Russian President Vladimir Putin has suffered an emabarassing setback as his feared Satan 2 nuclear arsenal failed four out of five missile tests, according to arms experts and satellite imagery from the launch site.
High-resolution satellite images of the launch pad at Russia’s Plesetsk test site, where the RS-28 Sarmat intercontinental ballistic missile exploded, shows extensive damage.
A crater approximately 60 meters wide at the launch silo at the Plesetsk Cosmodrome in northern Russia, along with visible damage in the surrounding area that was not present in images taken earlier in the month.
That’s a Russian clean sweep! Get out the smuggled Champaign.
ok slightly unrelated but the satellite pictures have an insane resolution for having been taken from, you know, space
Just imagine what the government has if that’s what’s available commercially to the public
We know from Trump’s heedless shitposting that they can get the theoretical maximum out of whatever aperture they have. For the US ones with the Hubble-clone mirrors that means not quite enough to recognise a face.
i imagine a bit of that is a software trick
Who would have thought that simply robbing an entire nation and giving all the proceeds to your corrupt friends would lead to an inability to manufacture practically everything? TIL
And I bet the ones who had an issue with corruption tended to be more competent than those who were ok with it, biasing those who sent to gulags or slipped out of open windows towards those who could compensate for the corruption.
I wonder how China feels having a North Korea on both sides of its country.
Meh, ij mnay ways China IS north Korea, I doubt they have issues with it.
its north koreas all the way down?
I’m sorry, the what missile? I know there’s already “hellfire” missiles, but proclaiming a sequel to Lucifer Morningstar seems a bit silly.
It’s just the NATO designation. Official name is Sarmat.
It is not the NATO reporting name, as I detail in my comment. That’s associated with an older missile.
Try to copy Ukrainian missile from 58 years ago
Fail
Second greatest military in the world!
Second greatest military in the world
I think they might be second best in Russia by now lmfao
Try to copy Ukrainian missile from 58 years ago
When both Russia and Ukraine were part of the USSR?
Second greatest military in the world!
The USSR hasn’t existed for >30 years, since then, Ukraine and Russia have done little but feed on its corpse. Does anyone honestly think modern Russia has a better military than China?
Good point. Failing to copy your own missile would be even worse, though.
Does anyone honestly think modern Russia has a better military than China?
A good number of people did until early 2022. It looked a lot better on paper.
A good number of people did until early 2022. It looked a lot better on paper.
Did it? I remember a ton of propaganda about Putin and Russia going back to the Obama era, but then they’d show off stuff the USSR had developed to fight a war in Germany/Ukraine against late 1900s American equipment and tactics.
Whereas China was showing off their modern fighters, tank and ship production, and an entire branch of the military dedicated to missiles, and greater numbers than any other military.
.ml moment
No, the .ml moment would be something like “don’t believe your lying CIA eyes, all the non-Western nations are working together in beautiful anti-imperialist harmony and very competent”.
This seems like a normal take from someone who happens to be on .ml.
I expected a .ml to show up huffing copium when I saw this thread, wasn’t disappointed. So predictable.
It’s copium to acknowledge that Ukraine and Russia were part of the same country 58 years ago, and that modern Russia and Ukraine are able to achieve far less than the USSR was? This is evidenced by both countries primarily fighting with 30+ year old weapons.
I guess basic historical literacy is tankie shit now.
Ukraine has done a lot more to move forward then Russia ever has.
The USSR couldn’t have achieved a fraction of what it did without all its SSRs working together.
Hell it probably wouldn’t have survived getting invaded by every country with a military after WWI without both Russia and Ukraine.
And? I only said the Ukraine has been doing more to increase the quality of life for its citizens then Russia.
Also, it’s a pretty bold claim to say that EVERY nation with a military has tried to invade. I’d like to see a list of that.
it’s a pretty bold claim to say that EVERY nation with a military has tried to invade
It’s only the slightest exaggeration..
Between 1915 and 1920, they were invaded by: United Kingdom, France, US, Japan, Italy, Poland, Czechoslovakia, Greece, Serbia, Romania, China, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, The Ottoman Empire, and I’m sure I missed a few more.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_Russia_intervention
Really hard to adhere to quality if money is being pocketed at every corner and then spend outside the hellhole you created.
And I thought RS-32 was old!
It can carry multiple warheads, including nuclear ones, with estimates suggesting it can deliver up to 10–15 independently targetable reentry vehicles (MIRVs).
Oh good, if only one single missile in Russia’s entire arsenal goes off, we’d only loose 10-15 cities.
MIRVs have been a thing for like 50 years.
The US even took them out of submarine launched missiles, because they made the soviets so nervous we had to promise that we couldn’t delete half of their country in 15 minutes.
But don’t worry, nuclear war happens so fast, and diplomatic channels are so slow, if anyone launches anything, everyone is practically forced to launch everything or risk losing it. So even if Russia did just launch one to destroy 10-15 cities, all of the cities everywhere would be destroyed anyway.
The only winning move is not to play
If you ever look up at the sky and see 5-10 diagonal lines almost in parallel… well, if you have a firearm nearby, that would be a good time to self-exit for sure.
I live right next to one of the largest airports in the world.
I see 5-10 parallel lines in the sky multiple times a day.
I also live next to one of the largest airports in the world, which is a few miles from a national guard base located right outside one of the largest cities in America.
I’m probably in the fireball radius of a nuke, assuming the Russians haven’t been embezzling their government money and are still fueling their hydrogen bombs, so if the big red button gets pushed, I’ll just get vaporized about half an hour later.
Don’t shoot yourself just because you see lines in the sky. You’re either close enough to civilization for planes to make lines in the sky, in which case the bombs will probably get you anyway, or you’re so far out in the sticks that you’ll have plenty of time to make a decision.
Please don’t shoot yourself if 5-10 planes just happen to fly parallel
Shit. We just had an airshow here and I was about to look for my ticket for self exit. Thanks for the heads up.
“Tragedy at the air show today…”
Don’t live close to an airport lol
Article including the satellite imagery of the site where the RS-28 Sarmat missile exploded:
I’m sorry the hwhat?!
I know that a nuke would literally create a hell on earth but there’s no way you can name the fucking thing Satan and not be the bad guy.
They didn’t. They named it “Sarmat”.
NATO also had reporting names for Soviet weapons. IIRC surface-to-surface missiles start with “S”. A few are rather…less-than complimentary, “Satan” – the name used for the weapon that this replaces – probably being the most so.
This missile doesn’t have the reporting name “Satan 2” for NATO, though. The only link it has with the original surface-to-surface missile with the NATO reporting name “Satan” is that it’s supposed to replace it and so Western media, which very much enjoyed mentioning “Satan” wherever possible, dubbed the new missile “Satan 2”. But it’s not an official name with NATO or Russia, just something that the media uses for the clicks.
The original missile:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R-36_(missile)#R-36M
The new one:
No wonder the media is using Satan II. NATO hasn’t given it one or is just referring to it by number. I’d do the same thing if I was reporting on it.
They gave it one. It’s just not as evocative as “Satan”:
NATO reporting name: SS-X-29 or SS-X-30
Sounds like a Tesla model or one of Elon’s kids.
Well they couldn’t very well call it the Sexy 29.
Stupid sexy ICBM…
Found a Techpriest
No you can’t, because Russia can’t get it up!
I’ll show myself out…
NCD might
NATO hasn’t given it one or is just referring to it by number.
I’m not surprised the media went with Satan II.
Extremely angry at my military for naming it’s unlimited genocide machine “Big Evil Monster” rather than “Widdle Fuzzy Bunny Wabbit”.
Almost don’t even want them to use it anymore.
You should work for the Royal Navy.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Dainty_(H53)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Tickler
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Cockchafer_(1915)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flower-class_corvette
Just to name a few.
Can just give it a simple code. We don’t need fun names for this stuff.
We actually need the fun names. The point is that barely-educated Private Joe in the military remembers what it is and how it looks like, and does not mix it up with other things if he sees it.
It’s not a nickname, it’s an official reporting name.
Satan 2 literally is a nickname.
The official NATO reporting name is SS-X-29
That’s why he named it Satan 2.
Putin, the limpest dick in Russia.
Pls better source
Everyone said I was daft to build missile in Russia, but I built it all the same, just to show them. It blew up on the launchpad. So I built a second one. That blew up on the launchpad. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then blew up on the launchpad. But the fourth one stayed airborne! And that’s what you’re going to get lad, the stupidest named missile in all of Russia
What, the [Iron] Curtains?
sadtrumpet.wav
