cross-posted from: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/4657758
Can you find love after 30?
Can a guy who hasn’t had much luck with women until his 30s find love by then or is it already too late for him?
Kinda weird to assume there’s a cutoff age to be honest.
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It’s because a lot of cultures both idealize young love and also devalue older partners.
There’s no hard cutoff age but, I think we’d be lying if we said dating becomes more difficult with age, or at least it does past a certain age. I’d argue I did better in my late 20s than early 20s, so sometimes having a few more years of experience and maturity helps. However the older you get the more people in your age bracket have either coupled off or lost interest in romance so pickings become slimmer, also dating is harder when you have less energy, easier to find people to fool around with when youthful horniness can drive you to stay up till 4am on the slim chance of making out with someone you met at Brian Keenan’s after game kegger.
But there’s people who find love in retirement homes so anything is possible.
However the older you get the more people in your age bracket have either coupled off or lost interest in romance so pickings become slimmer, also dating is harder when you have less energy, easier to find people to fool around with when youthful horniness can drive you to stay up till 4am
around what age does it become like that? when do people lose youthful horniness like that?
Different for different people but usually around 30. Maybe it’s less that they’re not as horny but the staying up till 4pm becomes harder. And yeah I’m 30 and most of my friends are either married or in very serious relationships now so meeting singles my own age does feel harder.
I wonder if it necessarily becomes harder to stay up all night as you get older, as long as you’re still getting the required number of hours of sleep
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I sincerely encourage anyone who thinks your life is mostly over the second you turn 30 to log off
what about 34?
Your mom found love with me after 30 😛
Jokes aside, yeah no, there’s no specific age for this. You might feel like there’s a cutoff age because of societal standards. Some people have a tendency to look down on people who aren’t doing great romantically and/or sexually past a certain age. Due to this kind of peer pressure, people can feel weird, ashamed, or “broken,” like they have no chances of finding love if they don’t do it young enough. This isn’t a problem with you or your age; this is a problem with toxic standards that society can have for romance sometimes.
I couldn’t find it before 30 so I sure fucking hope so
Setting aside the concept of it being too late, it kind of depends I would think. As someone that is in their 30s and a pretty limited love life I would say its definitely difficult. But it probably has more to do with the fact that there’s certain things with myself that I haven’t really addressed or overcome.
Totally. Made out with a hotty from work at 32. I’m coming up to 50 and I’ve barely spent a night away from her. We’re still madly in love.
I have a very good friend I’ve known since we were in grade school together who never had a partner the entire time we hung out regularly. He was just always a bit shy and awkward around women. I moved away from the city we both lived in when I was 27 and then about five years later he suddenly started dating a woman who had a son from a previous marriage. They’ve been together about maybe five years now and married for at least two. He’s become even more of a leftist since the start of COVID (he used to be just a generally left-leaning lib type and now is a declared socialist) and he went vegan, which blew my mind because he used to always just eat fast food when I knew him. So yes, you can find love and develop a whole lot more after 30.
Yes. It’s harder because of a multitude of factors (the demise of ‘third places’, your peers opting to stay in, accumulated wear & tear on our bodies, e.t.c) but not impossible.
Yes
Yes, of course. I got married (for the first time) in my 30s.
Yes, its even easier than when you’re younger, gotta fight people away. Now I understand the phenomena among say the 60+.
I don’t get what you mean. Why does it get easier?
As people age they realize the whole conventional attractions and set material list of needs are to a large degree simply illusions, long as its people enjoying each others presence and have some sort of even idle desire its more than good enough, and it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks beyond parties involved.
As one ages this observation becomes stronger. Simply put, as you age you give less fucks, which leads to more fucks.
Yes, its even easier than when you’re younger, gotta fight people away.
where do you go that you have to fight 'em away? lol
Out in public
yeah but like at bars or what
Just out in public, like at work or the grocery store. I don’t go to bars I can’t afford that shit and never will be able to.
I found mine at 35. Honestly it gets easier, not harder.
Why is that?
I trust myself more, and care more about relevant shit than I did when I was younger. Sorry that’s really basic, but I’m super tired now.
Just look at Blanche from Golden Girls. She didn’t seem to have much trouble finding dates.
Seriously though, you probably can but I’ve given up and I just have my dog, Gundams, and shitposting on hexbear and discord. Maybe things will change when I can escape this place and travel to a land far far away.
Yeah you can. Just have to take care of yourself a little more with diet and exercise but it’s not that much different
Stop trying to find love and let love find you
