So AD/HD definite and autism suspecting here so mileage of this as advice will vary but cause communist I feel I’m in an adversarial relationship with my employer from the get go and at the same time, they can’t know that and I follow my messiahs of lying Plain Simple Garak and Geoge Costanza. I’m an undercover agitator who does a job to keep my cover intact in my brain. But you have to kind of enjoy deception a bit, there are people it’s okay to lie to and I will scratch my boss’a back with a well prepared knife with absolute glee. It’s really fun to flatter and bullshit people for your own ends if you’re doing it morally. Just like it’s okay to steal from a store and not from your friends and the right kleptomaniac can feed a block, you can turn certain social interactions into a deceptive game that would be really mean to do yo your friends, but your boss is your enemy. Tell em whatever they wanna hear and then talk shit behind their backs as soon as you gain any trust. Masking isn’t so bad when you take the right perspective. May not work for everyone but works good for me, I like playing Spy