I’ve been a communist since 2017 or so. I’ve taken personal risks to help Palestine and have followed the genocide very closely. I didn’t vote for Trump or Harris. Throughout Biden’s presidency, I insisted online and offline that he was merely a continuation of Trump’s presidency. I know that Trump’s second stint in the White House is just more of what Biden was doing, but with less of a mask. Liberals, at the same time, are saying that we deserve to suffer and die for not supporting Kamala. Elon’s Nazi salute, along with the fact that it was barely mentioned if at all in the corporate press—meaning that the vast majority of westerners around you are not even aware that it happened—also really just broke something in me. I’m half Jewish, and I’m like, this is the sign that it’s time to go. Jews who support isn’treal have nothing to fear, for the moment, anyway, but communist Jews? Those concentration camps Obama and Trump and Biden built aren’t just for undocumented immigrants. Plenty of American citizens of all colors are going to wind up there, too. The idea seems to be that the ruling class here is finished with immigrant labor and is interested in expanding prison slavery.

I thought I could deal with Trump being in the White House again, that it would just be the same shit, but funnier. I’m not in a terrible financial position and I’m a cis white guy. But it’s been hard for me, like I think about it constantly and have trouble focusing on anything else. I’ve been spending more time here, too, since hexbear really is a refuge from the rest of the internet (I also got xiaohongshu). But I just started applying for jobs in China (after a hiatus of a year or so). I don’t know if I’ll actually end up going since getting the work visa is such a pain (fingerprints + using a courier service to get original important documents back and forth to the Chinese embassy), and I have mixed feelings about leaving too, since not everyone can go, and if I leave, that’s one less person to help fight fascism. I think Lenin said that labor aristocrats are weak, cowardly, unreliable, and that’s me at this point, just whining about the apocalypse (the unveiling). I’ve been wanting to write something like this here for a day or two and just thought I would share to see if anyone else is feeling similarly. Sorry for the long paragraphs but I’m honestly not sure how to break it up. Feel free to criticize me if you want.