Yeah, much different headspace for sure. I also know from my personal experience that I didn’t have a single downer dealer that would have taken a barter, they were all hard cash only. I’d assume that it was because another downer addict doesn’t have the energy to sell shit even if it’s a good deal.
My dealers were always pretty close friends/roommates so transactions and loans were handled pretty friendly and within the confines of the honor system. Fuck, the place I used to live at my roommates and I would get stupid amounts of free cradk just because none of us were addicted to it so a dealer could use our house to chop and weigh without a risk of fiends and theft, all 3 of us could blast a boulder or 2, tweak out for a few hours and call it a night which I know isn’t common but the first hit is the only good one, I never saw the point in going out for another bag.
My dealer is literally like family to me. He’s my best friend. When I was thinking of going to rehab he said he wanted to talk about how he could best support me—in other words how we could still be friends without him fucking that up (I don’t believe in cutting people off like that—if I can’t have the willpower, fuck it). He legit loves me.
The last fent dealer I had cut off my ex when I asked him, because he genuinely wanted better for us. There are definitely good dealers out there. Sad he got back on everything and started losing it a bit. I stopped talking to him because he’s on a really destructive path right now, but I genuinely wish him the best. He was also the person that made me realize just how bad my Phenibut addiction was
My ex-friend, the one I’m still torn up over, used to be one of my dealers. They lived far away but I would pick up from them as an excuse to go hang out.
I asked them not to sell (meth) to me anymore because I was trying to quit. But then I gave up again. I asked if I could pick up a dub from them because my main dealer was out and his plug wasn’t getting back to him. They texted back “No you may not.” Another time I went and asked, pleaded for them to sell to me. They said no. When I begged they went like “Let me think about that for a seco—No.” And they continued to persist as time went on, because they’re a “Man of their word” lol.
And a couple years ago, I went to buy heroin for someone, and—they looked like they’d been crying, and they asked me in what sounded like the most pitiful, heartbreaking voice if I was “sure” it wasn’t for me.
I get that, my roommate is an ex coke dealer, and I was one of the only people they’d do coke with because I just don’t get addicted to stimulants (besides the almighty nicotine). I’d actively slow them down, they knew I wasn’t just hanging out for coke. I’d also occasionally buy a little bit off them just to keep the split fair. I would love to just get like a dose or two of a stimulant to fuck with for a bit, just don’t really ever want to pay for it because I don’t care for it more than a casual thing.
Yeah, much different headspace for sure. I also know from my personal experience that I didn’t have a single downer dealer that would have taken a barter, they were all hard cash only. I’d assume that it was because another downer addict doesn’t have the energy to sell shit even if it’s a good deal.
My dealers were always pretty close friends/roommates so transactions and loans were handled pretty friendly and within the confines of the honor system. Fuck, the place I used to live at my roommates and I would get stupid amounts of free cradk just because none of us were addicted to it so a dealer could use our house to chop and weigh without a risk of fiends and theft, all 3 of us could blast a boulder or 2, tweak out for a few hours and call it a night which I know isn’t common but the first hit is the only good one, I never saw the point in going out for another bag.
My dealer is literally like family to me. He’s my best friend. When I was thinking of going to rehab he said he wanted to talk about how he could best support me—in other words how we could still be friends without him fucking that up (I don’t believe in cutting people off like that—if I can’t have the willpower, fuck it). He legit loves me.
The last fent dealer I had cut off my ex when I asked him, because he genuinely wanted better for us. There are definitely good dealers out there. Sad he got back on everything and started losing it a bit. I stopped talking to him because he’s on a really destructive path right now, but I genuinely wish him the best. He was also the person that made me realize just how bad my Phenibut addiction was
My ex-friend, the one I’m still torn up over, used to be one of my dealers. They lived far away but I would pick up from them as an excuse to go hang out.
I asked them not to sell (meth) to me anymore because I was trying to quit. But then I gave up again. I asked if I could pick up a dub from them because my main dealer was out and his plug wasn’t getting back to him. They texted back “No you may not.” Another time I went and asked, pleaded for them to sell to me. They said no. When I begged they went like “Let me think about that for a seco—No.” And they continued to persist as time went on, because they’re a “Man of their word” lol.
And a couple years ago, I went to buy heroin for someone, and—they looked like they’d been crying, and they asked me in what sounded like the most pitiful, heartbreaking voice if I was “sure” it wasn’t for me.
I get that, my roommate is an ex coke dealer, and I was one of the only people they’d do coke with because I just don’t get addicted to stimulants (besides the almighty nicotine). I’d actively slow them down, they knew I wasn’t just hanging out for coke. I’d also occasionally buy a little bit off them just to keep the split fair. I would love to just get like a dose or two of a stimulant to fuck with for a bit, just don’t really ever want to pay for it because I don’t care for it more than a casual thing.