I need to get up without waking the wife and kids, I got a smartwatch to vibrate and it woke her. The alarm is always going to wake the house.
Is there anything else?
I can’t imagine that you can get out of bed without waking your wife if your smartwatch vibrating wakes her up.
Depends where the arm is I think. When it vibrates under the pillow you’re using, it can sound very loud
I assume that OP isn’t sleeping with the wrist wearing the watch underneath the pillow their wife has her head on.
Pulling your arm from under a pillow someone is using seems very likely to disturb them and wake them. You’re not doing that, OP, right?
Idk, my husband can sneak out of bed, but his phone vibrating in the bed wakes me. Even if it’s just a little zzt to indicate a text has come in. I guess it’s one of the noises I’m “listening for”?
Well, I’m sure you’re right.
Vibrating butt plug with timer
Realistically, your wife is your partner and some sacrifices need to be made. If she can’t sleep through a watch, she should consider earplugs or just deal. I’m sure you silence it and leave the room ASAP so, that’s just life of sharing a room with a spouse.
Edit like literally millions of spouses have tolerated their other rising before them, it’s a normal part of the deal
Plus you can make a side hustle by cheating at chess
My dad has had the single fucking loudest alarm clock for literally my entire life. It’s such a god awful racket. It had to be, because my dad has the worst snoring I’ve heard in my life. Man sounds like a chainsaw, and you can hear him clear across the house. My mom would sleep directly through it all. It’s wild.
Damn, I was coming here to say this. All I can add is that maybe sleep on your stomach with one of these, otherwise it could wake her up vibrating the mattress, since she sounds like a light sleeper.
in a strange twist, the chess world already solved this one. Vibrating buttplug
Was there a scandal where a chess player had a vibrating buttplug controlled by another person giving him the answers? That’s….dedication I guess
I believe it was more like: a guy was accused of cheating (against Magnus Carlsen), and anarchychess on reddit came up with the buttplug theory. Now everyone thinks it actually happened.
There was, and then some guy put it to the test á la mythbuster style. I’ll leave the conclusion for you to enjoy
With some sort of link I assume? Or no.
Considering that you can control Lovense toys (and others) from any where in the world, if they had no delay in the live feed, it would be simple to communicate moves, even to a complete novice.
From there, all you’d need is somebody in the audience with a chess game open and set to the highest difficulty.
That person “plays” as magnus and sends the moves the AI takes.
The easiest way to prevent it is to prevent people in the live audience from having phones, and delaying the feed ~5 minutes for everyone else.
which is normal, actually, since you want to cut the feed before a streaker… oh right this is chess.)
If Lemmy had awards I’d give you one because I really thought I was gonna be original by bringing that up but no, you beat me to it, well done
It waa the first thing I thought of as well so there are at least 3 of us.
Yo
Drink several glasses of water before going to bed so you wake up to pee.
That could work, I’d need to figure out how long it takes to get to pee time from drinking.
Practice, practice, practice!
But not too much practice
Damn that is genius
What if you put the smart watch on your ankle? The covers might muffle the noise but you still feel it vibrate.
I was really hoping someone had like a really low volume pillow alarm or something, but instead, you guys are just really creative. I wouldn’t have thought to do this.
Someone makes, or used to make, a pillow speaker that used bone conduction. It connects to a cell phone. Could try this and make your alarm only sound through this speaker and not your phone speaker. Or maybe try a basic flat pillow speaker. Good luck
You could grab a brush and put a little make-up. Perhaps hide the scars to fade away the shake-up. But then why’d you leave the keys upon the table? Ah, here you go create another fable.
Why do you want a discreet way to wake up? You wanted to.
I don’t think you trust in my self-righteous suicide, I cry when angels deserve to die
Something clicked in my mind when I read the phrase self-righteous suicide and SOAD just popped into my head
Probably to be polite, and give his family more valuable sleep time while he does responsible things.
Gotta get to work and do that important maintenance so the Systems don’t go Down.
WHAT? Do they own the World? How do you own disorder?
Somewhere between the sacred silence and peace.
Drink a lot of water before bed, your bladder will wake you up
Get a cat and feed it first thing every day when you get up. Soon you’ll have claws in your arm to wake you. Might it meow and wake the wife and kids? Perhaps, but wives and kids love cats so they won’t mind.
Have her boyfriend give you a shake when its time to get up.
deleted by creator
connected butt plug
How does improving one’s skill in chess correlate to waking up early?
Kindly ask her to get used to your alarm sound, and not wake up then.
This may seem harsh, but actually it isn’t. Every house has it’s own specific sounds, and it is quite normal to get used to them and not wake up. If you hear other sounds that are unusual, then you wake up. It is a natural thing.
I had a roommate in college that had trouble waking up even with an alarm, and had a much earlier class schedule than me. Never got used to it, just got sleep deprivation. Maybe it’s “natural” for you and my ex roommate to sleep through alarms, but as they are designed to not let you sleep through them, many people cannot.
Yes, but presumably OP can find an alarm that isn’t as obtrusive as the average one.
It’s still obviously going to disrupt the sleep of anyone else in the same room. Maybe if the alarm sounded through headphones it would not.
Yeah, we’ll get used to the house for sure, but I’ll have to be quiet for the time being. It’s not worth losing what could be an extra hour or two of everyone’s sleep. We generally make an effort to not shield them from noise during daytime naps and such, but sleep is too precious these days.
What if you got a battery and put it on a timer and hooked the electrodes to your toes? That way you get moderately zapped, and she doesn’t wake up. After a week or so, I would bet you have so much anxiety that your internal clock will wake you, even without the zap. The body is amazing.
I had to put on my glasses to read the post title…
Legitimate answer though, once upon a time before I realized such relationships are not really feasible for me to maintain, I just kept a separate stowable bed in the office for work nights when I had to get up earlier without waking the gf. Days she got up earlier, she couldn’t wake me if she tried, but I would sometimes steal the blanket and wake her early still so we got multiple separate blankets. Usually three in case one of us did a double blanket steal.
Ngl, had to read the title twice.
I originally read it as “…discreet way of walking myself…”Was thinking: “What kind of question is that? Just stand up and start walking somewhere. No need to be discreet about it…”
Then thought maybe the family dog was looking for advice from Lemmy?
Does your wife wear a sleep mask/would she be willing to wear one? You could then get one of those sunrise alarm clocks that lights up the room before making noise.
Or motorized blinds that can be set to a schedule. I’m very light sensitive and setting the blind schedule is all I need to wake up or sleep in.
If she woke up to a vibration from a watch, I bet she’d wake up hearing motorized blinds.
