every time we go out to eat, I take like two bites and feel like throwing up, and I’m not one to get nauseous easily. this only started when we started dating (wed been best friends for 3 years or so up until that)
its not new food, I’ve been to these places many times before
Sounds like anxiety. Mild nausea and loss of appetite are something that I deal with on a daily basis. If you are happy then it could just be nervous excitement, like having butterflies in your stomach.
Ok, that helps. Still I think to look at what happens just before might help.
It’s called an anxiety attack. Talk to a therapist about it.
too poor for therapy lol (I need it but womp womp)
I’ve heard great things about these self-help tools from the Australian Centre for Clinical Interventions: https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Social-Anxiety
Then journal. Dump your thoughts onto paper, consider and reconsider. Just write out what you think. It can be a text file, a paper notebook with pen, whatever. Just write a lot.
yeah that could help, I’ve just always been a “bottle it up and call it a day” kind of guy
dunno, my mental health has been improving now that I’m out of school honestly so well see
Except for at the beginning of dinner dates.
Do you at least acknowledge it’s psychological? That unless she’s dosing your first bite with ipecac, there’s no physical reason to feel nauseous during the first couple bites of dinner dates?
Don’t bottle it up. Decades of experience talking here. Do what you can to come to terms with your feelings, thoughts, etc. Then find a job that has good mental health care and see a therapist.
Advice: you will likely need to try out a couple before you find the right one. When you’re comfortable with someone, you’ll know.
I find it helpful sometimes to write down the negative shit then wad it up and throw it away or burn the paper.
Don’t bottle up. That was the whole point of Inside Out. You have to experience the emotions.
That does not sound like an anxiety attack.
I have a similar issue sometimes. I feel like I get overstimulated by smells in restaurants… Also I’m lazy so I eat boring food at home, so maybe the variety contributes to the nausea.
Also I’m celiac, which definitely doesn’t help.
Maybe she’s poisoning you to get even for not asking her out earlier.
Did you sign up for any life insurance policies with her recently? Add her to your will? Is she currently borrowing something and has mentioned “jokingly” about how she’d really like to keep it?
Not a high probability, mind you, but since the subject was raised…
haha maybe
Maybe you’re spending money you shouldn’t. Also, maybe youre spending your heart when you shouldn’t.
My first thought is that there’s something about those first couple of bites that triggers the anxiety. Could be subconscious (well, it is subconscious currently if you’re unaware of a cause).
Are there any particular thoughts that occur when the meal arrives? Even thoughts that occur only briefly to be replaced by others?
This was my first thought. Being pretty poor most of my life, I’ve had that “oh-shit” gut-punch when going out to eat a lot of times. Money problems suck.
I’ll have to pay more attention to that I suppose
Anxiety?
If that tiny idiot of an amygdala in your brain thinks you’re in danger then nausea can be a symptom.
Go to the same restaurants at the same time under the same conditions (i.e. how recently you ate another meal, day of the week, the weather, etc.) but with a different person and see if you still feel ill. Vary the conditions until you find one that correlates with your illness. Then try altering that condition.
If you feel ill under all conditions then see a doctor. In fact it might be good to make a doctor appointment anyway.
But babe, we have to go out tonight. It’s for science!
“You’re not my sidechick, you’re my control condition!”
“I know you’re sick of it, but I’m gonna need you to get the chicken Parm again. Trust the process!”
yeah good idea honestly
Isolating variables like this is so cool!
Anxiety is a possibility, even if you aren’t actively feeling it. This is a good opportunity to seek help from a professional, even if it’s nothing related to that.
haha I’m too poor for therapy
Are you just really nervous about being on a date?
I don’t think so? but that could be a factor I suppose
Are there awkward pauses during your dinners? Do you think about things to talk about beforehand?
I guess maybe try to observe what happens just before you get sick each time.
we’ve been friends for long enough that there’s never really any awkward silence
silence, sure, but not awkward
Your brain has a mind of its own!
As does your gut!
You’ve known each other for 3 years? Wow that’s cool! How long did you know you liked her?
like 2 years. I was too dense to see she liked me back, she was too shy to say anything. were here now I guess 🤷♂️
This happened to me as well. I’d take a few bites of a meal and feel full/ nauseous; Sometimes even throw up. It went away after maybe 6 months of dating and we joke about it now 12 years later.
We chalked it up to nerves, but no one can tell for sure. Best of luck OP! Guessing you really like this person.
I hope that’s it and it goes away on. its own
yeah we’ve liked eachother for two years now, but I was too dense to realized she liked me back and she was too shy to say anything lol
My husband would get wild upset stomachs before we went out on a date. His aunt would tease him that he was allergic to me. It was anxiety.
I could spend the whole weekend with him in his apartment, and he’d feel fine. It only happened before we planned to go out to dinner specifically. Lunch was nbd to his brain.
interesting. now that I think about it the less fancy the place the more likely I’ll be okay I think? but imma start taking notes
but yeah that’s probably what it is
Really think about what you are expecting of yourself at times like that. Sometimes nice restaurants make me feel pressured to have a good time or otherwise “fit in” with the other people eating there.
Money is a serious thing. If your relationship is going to make your financial life unsustainable, that needs resolving.
It could be financial. Are you spending more money now that you’re a couple?
I mean a little, but ive got the money. and she pays half the time and those times aren’t any better so I don’t think its that. I also generally don’t think about money all that much.
Perfume?
It’s because you’re pregnant.
But on all seriousness, some say that there are cases when the would-be-father also feels nauseous with food when the girl gets pregnant.
Studio audience: OOOOOOOO!!!
Pregante.
am I gregnant?
can u burn a luigi board?
Is you prefnet?
don’t think that’s a possibility currently
very interesting tho
Maybe she’s poisoning you just a tiny bit at a time. Kidding, but have you guys eaten a meal at home together without you feeling sick?
not really, she came over once and we ate like polish crepes i made, and that was fine, but not much of a meal, no
I would try that a few more time, the fact that you were doing something will help with any anxiety
Try cooking dinner at home together and see if it happens.
