So today I am wearing heels. Not like pumps or anything, just shoes with heels. If anything, they look a bit like pirate shoes with a heel of 3-4 cm. But they make the sound that heels do when you walk in them. And you also have to have a bit of a stride when you walk in order to not look weird.

Anyway, I walked to work today, through the city. When I approached men, they suddenly seemed to drop everything and look around, probably expecting a woman in heels to pass them. But then they saw me. No big deal, right? Honest mistake.

However, some men decided it was necessary to call slurs at me. Gayboy, f*ggot, said I was not a man etc. All for wearing tiny heels. I’m a 185cm long hetero guy, it’s not as if I look defenseless or anything. But they still feel the need to do that. I just yelled back at them to shut the fuck up fucking wankers, and if they have a problem I’ll kick them with my heels on.

But it made me think what non hetero guys or women deal with on a daily basis. Why can’t they act normal?

  • Ratette (she/her)M
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    151 year ago

    New transition goals just dropped: cause a road traffic collision by being that 🔥

    It’s sad and beyond infuriating reading this, I don’t know how you manage to cope with some of this 🫂

    My worst one to date is nowhere near as bad but I meltdown whenever I get toilet policed now because of it.

    “That’s the mens love, where you going?”

    It’s okay honestly…

    “No its not, thats the mens, womens is over there!”

    I know thanks…

    At this point I’m starting to tear up as I’m that embarrassed since the whole pub was looking.

    He realised and then apologised but omg I’ve never felt so humiliated in public.

    Thing is you use the women’s and if they realise you’re trans they will go absolutely spare, but if you use the mens like they apparently want they still stop you and embarrass you in front of whoever is nearby.

    • Seanchaí (she/her)
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      141 year ago

      The sad truth is they don’t want trans people to be in public at all, so they’d rather you didn’t feel comfortable using any bathroom.

      My all-time top transition moment was my da (haven’t spoken in many years) looking right at me from two feet away and not recognising me at all. Got to stroll right by, it was fucking beautiful

      • Ratette (she/her)M
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        81 year ago

        Transition: passed with distinction 💯

        Hopefully I can have a similar experience with old friends I cut out my life for their raging bigotry. That would be nice 😊

    • if you use the mens like they apparently want they still stop you and embarrass you in front of whoever is nearby.

      there’s an even worse possibility when going to a men’s bathroom than just getting embarrassed

      • Ratette (she/her)M
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        71 year ago

        I’m well aware but what am I supposed to do on terf Island? I feel like every trip in public is a tightrope walk of not triggering others because if I make one step out of line I’m getting assaulted.

        • Do you ever fear getting falsely accused of assault? then maybe your case makes it up on the news and your story gets used for anti-trans stuff then it snowballs and suddenly being trans becomes illegal in the uk? small probability of happening but it sometimes scares me

          • Ratette (she/her)M
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            71 year ago

            Accusations of assault or perversion is why i don’t use any bathroom other than men’s. It’s my own safety mechanism so that I have an escape if someone tries to go spare. I only wear androgynous clothing in public as well to avoid abuse atm.

            • Seanchaí (she/her)
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              71 year ago

              Terf island is a special case of fuckery, but honestly the vast majority of people in bathrooms are just looking to take a piss and get out. Cis women use the men’s all the time no problem, honestly it is often the safest choice. The stalls are usually available too, since most men use the urinal.

              Absolutely bullshit how much this whole bathroom thing (pioneered in the 90s by ecofascists by the way) has become such a major talking point. No one ever gave a shit before. The only statistically significant assault that happens in bathrooms is cis women assaulting trans and other cis women in an effort to “prove” they’re trans.

              So yeah, avoiding cis ladies in the washroom looking to leverage their tears as weapons is absolutely the move. Guys like…generally do not give a shit who is in the bathroom, so long as you don’t point it out when they inevitably leave without washing their hands.

              • Ratette (she/her)M
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                11 year ago

                I will continue with my plan then as it sounds like otherwise I’ll get sexually assaulted by a fucking terf!!

            • I only wear androgynous clothing in public as well to avoid abuse atm.

              Same, It’s the reason I don’t go outside often, I don’t feel like “I” is going out

              Also, I just realized that most public bathrooms in Algeria are gender neutral (sort of) because except for schools and maybe some establishments, most public bathrooms I’ve seen are like several (or one) small rooms that connect to what’s outside of the bathroom and have a toilet and a sink. so, it doesn’t need to be gendered.

              • Ratette (she/her)M
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                41 year ago

                That’s really cool that a majority are gender neutral.

                “Don’t feel like “I” is going out.” Ooof I get that vibe.