complaining about my therapist, detrans, generally not really believing me
The cw kind of sums it all up but this week’s session really didn’t make me feel better about them. They brought up detrans people and how important it was to make sure before doing anything (I mean I guess?). Talked about how many of their clients stopped after two weeks. They talked about how I never ha e really put effort into how I look and should try that more before deciding to transition.
Another big thing they brought up was influence, as if I was being influenced into being trans. They talked about that for a little while.
I’m sure they said some affirming stuff too, like about how small things can be really helpful (like plushies/nails).
I don’t know. I’m so insecure in my identity already I just wish they weren’t like this. I know some of it seems really bad but this is how they are about other things too, just likes to explore all the options I guess.
And yes I’m pretty stuck with this one, at least for now. It just really sucks this is the best I have irl (I know having a therapist at all is a huge privilege but I do wish I had some trans/ally friends)
I mean, transition is indeed a process, but also I don’t think you should focus on how hard it would be to detransition if you’re wrong or something. Focus on figuring out what you actually like, try different things, try hormones if you want (you can stop before 3 months with basically no permanent changes).
For me, I did a partial social transition before I got on E for my own reasons. But also, it’s really hard. That being said it does build up your skin for it though lol.
I guess, I’d say if you’re unsure, just do some exploration. Nails, plushies, grooming, clothes, wigs (if you want), breast forms, all sorts of things. If you’re in a city there is probably some support group around? Check your local lgbt center if you have one.
Hormones can come later if you want. But that absolute, 100% knowledge that I’m trans didn’t come for me and I think never would come for me without just trying hormones. Even still idk it’s weird. I’m pretty damn sure but also dysphoria is a removed and always has me second guessing.
What Minecraft server does your therapist play on? I wanna hop in with them.
Anyway, honestly, the advice isn’t bad. Like Jennifer says, there’s a lot you can do without jumping on to hormones immediately. It’s okay to experiment and explore things without going all the way. Trans people throughout history didn’t have access to hormones or surgery, so, like, you can really be trans without any permanent changes to your body.
ALSO, detransitioning is fine. I know someone irl who detransitioned, and I know people here who have. It’s alright, too. It’s not a big deal. None of these people regret transition in the first place. It just wasn’t right for them anymore
They don’t? Why did you think that? I was tired when I posted and I’m still tired now so that’s not helping me.
I guess, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just on edge. Maybe I’m not explaining well enough. The influence thing really rubbed me the wrong way. They talked about how one client was telling them about how with all the pride flags a kid could think they’re gay. I don’t know. That story in particular I know I’m telling badly. Maybe it is worth thinking about but it still felt a little icky, you know? Why do you think I’m being influenced to be trans? I can’t imagine someone who is straight thinking they are gay because of gay people being out?
But yea I should. I don’t really have hormones anyway.
I know that. Honestly this lasting two weeks would be fantastic. Transitioning looks so hard and damn I’m a sucker for taking the easy route >.<
Edit: also I really appreciate you pushing back if I’m being dramatic/silly
To clarify my original comment, I was just saying that taking things slow and experimenting is a good idea and that you aren’t in any danger or acting impulsively.
As far as the “being influenced” thing goes, I didn’t comment. I’m not sure what to make of that. Charitably, maybe your therapist doesn’t want you to think that transition is “the fix” to an unrelated mental health issue that you may have. For instance, I have an anxiety disorder that is largely disconnected from my gender identity; however, I think about transition WAY more when I’m going through an episode of that because I instinctively have the feeling that I want to fix something in my life and feel better. Uncharitably, they think it’s just a phase or something. But… You could demonstrate it’s not over time. You just have to last more than 2 weeks, right?
also I really appreciate you pushing back if I’m being dramatic/silly
I don’t think I want to push back or tell you you’re being silly or dramatic. I think being with a therapist makes people feel incredibly vulnerable. I’m really thankful for mine. When I read about the things your therapist says, it really sets me off, so I think you’re right to feel that way.
Mostly, though, I’m just confused and I hope I’m communicating clearly xD
What Minecraft server does your therapist play on? I wanna hop in with them.
I took this literally ^ now that I’m less tired, I’m guessing you don’t mean you actually want to build a minecraft house together.
Anyway, honestly, the advice isn’t bad.
I kinda read this as “your therapist isn’t really wrong here” and pushing back on my complaints. I do feel really vulnerable, especially about this. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more vulnerable, now that I think of it.
I have to be able to read clearly 😅 too much tired posting. Why do I get so emotional when I’m tired.
Assuming you are talking about the detrans people, why should they? When I decided to try out HRT (and still am) open to realizing its not really something I care enough about (granted, mostly because I consider myself NB… even if I stopped, it wouldn’t mean I’m not trans). But I’m pretty confident there’s no permanent effects in the shortish term that I’d have a problem with. I have a tendency to avoid making decisions, so I don’t think I’d have started HRT if I were afraid of that.
The influence thing really rubbed me the wrong way. They talked about how one client was telling them about how with all the pride flags a kid could think they’re gay.
Seems like your therapist is concern trolling. Who seriously would think they’re trans in this social environment just because a few people try to oppose the allocisheteronomative society?
Assuming you are talking about the detrans people, why should they?
I was talking about my therapist playing on a minecraft server. Sorry, clearly should have quoted Thallo here. Now that I’m thinking about it maybe it was the like “I’d like to _____ in minecraft” meme?
I don’t know. I’m so insecure in my identity already I just wish they weren’t like this.
I’m sorry your therapist is hurting you this way You really don’t need some fucker poking holes in any confidence you can build, you deserve better than that. It is not their fucking job or place to judge how much “effort” you put in, you should only do what you’re comfortable with
Also “being influenced into being trans” is an unironic terf nazi dog whistle, fuck that shit
complaining about my therapist, detrans, generally not really believing me
The cw kind of sums it all up but this week’s session really didn’t make me feel better about them. They brought up detrans people and how important it was to make sure before doing anything (I mean I guess?). Talked about how many of their clients stopped after two weeks. They talked about how I never ha e really put effort into how I look and should try that more before deciding to transition.
Another big thing they brought up was influence, as if I was being influenced into being trans. They talked about that for a little while.
I’m sure they said some affirming stuff too, like about how small things can be really helpful (like plushies/nails).
I don’t know. I’m so insecure in my identity already I just wish they weren’t like this. I know some of it seems really bad but this is how they are about other things too, just likes to explore all the options I guess.
And yes I’m pretty stuck with this one, at least for now. It just really sucks this is the best I have irl (I know having a therapist at all is a huge privilege but I do wish I had some trans/ally friends)
I mean, transition is indeed a process, but also I don’t think you should focus on how hard it would be to detransition if you’re wrong or something. Focus on figuring out what you actually like, try different things, try hormones if you want (you can stop before 3 months with basically no permanent changes).
For me, I did a partial social transition before I got on E for my own reasons. But also, it’s really hard. That being said it does build up your skin for it though lol.
I guess, I’d say if you’re unsure, just do some exploration. Nails, plushies, grooming, clothes, wigs (if you want), breast forms, all sorts of things. If you’re in a city there is probably some support group around? Check your local lgbt center if you have one.
Hormones can come later if you want. But that absolute, 100% knowledge that I’m trans didn’t come for me and I think never would come for me without just trying hormones. Even still idk it’s weird. I’m pretty damn sure but also dysphoria is a removed and always has me second guessing.
What Minecraft server does your therapist play on? I wanna hop in with them.
Anyway, honestly, the advice isn’t bad. Like Jennifer says, there’s a lot you can do without jumping on to hormones immediately. It’s okay to experiment and explore things without going all the way. Trans people throughout history didn’t have access to hormones or surgery, so, like, you can really be trans without any permanent changes to your body.
ALSO, detransitioning is fine. I know someone irl who detransitioned, and I know people here who have. It’s alright, too. It’s not a big deal. None of these people regret transition in the first place. It just wasn’t right for them anymore
They don’t? Why did you think that? I was tired when I posted and I’m still tired now so that’s not helping me.
I guess, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just on edge. Maybe I’m not explaining well enough. The influence thing really rubbed me the wrong way. They talked about how one client was telling them about how with all the pride flags a kid could think they’re gay. I don’t know. That story in particular I know I’m telling badly. Maybe it is worth thinking about but it still felt a little icky, you know? Why do you think I’m being influenced to be trans? I can’t imagine someone who is straight thinking they are gay because of gay people being out?
But yea I should. I don’t really have hormones anyway.
I know that. Honestly this lasting two weeks would be fantastic. Transitioning looks so hard and damn I’m a sucker for taking the easy route >.<
Edit: also I really appreciate you pushing back if I’m being dramatic/silly
Sorry, I’m confused.
I’m not sure what you’re referring to here.
To clarify my original comment, I was just saying that taking things slow and experimenting is a good idea and that you aren’t in any danger or acting impulsively.
As far as the “being influenced” thing goes, I didn’t comment. I’m not sure what to make of that. Charitably, maybe your therapist doesn’t want you to think that transition is “the fix” to an unrelated mental health issue that you may have. For instance, I have an anxiety disorder that is largely disconnected from my gender identity; however, I think about transition WAY more when I’m going through an episode of that because I instinctively have the feeling that I want to fix something in my life and feel better. Uncharitably, they think it’s just a phase or something. But… You could demonstrate it’s not over time. You just have to last more than 2 weeks, right?
I don’t think I want to push back or tell you you’re being silly or dramatic. I think being with a therapist makes people feel incredibly vulnerable. I’m really thankful for mine. When I read about the things your therapist says, it really sets me off, so I think you’re right to feel that way.
Mostly, though, I’m just confused and I hope I’m communicating clearly xD
I took this literally ^ now that I’m less tired, I’m guessing you don’t mean you actually want to build a minecraft house together.
I kinda read this as “your therapist isn’t really wrong here” and pushing back on my complaints. I do feel really vulnerable, especially about this. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more vulnerable, now that I think of it.
I have to be able to read clearly 😅 too much tired posting. Why do I get so emotional when I’m tired.
Lmao, I was trying to riff on the site joke about hurting someone (in Minecraft)
Assuming you are talking about the detrans people, why should they? When I decided to try out HRT (and still am) open to realizing its not really something I care enough about (granted, mostly because I consider myself NB… even if I stopped, it wouldn’t mean I’m not trans). But I’m pretty confident there’s no permanent effects in the shortish term that I’d have a problem with. I have a tendency to avoid making decisions, so I don’t think I’d have started HRT if I were afraid of that.
Seems like your therapist is concern trolling. Who seriously would think they’re trans in this social environment just because a few people try to oppose the allocisheteronomative society?
I was talking about my therapist playing on a minecraft server. Sorry, clearly should have quoted Thallo here. Now that I’m thinking about it maybe it was the like “I’d like to _____ in minecraft” meme?
Yea that might be a good way to describe it.
I’m sorry your therapist is hurting you this way
You really don’t need some fucker poking holes in any confidence you can build, you deserve better than that. It is not their fucking job or place to judge how much “effort” you put in, you should only do what you’re comfortable with 
Also “being influenced into being trans” is an unironic terf nazi dog whistle, fuck that shit
Thank you
I think they mean well but still.
I know it is, that’s what makes me nervous. I’m sure we’ve all seen some really bad people talk like that.