My mom has been bugging me about this question ever since I started the process of getting on HRT. As a child there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted kids, but in the past few years I’ve been reconsidering a lot.
I finally got my hormones last week, so now the clock is ticking. I’d love other people in my situation’s thoughts on the matter.
Thanks :)

  • Seanchaí (she/her)M
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    32 years ago

    This is a really difficult topic that takes a lot of personal reflection (and will be largely informed by your material conditions, your desire to be a parent, and your urgency to start HRT).

    There are a lot of routes towards becoming a parent, but I’m not interested in discussing the morality or acceptability of desiring a biological child. People do. It happens every day, has been happening since before humans existed. If that is what you want, then that is what you want.

    The questions you need to ask yourself are: can you afford it? Not just the storage, but the process of using the stored materiel later. In vitro is expensive, and it often takes multiple tries.

    If you have the means and choose not to, will you regret it? And will that regret be something you’re unable to overcome?

    Because it is something to consider: would you be fine if you pursued parenthood another direction? Is it being biological important enough to you to go through expensive in vitro attempts? How will you feel if you try multiple times and still don’t succeed?

    How urgently do you need HRT? How close are you to the having kids part of your life? Is putting the HRT off until you’re able to have kids an option for you? Is it possible for you to have a child first and then start HRT?

    If you can’t put off HRT, and if in vitro isn’t in the cards for you or it fails, if you’re not in a position to (emotionally or environmentally) adopt, how will you feel about not being a parent at all?

    Do you have a partner currently (that you want to have kids with) that you can discuss this with?

    No one can really answer these questions for you, but I do think they are all important to contemplate. As a trans person there are often quite large hurdles (in many countries insurmountable) to adoption. That should figure in to your considerations as well. Look into these processes where you are. All of it. There is no such thing as being too informed.