantum physics proves the chance of this happening isn’t 0. Maybe if they wait long enough?
That post’s gotta chill with the personal attacks, geez.
how else would i meet commander will riker, if not a transporter accident?
Ew, a stranger appearing uninvited in my house?
No, they can teleport to the driveway like a normal person, thankyouverymuch.
Pls text before you teleport.
/tpa sundray
I mean, we are not 100% unfindable, we comment here on Lemmy! Normalize finding love through Lemmy (/jk).
People should normalize finding love through online communities.
Does having a cat count as being in a relationship? Because I feel like it should. I used to have a tuxedo cat who I actually got married to all the time. I couldn’t help it, he was all dapper.
Man I feel personally attacked
Ive been going out more and looking at it as practice for when I meet someone I actually like. Id hate to run them off because I’m some kind of cave creature who can’t interact right
Have you not considered that you might run them off because you’re a socially adroit cave creature that’s out of their league?
You’re right, I’m defeating my own cause. Better get back to the cave and start chanting
