Things I learned as a child that probably no one intended to teach me

• To grown-ups, being bad at stuff is a sin. Forgetting stuff is the worst sin of all, and also doesn’t exist - it is widely believed (and your behaviour will be interpreted thusly) that in some Freudian sense, it is impossible to forget things it you care about them or their consequences or the people who care about those things.
• Your being happy and enjoying what you do doesn’t matter. All that matters is whether you are Fulfilling Your Potential.
• Human beings do not require rest outside of sleep. Thinking that you do is called “being lazy’.
• Who you show physical affection to is a matter of politeness and social protocol, and has nothing to do with your own desires
• It is rude to inform people of your preferences, even if they seem to care about catering to them and therefore might find this useful information.
• Etiquette centres around doing things in especially awkward, skilful and time-constumning ways in order to demonstrate superiority over people who aren’t able to keep up.