Edit: while I’m at it, does anyone know what I should do when I’m waiting for a coincidence/adventure to happen, but it never comes? I can’t really go outside and arrange for it to happen because I don’t know what I’m looking for.
Edit: while I’m at it, does anyone know what I should do when I’m waiting for a coincidence/adventure to happen, but it never comes? I can’t really go outside and arrange for it to happen because I don’t know what I’m looking for.
Not sure it’s really a quote, so maybe it doesn’t count … but it’s such common wisdom that it probably should count.
I never really appreciated it until I went through something where the wisdom of it would have made the difference. The slightly more precise version, IMO, is that whenever you’re in a position where something beyond your control can have a substantial influence on the outcome, you need an exit plan before you commit to that position, where that plan includes the definition of the conditions which trigger both the preparation of the execution of the plan and the time to actually exit.
The whole idea is to be prepared to not get fucked by other people or bad luck. And half of the benefit of having the plan is in the perspective it gives you. Instead of having Stockholm syndrome or suffering from the sunk cost fallacy, you naturally assess your situation as the set of trade offs that it is and more naturally perceive the toxic people that are essentially stuck in their worlds and either hold others back or propagate the culture that holds others back.
Make sure you have the plan, including the trigger conditions, formulated ahead of time, and regularly think back on the plan as you’re going along, adjusting or reassessing as necessary.
Can confirm. I was an employee at a pizza place - and thus allowed to use the staff exit - for just one night.
Exit was used.
This is game-changingly good advice. I just wish it was easier to come up with exit plans. I have often found myself stuck in situations where there was no clear or realizable exit plan opportunity, which meant I wasted a lot of time being stuck in the Stockholm syndrome situation, and resenting it.
Yea, sometimes you don’t have many options and that’s just kinda life. But if you don’t have to commit to a situation, project, job etc … I think it will always help to at least try to come up with an exit plan, because even if there isn’t a good one, it helps you frame everything in terms of trade offs and understand that most things, at some point, just aren’t worth it because there are always other options (at least that’s how I see things now, as someone who hasn’t valued being flexible and agile in life nearly enough).
Part of the reason why various philosophies dictate you should do A before B is to avoid the situation where you have a B without an A.
“Do A before you B” is a common way of saying “A is a dependency of B”.
It’s a way of saying “Don’t B unless you know you can A”, but it de-abstracts the knowing down to proving, by trying and either succeeding or failing.