I want a rundown of all the crimes House commits and what % of episodes contain felonies.
Cause they’re certainly missing the “Foreman, break into the dudes house and tell me everything in his crawlspace” scene, and the “Cameron, lie to him and drug him with this non-approved treatment and let’s see if he starts dying quicker or slower.”
Nearly every episode contains a felony since he’s constantly taking medication obtained via prescription fraud.
That came later, I think at least to begin with he was just prescribing to himself, then lost privileges.
I don’t think it is outright illegal to prescribe yourself drugs. Judy discouraged.
I don’t think it is outright illegal to prescribe yourself drugs. Judy discouraged
Nah, it’s super illegal. At least in the version of New Jersey the show takes place in.
They point that out a couple of times during the run of the series and if memory serves, that’s actually one of the few crimes of his that he ALMOST gets in real trouble for.
That and stealing Wilson’s prescription pad to make it seem like he’s the one prescribing them. Which is of course a couple seperate crimes 😄
He did kind of sort of run a goddamn car through a house. Then he went to jail for exactly one fucking episode.
Was that the Lin Manual Miranda episode? Or was he in the rehab arc? It’s been so long.
It was a big season finale, i think leading to the second to last season? He drove his car into Cuttys house and went to jail but then they released him on a work release program right back to the hosptial.
Admittedly I haven’t put that much effort into this search, but I am surprised to learn that the real life New Jersey apparently does not have this law in the criminal code. Most other places do though!
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Literally the best part of every episode is when the hospital doctors break into the patients home and start ransacking it looking for clues as to their illness, which as we all know, is taught semester 1 in medical school. Semester 2 is when you learn how to do actual medical tests.
The disconnect from reality is so ridiculous. IRL you can be bleeding from your forehead with a giant gash in your skin, and they’ll be like “we’re not really sure what the problem is, and we don’t care. Let’s run blood work. We’ll get back to you in 5 days, but only if anything from the tests comes back positive. Other than that, pay your $785 before you leave, and then get the fuck out”.
I agree. We basically need this format, but for House:
Not to bring things down but… when you’ve been dealing with an undiagnosed illness which has gone on for months (i.e. me), you’ll be happy to take someone with the bedside manner of Dr. House as long as you get some sort of answer.
And no, it isn’t lupus.
Have you considered it’s all in your head? /s
The funny thing is we actually considered some sort of brain issue, but according to my neurologist after seeing my MRI, I have a very healthy brain.
Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m not imagining things. Who knows? Anything could be psychosomatic.
Note that neurology is a science at an infant stage. Not only do we have limited tools to analyze the brain, we barely know how it works. In contrast, even though plenty of forms of cancer are very difficult to treat, we have a solid understanding of how it works, we just have difficulties creating remedies that are safe and effective for all forms of cancer.
Things could be psychosomatic, but I was being sarcastic for a reason. Many people dismiss other’s pain as psychosomatic as a quick way to ignore their needs. I say trust yourself as much as it makes sense to do so.
Actually, it’s not a pain thing. I’m in no pain from it at all. It’s just a mystery. I dry heave every morning like I have morning sickness (unlikely due to, like, having a penis) and I have been unable to eat solid food since August (I had another six-week bout in March). I live on Ensure and Gatorade. I have had a ton of tests- X-rays, labs, an MRI, a HIDA scan and two EGDs (where they send a scope down your throat). I have had a biopsy of my stomach. I have had my gallbladder removed. Nothing has changed. So I have an appointment at the Mayo Clinic for the end of March (unless someone cancels and I can get in sooner) where hopefully I’ll meet my Doctor House and get this sorted out.
But there’s no pain and very little discomfort. I feel fine most of the time. I can live a relatively normal life despite this, although obviously I have fairly low energy. I mean it sucks not eating, I’d love to eat. A new Nepalese restaurant opened here. I’ve never even had Nepalese food! I drive by it all the time and look at the pictures outside and think, “wow, I wish I could eat that.” But I can’t. It’s not nausea, it’s a total aversion to food. The smell, the texture, etc. And no hunger ever. My GP described it as similar to anorexia but with a physical cause. We just don’t know what that cause is.
The only positive is that I’ve lost 70 pounds and am 10 pounds away from my ideal weight. I still look fat, but hey, we can’t have everything. So I do recommend having a mystery illness where you can’t eat if you want to lose weight. It works better than Ozempic!
I hope you get that all sorted, good luck!
Thanks!
I actually remember reading about a case similar to yours on cracked.com of all places. The guy would vomit out any food he ate and it continued for months.
Apparently, he had a respiratory infection, but instead of lungs it went to his guts and messed his digestive system up. He ended up taking antipsychotics to trick his body into thinking that everything was fine.
Hooray. Unfortunately, that’s not me. For one thing, when this started I was on an antipsychotic (not because I’m psychotic, it’s for a nerve disorder, but I don’t take it anymore) and for another, and this is one of the weird parts, I never have thrown anything up. It’s always a dry heave. Even when I was able to eat.
Not to be too gross, but how’s your poo?
Have you had Covid (or Covid symptoms) shortly before this started happening? I think the new booster didn’t come out until September.
It is what you would expect from someone who has a diet low in fiber.
And I had COVID in between the bouts of not eating.
Also, no offense meant here, but I really do not want medical advice over the internet from people I don’t know.
Completely understandable. Some doctors are reluctant to consider long COVID, even though food aversion could be caused by it.
Good luck getting to the bottom of it. I’d be freaking out the more mysterious it gets. Especially for a GI issue since they can get a pretty damn good look at the whole thing from several angles.
Re: the fiber…not even liquid Metamucil? I’d be feeling terrible if I was going months without a good poo. That’d probably be more difficult for me than living off ensure (considering I had voluntarily done several week juice-fasts or just soylent+coffee)
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I’m sorry to hear it.
That’s one of the signs of lupus. /s
How do your shoes look? Could be butthole worms
At an opposite corner of the spectrum, you can rarely find doctors as smug as House but as unable to help you as all the others you have previously visited.
It’s never lupus
Except that one damn time.
They left out lupus. Always gotta rule out lupus.
It’s never lupus. Except that one time when it was lupus.
Awww why’d you post the one without the audio?
I know that it’s probably on purpose and supposed to be funny in itself but holy shit did he fellate that poor microphone! Almost made it unwatchable!
It almost sounded like he was speaking through a kazoo
I didn’t know a kazoo could scream in pain like that 😄
‘You are a black man.’ Has lived rent free in my head for years
House was the only medical show for me that was able to be this predictable, and I would watch. Hmmm… maybe time for another watch.
It’s because the show wasn’t about the medicine or solving the case, it was about what it cost to be House.
Yeah, but considering it’s supposed to be Sherlock Holmes as a doctor, shouldn’t it at least be a little bit about solving the case?
Before anyone questions it being a Holmes show, since that seems to have gone over so many people’s heads:
House = Home (Holmes)
Both of their colleagues are named Watson
Both use deduction to solve mysterious cases (medical vs criminal) that no one else can crack.
Both live at 221B Baker Street
Both have drug issues
Both play musical instruments in order to think things through
House is shot by a man named Jack Moriarty (Moriarty is frequently presented as a nemesis of Holmes)
You forgot the most important factor.
The writers literally said they based House off of Sherlock Holmes stories.
House has Wilson, Holmes has Watson
Also mysteries are frequently solved in a way the audience could not have known because it was with information only House/Holmes had. But it’s expected in a medical drama because the audience isn’t full of doctors.
Both live at 221B Baker Street
For real? I never watched House, but him being inspired by Holmes doesn’t surprise me given the idea I got through pop-cultural osmosis. But he actually lives on the same address? That sounds a bit too on the nose.
Wait no way really? It’s basically a ripoff then? Never watched the show but do they bill it as such?
It’s an homage. Also, House’s confidante is Wilson, not Watson.
It’s an adaptation, not a rip-off
You could call Elementary and Sherlock ‘rip-offs’ too. The fun thing about public domain material is that anyone can do whatever the hell they want with it. Personally, I think all three shows were good (or at least started as good).
I really liked House. I don’t know shit about medicine, but my whole job is troubleshooting, and the troubleshooting in the show has actually helped me.
Some big takeaways…
Most hard to solve issues are really just a combination of 2 or 3 simple issue acting together in a weird way.
Everybody lies - I don’t necessarily agree with this in my line of work, but I frequently use “Not everybody tells the truth” as a better rule. I can’t recall having a client lie to me, but every day they tell me things that are wrong or untrue because they don’t understand what happened.
When in doubt, do a shit-ton of pain killers and berate people for not having the answer, even though you don’t have it yourself (shift blame/expectation management)
Not enough lupus
It’s never butthole worms.
Remember that one episode where it was actually lupus?
It’s never lupus
Cuddy: You can’t set your patient on fire, House! House: I only need to burn him for a few minutes. It’ll make your ass look thinner. Cuddy: Fine. Just do it while the lawyer is out to lunch.
That’s why it’s such a good show!
I should watch house again.
Butthole worms are verrrrrrrry common.
Also,use a bidet guys.
Are they generally thirsty, too?
unless life gives you chocolate pow-pow, make lemons🤌🏿
It’s great when you watch it off and on but it’s painful binging it.
The series ended 2 seasons before the finale. I cannot be convinced otherwise
