Squirrel heaven is a college campus.
Though it has stayed empty since the dawn of time, since no squirrel is without sin.
Fuck squirrels. All my homies hate squirrels.
Real talk. Fuck squirrels. They’re worse than rats in every suburb I’ve ever been to. Fuck up your attic, your wiring, your garbage. Hauling whole ass pizza slices up the tree and REEEEEEEEEE’ing at you like you just called out a bunch of fascist apologists lol.
At least they’re not bad as raccoons. Rabid assholes who make an even worse mess than the squirrels.
Fuck your homies. I am.
Are you a dog? I mean, I know no one on the Internet can tell you’re a dog but I promise your secret is safe with us.
Fucking tree rodents
No, see. The squirrels enjoy it like a game. Just like in real life.
Is this on a pair or a cycle base?
Is Squirrel-Heaven Dog-Hell or Nut-Hell? And if it’s Nut-Hell, whats Nut-Heaven and what’s Dog-Hell?
The squirrels are always just out of the dogs reach, pelting the dogs with nuts from the feeders that are always full, and broken so they overfill. The humans, who are all delivery people, yell at the dogs to stop barking, and they have electric collars on too sensitive.
Now I’ve made myself sad.
All Dogs Go to Heaven. Even gangster dogs.
This got me rolling! Coated the birdfeeder roof with olive oil this week and been LMAO watching those fuckers do triple backflips falling off.
I dunno if it’s changed, someone correct me if so, but I remember reading you shouldn’t do that because they can’t get the oil off and it affects them a lot in their daily lives. Mostly makes them easier to kill. But I guess depends on your feelings on squirrels too.
