• AddLemmus
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    49
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    1 day ago

    “Being bad at stuff” is also so selective. The other kids are not expected to be two years ahead in math, but I am expected to be able to sit perfectly still for 4 hours and pay attention in an oxygen depleted room. Everybody has to have this nearly exact same skillset.

    It’s not what society needs, not even what the industry needs in the workforce, but that is most convenient for the teachers.

    • oldfart@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      9 hours ago

      That low oxygen training will come handy when you work on a spaceship or a submarine. Training the spacemen of tomorrow!

    • OlPatchy2Eyes@slrpnk.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      9 hours ago

      In fact, your being two years ahead in math makes your inability to sit still all the more disappointing. See above the lesson on Fulfilling Your Potential.

    • ProfessorOwl_PhD [any]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      14
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 day ago

      that is most convenient for the teachers

      Nope, also extremely inconvenient to them. It’s only actually convenient for a small selection of neurotypicals with ideal or near ideal home lives/parent involvement, while nearly every other kid benefits from basic adhd accomodations like fidget toys or being allowed to sit/lie wherever to do their work. We haven’t made any significant progress on teaching since the victorian era.

  • 0ops@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    41
    ·
    1 day ago

    I remember when I was really, really young I hadn’t figured out all the nuanced definitions of the word “bad”. At some point (I think it was in Sunday school) I told an adult that I put cereal in the fridge once. They said that was bad. So then I was all like “fuck, I guess I’m going to hell”

  • NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    38
    arrow-down
    5
    ·
    2 days ago

    When you’re a kid, adults use the most specious reasoning to try to make you behave properly, and then when you’re the adult you do too.

    • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      8 hours ago

      Nah, kids deserve more credit than that. I’m honest with kids (to an age-appropriate level) because it’s vital that they develop critical thinking skills. Considering the world they’re growing up into, they’re going to need all the training they can get to become able to discern fact from fiction.

      I give kids legit reasons. I explore their “Why” questions. Then when I don’t know the answer, I’ll be honest but supportive, “I don’t know, but let’s find out.” We have to model what being a rational adult is like, and how we come to logical conclusions. Children aren’t going to learn this stuff from being brushed off or told some silly explanation.

      That being said, it’s important to be smart about context. It’s reasonable and responsible to disengage from the conversation if someone demonstrates that they aren’t arguing in good faith, whether they’re an adult or a child. The problem is, a lot of adults jump to whatever explanation makes their own life easier, without any regard to how their response can shape the future adult they’re speaking with. If you’re truly concerned about kids’ futures, you have to acknowledge that there is a lot you know that kids don’t know yet. Offer them the benefit of the doubt and seize these opportunities to teach kids how to think for themselves.

    • Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      30
      arrow-down
      8
      ·
      2 days ago

      The fuck I do. That sounds like you’re just rationalizing your behavior.

      By those terms, guess I’ll have to consider that I am not an adult, despite being an Oregon Trail millennial.

    • biscuitswalrus@aussie.zone
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      15
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 days ago

      This is more autism than adhd and it’s a huge value of autistic people to reflect a “normal” attitude as absurdity.

      • OtherPetard@feddit.nl
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        11 hours ago

        Undiagnosed autism here with suspected ADHD, I feel called out by this entire list, and much of that is because I/we have had to figure it all out by ourselves.

        Turns out I’m so good at masking I forget to admit to myself I’m not feeling well…

  • Eyck_of_denesle@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    35
    arrow-down
    7
    ·
    2 days ago

    Etiquette one I don’t agree. It’s just being respectful and mindful. You will acknowledge it once you see the absolute lack of it.

    • LwL@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      13
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 day ago

      Really depends on what part of it. There are things like offering your bus seat to someone who needs it, or waiting for people to exit before you enter. Those indeed make sense.

      And then there’s what the other commenters pointed out, arbitrary rules about what cutlery to use and in which hand and such.

    • Apytele@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      55
      ·
      2 days ago

      One of the things my parents did understand correctly as “new money” is that a significant portion of piddling etiquette rules about what color to wear at what times of the year and which fork goes on the left were largely ways for the bourgeoisie to attempt to maintain their advanced standing against the increases in (the potential for) equality that capitalism initially brought about. Unfortunately my parents are also a very “well we got ours so everyone else must be lazy” type of people who think that’s as good as equality can or should get.

    • apotheotic (she/her)@beehaw.org
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      34
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 days ago

      Except etiquette extends beyond just “common social etiquette”. Using a knife and fork the “correct way” is etiquette. Eating soup by scooping the spoon away from oneself is etiquette. Placing your cutlery the correct way on the dish when you’re finished is etiquette and varies wildly by country. These are just examples of dining etiquette, there’s much more. Its all bullshit and I agree it should boil down to being respectful and mindful, but depending who raised you it may happen that you get reprimanded and punished for not following very arbitrary rules.

    • LANIK2000@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      19
      ·
      2 days ago

      Considering every culture has completely different etiquette, I’d argue otherwise. We’re talking drinking from bowls vs talking during a meal style stuff. I’ll hold my fork with the right hand and knife in left, despite being right handed and no etiquette freak can stop me!

      • threeganzi@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        11
        ·
        1 day ago

        Yeah, if anyone is bothered by which hand I hold my fork in, I’d say they should see a therapist and work it out on their end.

    • 7bicycles [he/him]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      24
      ·
      2 days ago

      I don’t think this means “Etiquette (please and thank you)”, I think this means “Etiquette (look at this rube using his crab fork to grab pasta, what a yokel)”

      • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        18
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        2 days ago

        Even cursive writing was not designed to be faster like my teacher said, it was to weed out the yokels from the gentlemen. A Thomas Jefferson-style hand, full of curlicues and serifs and f/s-es (i.e.“difcufsion” for discussion) could be read or written by a person whose wealth enabled their education, but not by someone whose literacy was achieved by reading the family Bible and local newspaper.

    • Draedron@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      5
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      1 day ago

      Why the fuck does it matter how I hold my forkor what spoon I eat soup with? Why does it matter where my ellbows are?

    • hedgehogging_the_bed@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      15
      ·
      2 days ago

      A lot of these I remember learning from teachers rather than my parents. Also reinforced by other kids, assorted relatives, etc. Even good parents can’t protect you from the rest of society.