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Yup this is where I got to with them. Either I compromise my values to continue having a relationship or we eventually stop talking entirely as I continue to argue with their bullshit. The arguing doesn’t work, even appeals to emotion didn’t make a difference. I struggled for a long time with how these people who I held in such high regard could fall so far. They are just people at the end of the day and fell for the hateful propaganda on social media.
I don’t feel I’ve given them a pass. I feel like I’ve set boundaries where I can tolerate/ enjoy their presence without being subjected to their hateful or stupid beliefs. It was a difficult decision for me and I seriously considered not having a relationship with them at all for a long time. But I’d miss out on time with my baby nephew, my elderly gran and my siblings who all live near my parents (the main culprits) and I decided that the relationships were more important to me than winning an argument.
To continue your addict analogy, you might agree to hang out with your addict friend on the condition they come sober and don’t take drugs whilst you’re together. Rather than just saying you take drugs so we aren’t friends now.
The world is rarely black and white.