Real talk. Fuck squirrels. They’re worse than rats in every suburb I’ve ever been to. Fuck up your attic, your wiring, your garbage. Hauling whole ass pizza slices up the tree and REEEEEEEEEE’ing at you like you just called out a bunch of fascist apologists lol.

At least they’re not bad as raccoons. Rabid assholes who make an even worse mess than the squirrels.

Fuck your homies. I am.

Are you a dog? I mean, I know no one on the Internet can tell you’re a dog but I promise your secret is safe with us.

Fucking tree rodents