Hi, I dont plan to have a child for at least a few years, but sometimes I think about how I would raise them. I think about how parents today let their kids use the internet pretty much unmonitored, and let them watch and bring them to movies that are by most accounts, just flashing colors. Theres a few good ones Ive heard about such as Bluey, or movies like Luca, but I really dont think I’d want my kid to be watching Cocomelon, Pinkfong (baby shark), or any movie put out by Illumination. I especially dont want to allow them to use any kid of social media during their developmental years. However, I know for a lot of kids this is the norm, and I really dont want my kid to get bullied or to hate me for not letting them have what their friends have. What do current parents about the environment their kids are growing up in, and what would be good things to consider as I start to get closer to the age where I feel comfortable taking care of a little fella?

  • averyminya@beehaw.org
    3·
    1 month ago

    I’m not a parent yet either, but I’ve always planned on watching the shows for those stages.

    As for the other content, consider social cultural viewing. They aren’t the predominant content your child will be watching, especially if you are giving them more engaging content initially.

    For example, you may not go out of your way to show them Illumination movies, but your child’s friend will have friends who go to the movies for a birthday. IMO, that experience is more important than keeping them from viewing it to mitigate the risk of brain-rot. While the intentions may be good, I think it ultimately can do more harm in a lot of ways.

    To supplement this, it’s important to remember that conversation is key. Checking in with them before they go, having there be a difference of purpose between different types of movies. Some movies are fun and not much more than that. Some movies are fun because they can be talked about for a long time. Also, kids check out sometimes, don’t want to have conversations, so it’s a long term game, not really a checklist. If you forgot up to the day of the movie w/ friends and didn’t get to have the conversation before they go, preventing them from going won’t help anything.

    A better way to go about it, and this goes for content you don’t want them watching all of the time, is going through different sets of questions that let you get a sense of what your child is getting out of what they just watched. I can’t list a bunch of questions, so my guideline is when they detail events, ask them why they thought the character was doing that, or what they think other meanings could be.

    A lot of the time there are just no check ins about the content at all. Not necessarily appropriateness, but literally just “hey kid so what did you think?” and a few more questions. The issue is that parents are letting the kids watch the show endlessly on repeat without any check ins. And I get it, it can be hard when it’s day 2948 and you’re on day 948 of your rewatch of {insert show} and any questions you could possibly have had have long been asked 2 years ago… It’s literally a symptom of a kid loving something and watching it on repeat.

    So that’s my rough course of action and what I do for the children I’ve worked with.

    • WaveOPEnglish
      2·
      1 month ago

      Hello and thank you for the detailed reply. I think your idea is fantastic. I wasn’t thinking about having discussions about the media that has less of a bias because obviously I was approaching from a “I dont want them to see this at all” POV. I think theres a lot here for me to keep in Mine and I appreciate the input c:

      • averyminya@beehaw.org
        2·
        1 month ago

        Of course! It’s a good thing to try and get information on this and it’s a fun way to bond with your child! Plus it really helps bridge the gap, cause I agree that kids content is not all that great. I personally like media hosting, so I have a personal server for TV and movies that I like, but I’ve planned on having some of the better kids TV shows from my childhood, like PBS ones, and a mix of some of the better, newer ones so my kid stays somewhat relevant lol. But for most other stuff, the way I see it is just I didn’t have cable growing up and didn’t get to see everything except at friends houses and on JetBlu.

        YouTube is a bit of a different story though. Just don’t give them kids content at all there, curate that a lot :(

        • WaveOPEnglish
          3·
          1 month ago

          I actually host a Jellyfin Server myself with a bunch of my childhood VHSs and DVDs on it, hopefully the project will stay around that long and continue to get better by then lol. I dont think I’d want to allow my child on YouTube until they age out of the YouTube kids app, I know that thing is a dumpster fire.

          • averyminya@beehaw.org
            3·
            1 month ago

            The way I see it, you have the hard drives ;) even if the server goes, you can always spin them back up

            • WaveOPEnglish
              3·
              1 month ago

              This is true! I suppose I mean I hope the project is still around or there is a similar enough alternative. Using FTP to stream video is a real pain ;P

              • averyminya@beehaw.org
                3·
                1 month ago

                Oh yeah, Jellyfin shouldn’t be going anywhere and even then there’s still Plex, emby, and a number of others. Heck, even VLC will do the job!