Hey comrades! I’m seanchai (pronounced shawn-a-key, it’s a traditional Irish storyteller).
I’m a thirty year old trans lesbian currently living on Turtle Island. Hope for us to have some great discussions here, but for now here’s a song by one of my favourite artists, Devi McCallion, performing here as Girls Rituals.
We’re all living in a transworld, you can’t do fucking shit about it <3
Forgive me if this question is dumb, but how can I as a cishet man in a correct way ask what gender etc someone prefers (mainly via internet)?
Because I find myself being confused a lot when people describe their trans journey lol.
The best thing to do is to normalize including pronouns in an introduction. Hi, I’m seanchai, my pronouns are she/her. You get used to leading with that, offer your pronouns, and the person you’re talking to will offer theirs as well.
If everyone is doing that, then naturally what happens is people have an easier time not making snap judgments about someone else’s appearances. It’s a fight that we have to have in so many aspects of life, not just gender. Anywhere appearance shapes our opinion before we are informed is something we need to work to address.
One thing that is really neat on hexbear (I don’t use the site but I’ve visited before) is that everyone has pronoun flairs next to their usernames, which prevents this thing that happens (in real life too) where only visibly trans people are asked their pronouns, which singles people out
Makes sense, thanks.
In real life I usually have no problems with this, it’s mostly online. If I read your post and I read trans lesbian my mind goes
while it probably is a very simple description lol
ohhh I see I see. Yeah so the “lesbian” part is entirely unconnected from the “trans” part I think is what got you tripped up. I am a lesbian. I am also trans. Two unrelated adjectives to describe two different queernesses. One is gender (trans woman) and one is sexuality (lesbian). Hope that helps <3
I guess Dank might have been thinking you meant T4T, that would compound the adjectives into a single thing right?
I wouldn’t really say so, t4t is still a sexuality thing, and I personally wouldn’t really use that to describe myself. I don’t date men, trans or otherwise, and I do date cis women, so that’s why I use lesbian.
That being said, t4t relationships can be easier in a lot of ways, where other trans people have similar experiences, and are more likely to understand and be comfortable with you. There’s also less time spent unpacking cisnormativity in t4t relationships, which can take a a lot of extra emotional burden off.
Yeah, I know - I’m t4t and lesbian. Another potential reason (and one that initially informed my position) is that some cis lesbians can be rather terfy. At least, I have encountered quite some >.<
irl, people have asked me “how do you identify?” which is alright with me anyways. I appreciate people who just use neutral terms until they either figure it out or ask.
I work in heavy industry and, unfortunately, there are no other women in my job anyways, so it’s always a barrier. I really appreciate people who make an effort.
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