I used to be a law student in poland (i hate that coutry and it’s ‘conservative values’), and I made a mistake by coming out as trans (mtf btw) to my conservative father (I really dont know what the fuck i was thinking, i hoped propably that he’d at least try to understand) and told him to not tell this to my even more conservaive and more religious fanatic mother for a while. Of course he didnt keep that fucking secret, he told me that he was devastaded by the news, and my mother was in tears. I then backed out out of this back into my closet, but I was so devastated, that I failed to exams and have to redo a year. So i am forced to go back into my fucking home. Even though I am quite visibly depressed and even attempted suicide twice, they did not make any appoitment to a pshychologist, but my fucking mother thought that i was possesed (fortunately now she doesnt think that i am). Instead of psychologist they force me to go to church nearly daily, where for example I heard yesterday priest comparing abortion to nazism. And they (my parents) almost constanty tell me haw i made them heartbroken after I told tham that i am trans, they wont even consider that they are destroying me and my life. They even forced me to give facebook and gmail passwords, so I cant even join any support group here. And did I menton that my mother is as emotionally stable as balans Just after fall of yugoslavia and my father sometimes hits me when hes angry. And the fact that poland is one of the worst places for lgbt people doesnt help either. fuck my parents fuck poland fuck vatican
I don’t know the minutiae of your life but I assume all of this happens because you are in a dependent relationship with your parents when it comes to your economy and that’s why they have so much control over you. I know it’s easy to say and hard to do, but I would recommend giving up your studies for a bit, until you can gain some independence from them, I would try getting a job and someplace where you can have more freedom and have a more stable life. If your parents are spying on you, you could use things like TailsOS which is an amnesic OS, and after you use it, everything is forgotten, you only need a USB stick and it comes preinstalled with Tor if you feel super scared, also if you don’t want them entering your e-mail, you should use a password that’s impossible to guess, for which a password generator that comes within a password manager is of great help. That way you may get some help of like minded people who are in similar situations who could give you a hand, I don’t know how good Europe/Poland is in regards to this kind of stuff but maybe there are place where you can get housing or someone with whom you can get a shared livelihood.
Thanks, fortunately they’re not tech save (on the opposite), and poland is terrible when it comes to lgbtq+, even the biggest Marxist Leninist party (which is still very small and barely legal) is a bit terfic