Wheeled earthlings are brightly colored, often ornamented as predators, and are clearly capable of killing – but they cannot feed themselves; they rely entirely on bipedal earthlings to suck food from the ground, prepare it, and feed them through tubes.
Also: When a wheeled earthling kills a prey animal such as a deer, bipedal earthlings typically regard that prey animal as cursed and do not eat it, even though it is made of meat. Bipedals only eat prey animals that have been killed by bipedals, whether in the wild or in specialized killing structures.
Even the ones that are based on an electrical metabolism mostly need bipedals to feed them. Although there is some evidence they can feed on their own with an alternative carnivore metabolism, as can be seen in this reputable earthing publication:
https://www.theonion.com/self-driving-tesla-regurgitates-pedestrian-to-feed-offs-1850797094
Ah yes, The Onion. A well known Earthling cooking website. I have tried to ingest an onion once. It was unpleasant.
They are made of meat! They blow air through their vibrating meat tubes to communicate. So gross!
“We’re supposed to talk to meat?”
“That’s the idea. That’s the message they’re sending out by radio. ‘Hello. Anyone out there? Anyone home?’ That sort of thing.”
“They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?”
“Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat.”
“I thought you just told me they used radio.”
“They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat.”
https://www.mit.edu/people/dpolicar/writing/prose/text/thinkingMeat.html
That’s some beezalcraftian horror.
You know when humans do this? waves tentacle wildly
jajajajajajaja
Money
Yes!
You like money too?
Sad they can’t get past that boring old system
ACK ACK ACK ACK, ACK ACK ACK? ACK ACK ACK ACK.
ACK ACK ACK we come in peace ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK.
They wear all of their squishy bits on the OUTSIDE of their skeletons. It’s like they’re asking to get injuries
We all know we’re working towards “crab”. They’re not even close
Earthers had a garden and they paved it.
To put up a parking lot of all things!
Their houses are all wrong. They make 'em weak and they stick out of the landscape like a eyesore. “Oooo, look at me, look at my house” and almost every single human wants a house like that. Houses shouldn’t attract attention. If they do, you’re doing it wrong. Do you think a bird is safer or more exposed with a bright pink nest?
Hobbits, on the other hand, got it right. Sadly they seem to be very rare as I’ve yet to see a real one. I’ve only ever seen humans appropriating their architecture.
The calendar on Earth must be boring. Only one moon!
As a martian, I get all the water I want from fog, but earth seems to like to drown in it. Water is a greenhouse gas people!
Why do they simply not eat the weakest of their young?
They procreate so slowly, they often only have a single child every few years. They can’t really tell which one is the weakest at that rate.
Colonies of humans can have tens of thousands of nests. Just gather all the young from the colony, sort them by age, and have the battle.
They keep trying to go to Mars. There’s a reason I left the place!
Sometimes males of the native species just pee onto the ground, they don’t even try to reclaim and drink it.
Expose themselves to the sun. Like… what?
And they haven’t even figured out how to cure cancer yet!
Aerobic respiration is overrated
