1. A pallet of tissues for when their spouse and entire family disowns them.

2. A good lawyer to defend them when they lash out and commit various crimes.

3. A little American flag to wave patriotically as they destroy this country.

4. A wheelbarrow to carry all of your cash to the grocery store as inflation is about to explode.

5. Solar panels, compost pile, and an outhouse because basic infrastructure like electricity, plumbing, and waste removal are at risk of budget cuts and mismanagement.

6. A tutor for the children as education is getting deep cuts soon.

7. A good therapist to help work through all of that cognitive dissonance.

8. A bicycle as the price of gas will skyrocket.

9. A standard dictionary as basic terms and concepts elude them.

10. A back brace as you’re going to have to pick your own crops from now on.

1. adjudicated rape
2. 36 felonies
3. orange spray tan
4. the world’s worst combover
5. a small $1,000,000 loan in the 70’s from your dad but also being made head of a major real estate company that your father owned and also other multimillion dollar loans that were never paid back in the 80’s and having daddy cosign/guarantee 70 million dollar projects you were a part of.
6. all the bankruptcies
7. racism
8. misogyny
9. lies
10. alternative facts about the climate change hoax

1. Hat
2. Extremely dubious nutrition supplement
3. Car dealership
4. Kid who doesn’t talk to you anymore
5. Gen ai program
6. Cybertruck
7. $10,000 subscription to a seminar that tells you to buy more overpriced bullshit
8. 10,000 DOGE subscription to a seminar that tells you to buy more overpriced bullshit
9. X premium subscription
10. Gun

deleted by creator

1. Ignorance
2. Easily Swayed
3. Rabid Consumerism
4. Opposition to Change
5. Mastery of Half Truths
6. No Value in Proven Facts
7. Politicization of Everything
8. Pre Civil Rights Era Fanatic
9. Absence of Follow Through
10. Illogical Conspiracy Theorys

1. Deport illegals

2. Protective tariffs

3. Not demolish the second amendment

4. Absolutely stupid culture war stuff

5. Making NATO countries meet their obligations

6. Pull out the middle east

7. Hopefully drain the swamp

8. Help keep food on the table

9. Help keep the agencies in check. Like Fema.

10. Be populist as hell