I don’t need naked women to pop a boner, I only need you bro.
I wonder if it would be kinda demoralizing for a stripper if the dudes stopped watching and kiss each other.
I learned once that if you’re dragged to a strip club, and you spend your time there with your nose in a book on an obscure subject, that you’ll get lots of attention.
It was my bachelor party, and one guy insisted we go to the titty bar. The woman I was going to marry the next day was much better looking than almost all of the women there, and I just felt so out of place and bored that I was reading a book about electric motors and motor controls, which was really interesting to me. One of the women working there spent avout half the time sitting in my lap asking about the subject material, so it wasnt a total loss I supose.
almost all of the women there
Pls tell us about the women that were better looking than your fiance.
IT’S A TRAP! Send no reply.
OP, I found your fiancee/wife!
“What you reading about?”
“Variable frequency drives.”
“Ooh. That sounds hot.”
“Well, not normally, but it’s possible in the case of a poor connection.”
“Well that’s …uh… ironic?”
“Well that’s …uh… ironic?”
“No, it’s usually a bad ground”
The real question is: where did you get that book?
I want to say I picked it up at Borders.
I was at a strip club once for a friend’s bachelor party. This one dancer came out who wasn’t bad-looking or anything, but she had small saggy breasts that were not very attractive. The twenty or so guys who had been clustered around the stage all wandered off, leaving her dancing alone. I felt bad for her and went over and watched and gave her the money I had brought.
No, that’s hot.
Bro I love you bro
Bro you’re the wind beneath my wings.
Bro you’re the ground beneath my feet. You lift me up bro
You’re amazing dawg. I fucking love you dude.
Bro, do you believe in life after love?
Naked women can pop a boner if they want. I don’t mind.
Oh yeah. Absolutely. Boners for everyone. Or boners for no one. That can be just as good, if you don’t like boners. Yes?
🥰
as a bisexual, either, both or none works for me.
Conversation
Bro 1: Did you get a boner? 🤠
Bro 2: Fuck yeah, dude! I was so hard 💪, I was about to cum in my pants 👖👈.
Bro 1: That’s awesome! 🤜🤛
Translation
Bro 1: I am interested in your level of sexual arousal at the bar. Will you please share that information with me?
Bro 2: I am excited to tell you that I was so aroused that my penis was fully erect, I almost felt the immense pleasure of orgasm and soiled my clothes with ejaculate.
Bro 1: Your enthusiastic sexual arousal report makes me happy. Let’s touch hands.
If you had written for the Strange Planet TV Series, it may have been much better.
That already came out? I remember from the first trailer I couldn’t imagine how that would work for even one half hour episode let alone an entire series.
I watched a few minutes and it didn’t work for me.
Can confirm. I touched hands and it made me happy.
Afterward we can give each other brojobs. Don’t worry it’s not gay if you’re thinking about the strippers
It’s just saving money, really
give each other brojobs
I thought that was what you call it when you ask your old college bro Steve to put in a good word for you with his bro Jake the hiring manager at the company you’re applying to.
Could be. Did Steve put Jake’s penis in his mouth (in the straight way)?
Yes
Nah that’s a fratjack
No homo though, bro
you are homo sapien
Noooooooooo broooo
Choo Choo…
I love going to a fancy restaurant and just smelling the food.
I love going to art museums and eating the paintings.
Someone stop this man!
What an expensive habit!
Do you do something different with paintings at home?
at home my art is for looking and and my women is for banging. at the club the women is for looking and my wallet takes the banging.
Have I got news for you about strippers!
They smell bad?
Well, some don’t.
And some of them are willing to negotiate on…
Further interactions.
Years ago I went out drinking with a friend of mine and some other people that I knew less well. Me and my friend and one other guy ended up at my apartment smoking a joint, and I went off to bed but told those two they could hang out in my living room and watch TV until they sobered up. I woke up about an hour later and went out to the living room to see how they were doing. They had put one of my porn videos in the player and were watching it in separate chairs and masturbating.
I don’t get some people, but they obviously both thought there was nothing wrong with this. They both said “what’s up” without taking their eyes off the screen and I just went back to bed.
I kind of feel like they had figured some shit out about life. Like they know what life means.
The last time I went to a strip club was 18 years ago. I would usually go with a group of my coworkers which was a few girls and a few guys. There were two entry options too. The $20 option or the $5 option. The $20 option got you a soda and free refills. And if you paid the $5 option, the bouncers insisted you kept buying sodas or they would throw you out. You could also smoke in the strip clubs then. The strippers weren’t allowed to walk around with cigarettes but they could sit down at your table and smoke and talk with you for a little bit. A city ordinance was passed a few years later that made smoking indoors in city limits illegal. I also passed another law where strippers were not allowed to take off certain types of clothing. I don’t remember what specifically but they pulled it back quite a bit. Anyway, that’s my non-interesting story about strip clubs. If you want to know some more stories, I did see a traveling stripper show. They were twins and they had a routine. I also went to amateur night where anyone that came to the strip club could get up on stage and try to earn some tips and there was one girl that got up there and her mother was there with her and she kept on saying “doesn’t she look great she just had a baby” A couple of the girls I came with got up on stage too. Also got lap dances on two separate occasions. One from Lexus and one from Becky. Not their real names of course. There was also the safari room which was basically just the bed and you would pay a stripper too dry hump you on the bed. I never did that though.
“That’s fucked up, bro. You’re making it sound gay.”
huh, back when I was young, and people would still, occasionally, pester me into going to strip joints with them, we mostly just binge drank, did drugs, and occasionally got some dancers to facilitate more private services.
The people who seemed like they were actually, really, paying attention to the dancers were, well, even more creepy than your average strip club attendee.
Fire boners
This boner’s on fiiiiire
So bright it can burn your eyes
You get them in the champagne room 😉
I had a friend in HS that would just bring out his collection of VHS porn and pop one in when we visited his house. I didn’t visit much.
I bet he thought it made him seem cool and mature or something
I bet his alcoholic dad would just turn porn on when he was in the room and he didn’t understand it wasn’t socially unacceptable.
Yeah bro, lets take her home with us! Bro, I’ll get the front and you get the back! Hey bro, let’s both get the back! I got your back bro!
That’s why I always go alone…
Tuesday afternoon, plastic bottle of vodka, a bag of meth and a strip club. What could be a better mental health day?
im told real pros go wearing sweat pants instead of jeans or slacks for maximum pleasure transfer.
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