Hey. Sorry for being gone here for a while. I value this community and I’m not trying to show my uglier sides.
I’ve been clubbing. Talking to people. Girls, the mentally ill, homeless, gangsters, rubes, tech bros, artists, businessmen, and…someone really strange.
I’m very involved already. I’m trying to define an autonomous life but this guy has the gravitational pull of the Sun. And not for no reason.
He has very good intentions. Truly. A good heart. He is brilliantly smart. He has magic powers. He helps the homeless. But he’s corruptible. I can already tell the system is going to take his grand utopian ideals and twist them, slowly, or at least try damn hard to.
I want to be his right hand guy. To be the Marxist Leninist in high places. To seize a position from the enemy and turn it against the system. This guy knows people. He knows Obama. He knows leaders in high industries. He’s not some random. I want to infiltrate whatever I can. It’s about time the Beast got twisted back. The time is ripe.
I’m scared, of course. Every bad thought about me is coming to light. I have some tough decisions to make. Crime, and organized crime, is staring at me. Insanity. I didn’t sleep so much that I hit a new level. It’s powerful. Insanity is powerful. My heart is so broken.
The line is a razor’a edge.
I already know what people will say. I already tried to talk about my close ones with it. I already know. It’s so complicated. It’s not as simple as it seems. It really isn’t.
The United States is Hell on Earth. It is the epicenter of evil. Socialism has been destroyed here a dozen times. Socialism has never been achieved in the imperial Western “developed” countries. We all know the MLism is a guideline, not a strict recipe. Every country, every time and place and set of peoples, requires unique circumstances.
The USA will require, naturally according to its position, the most bizarre and unprecedented circumstances socialist history has yet to see.
It may be something we hate that is the key. Something already proven ugly. Gangs, lumpenproles like the homeless, cults, parties, drugs, organized crime, capitalist institutions, fascist fervor, churches, music, celebrities, electoralism, apoliticism, accelerationism, hoteps, consumerism…who knows which of these ugly things may prove necessary.
Did not our heroes do the same, fundamentally?
I’m out here. Seeing the people in these places…it’s something else. I’m not a complete rookie to it but…wow.
I want to relay my experience. Regardless if this experiment ends in failure or success. Regardless of my fears or the historical precedent or the logic or the common sense.
I’m just a pawn.
Also, I’m going to be touring the continental United States and possibly other bits of North America. I don’t know when or how far out. I’ll say again when it’s time. I need money first. But if anybody here wants some human experience…just to hang out and chat or anything else…just let me know. I would love to meet any Lemmygrad comrades, for any reason, just as simple humans.
I don’t know why I’m writing this. Evidently I am still sleep deprived haha. Or maybe I’m just on my shit. This is my shit. It can’t be taken away from me.
I love you all. I wish you the best. We are comrades. We are the pioneer species, the lichens and moss breaking down rocks so that grasses and one day trees may grow on the barren land. Our job is not easy. It is cold and cruel. It is in many ways FEELS against the grain. Against the flow. It really isn’t. I am trying to go with the flow. The flow has never betrayed socialism. I am flushing down my doubts and my inhibitions. It will be necessary. No silk gloves.
I wish you the best. If you want to talk the best way would be my Instagram right now @kigv2. I also have a phone. If you can find the number online you can call or text me anytime ;p
Long live Socialism. Long live Socialism.
Obviously I don’t know the whole story here, but the way you talk about this charismatic guy absolutely SCREAMS strong narcissistic traits. I’m speaking from experience, having met people like this over the years and once or twice being sucked into their orbit because they seemed so “real” about their views. And they nearly destroyed me, bit by bit like a frog in water. People who I had previously thought could have been the leader of a real communist movement. Gaslighting opportunists who “mean well” and “have so much charisma”.
He has very good intentions. Truly. A good heart. He is brilliantly smart. He has magic powers. He helps the homeless. But he’s corruptible.
This line you wrote in particular really hit me hard. Like RUN the f*ck away!
Remember that their “good heart” will most likely not be backed up by good-hearted actions when push comes to shove. Their charisma is the smoke and mirrors which fools everyone until they get too close for too long and get burned. People like this lie so f*ucking well it’s like breathing to them, until you watch them daily for MONTHS you will not pick up their patterns. If he knows Obama then I dated Lenin.
If you strongly disagree with me that is fine of course, but think about this: if they are so smart, well-intentioned, but corruptible then how can you possibly save them when the time comes other than putting them to the wall without a second thought? You can try to convince them, but they will never see it for reality.
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Do I smell some overstimulated norepinephrine/dopamine receptors? :D
Not to dismiss everything you wrote of course, this format of post just seems all to familiar :)
Yes that’s exactly what you smell. Tbh I’m a bit worried for them.
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Because he said he was in the military, that they did something and recieved some sort of crazy high honor and met the president (good news is, when asked he said he “doesn’t care for any of the presidents”), claims he has his number or some shit.
As far the MK shit…this was my exact terror. I deadass stopped him from walking me down a road because I was convinced I was about to get blackbagged. I was deadass prepared to say some shit like “Do whatever you want just don’t hurt my friends or family. I’ll cooperate if you don’t hurt me too.” Seriously. I was that (haha) spooked.
I seriously wonder if he hypnotized me or some shit. Like he would ask me to do simple things and I would but like…everything would shift. It was weird. I feel throbs in my head and then he texts me on the dot asking if I felt it. What the fuck. He’s either really, really good. Or really. Really. Bad. And I’m fucking tripping or some shit. Hard. (That might be true regardless)
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Because he said he was in the military, that they did something and received some sort of crazy high honor and met the president (good news is, when asked he said he “doesn’t care for any of the presidents”), claims he has his number or some shit.
This leaves me with so many questions and virtually no concrete answers. The only thing I believe here is that he was in the military. Everything else… assuming you didn’t obfuscate info yourself for the sake of anonymity, well…
He did something and got an honor. That’s a very vague way to describe something so significant. What did he do to get the honor? When did he do it? Where did he do it? And can the answers he give be verified by our knowledge of US military operations?
I can’t imagine very many honors that would get someone into a conversation with the POTUS. The only one I’m aware of is the Medal of Honor, and that’s quite an exclusive club (only 65 living members atm). I’d really want to press him on the name of the honor and check that. All this info is public and shouldn’t be difficult at all to verify. Also, how old is he/does he appear? Many military honors are awarded years after the event the person is being honored for. For someone being awarded during Obama’s tenure, I’d expect to see someone at least 35-40 years old today.
And he claims that he has Obama’s number? Big deal, so do I. Jokes aside, it’s just a very sus claim. Like… why him? What’s the reasoning behind him, specifically, getting the number? Or does he give out his number to all the honor recipients? “Thanks for serving your country, call me 😘” Has he ever called the number? If yes, when’s the last time he called him? What did they talk about? Also, if he “doesn’t care for any of the presidents”, why is he bragging about having the number for one?
I hope you don’t feel like I’m trying to needle or attack you about this; I’m just trying to approach the situation with a more critical perspective, and I felt like this would be an good example to break down. I’m with the others that are saying he’s demonstrating narcissistic traits. Be skeptical and be careful. I don’t want to see a comrade get hurt or worse by someone that’s only trying to use them.
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If you’re going to be going all over the US, then you ought to write about it. You could chart American conditions much in the same vein Friedrich Engels did in his first book, conditions of the working class in England, or Mao in his writings on socialism in China.
Good luck. Look inside yourself and ask why you have doubts. If you think he is a cult leader unintentionally you must fight against hero worship and make sure that he has a give and take relationship with the people they are working with. If he does not mind at all being a cult leader and has everyone else being a pawn and merely needs his ego stroked, take what you have learned from them and build something useful WITHOUT THEM!
The utility of a charismatic leader in socialism is to find out what the needs of their followers are, voice a solution, then implement the solution, then verify the results of the solution with the people in order to make adjustments to further meet the needs of their followers.
Remember that you need to live to effectively build socialism. You need to be able to make decisions without hiding from inconvenient truths. Being alive and being able to make decisions effectively require that you take care of your physical and mental health. And you seem to be overstimulated in a manner that might make you less effective.
A shepherd may take care of the sheep, and a shepherd leads sheep to their deaths to the benefit of the shepherd.
You have the sense not to say who you are working with but if you use a public profile known to be controlled by our enemy and ask us to communicate over enemy controlled channels that don’t have privacy measures in them. I know that options available like Signal and Matrix don’t go far enough to guarantee privacy, but at least give yourself plausible deniability of what you say. Please don’t make their job of tracking us in order to undermine us easier.
That was weirdly poetic. Good luck!
when we’re trapped in the labyrinth long enough, we may eventually befriend the minotaur.
Hmm, maybe I’m not understanding something, but why do you think he’s a cult leader?
