• ryan@the.coolest.zone
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    10 months ago

    Though the network engineer cries out, the parents do not come back to take care of the hatchling. The newborn must climb down the cell tower on its own and immediately begin searching for food, shelter, and a job in the telecommunications industry. The rapid fledging cycle of the network engineer means that only a handful survive into employment.

  • ThePyroPython@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    I can’t speak for how network engineers are born, but I can tell you how electronic engineers are chosen.

    It all starts when the young child discovers a screwdriver set either located in the garage or the drawer-o-stuff™. They then realise their favourite toys and electronics around the house have screws the screwdriver fits into.

    Once this realisation has occurred, a new voice speaks in their head for the first time “Open me, see what’s inside”. No matter how much they resist or what the parents do to hide the tools and tape over the screws, the voice still calls “Open me, see what’s inside”.

    Eventually the child opens the device and sees the PCB. A green plate populated with what look like perfectly rectangular tiny stones, black squares dotted around, tic-taks with coloured banding, very small grey doughnuts with an orange thread wrapped around, and a few black cylinders that look like small batteries.

    They flip the PCB over and see a network of metallic straight and angled lines running between circles where little metal points protrude from tiny mounds of shiny silver blobs. With screw driver in hand, the child prods these small silver blobs. Nothing happens. They keep poking around until they bridge two blobs on the underside of the biggest black cylinders.

    Suddenly there’s a bright flash, a bang, the child jumps back and yells in surprise. They take a moment before slowly approaching the PCB and see a trail of magic smoke that wafts from the now burnt cylinder.

    They know not, but the child’s fate has been sealed. A gift and a curse has now been bestowed upon them

    A parent walks in hearing the yelp, and sees their prized electronic possession in a state of chaotic dissasembly. They scold the child and sends them away to their room.

    That voice still persists and the parent eventually gifts the child a small electronics kit, lest they continue to break the parent’s possessions.

    The child begins in earnest on their first project, staying up well past bedtime and into the night to complete it. When the last piece is placed, the child leans back and appreciates their handiwork. They prepare to tentatively throw the ON switch, leaning back and squinting with one eye closed.

    The kit springs to life much to the child’s surprise and delight, it’s working!

    It is at this moment the gift and curse is revealed:

    The Knack.

    PSA about the link

    Yes I know that’s a link to Dilbert, so let me be clear: Scott Adams can go fuck himself.

    • XTornado
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      10 months ago

      Done that but it was a toy walkie talkie and I just plugged the positive and negative of the batteries on the 230V plug connections to increase it’s reception.

      The fireball was amazing.

      That said I became a software engineer instead, maybe the voltage or current was too high for me.

  • lugal
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    10 months ago

    This is actually fake and I can tell you why:

    Network engineers – like all other birds – do not “hedge” like humans do. On the contrary: they are engineered themselves and assembled in drone factories. Network engineers and birds in general are governmental drones. Think about it: have you ever seen a birds hedging in real life? I’m not talking about children books or photos you made or other propaganda pieces. I’m talking real life. Have you? I doubt it and even if, I wouldn’t believe it because I’m not naive!

    c/birdsarentreal

  • kromem@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Hope things go well when OSHA pushes him out of the next to make sure he’s wearing his safety equipment.

    • Aceticon@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Looking at the open ends of fibre lines to see if there are little lights in there and giggling when the lights come on…

      • OpenStars@startrek.website
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        10 months ago

        Tee-hee-hee!:-)

        There are those who say that network engineers aren’t real, just a cover story made up by the government, but how can you look at that cute face and still believe that:-).

  • Hjalmar@feddit.nu
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    10 months ago

    Hmm, yep that’s how I imagine that there born. But I don’t know any network engineer’s well enough to know. But how else would the hatch?