By Asher Perlman
Disturbingly accurate. I ain’t out doing midlife crisis shit because I suddenly stared into the abyss at my own mortality. It’s because I can afford everything I’ve always wanted to do.
Yes, how do people not get this? It’s super simple
They can’t afford to do the same.
I cannot afford it but I completely understand the situation. I’ve been unhappy with everything in my life since I started working 20 years ago. I’m not living paycheck to paycheck anymore but I cannot afford anything because as soon as I have some money there’s some fucking emergency happening. Roof on fire, car accident, heating pipes explosion, electric connection on fire, bike stolen… it’s like clockwork: I save some money, something happens.
He’s saying why don’t people understand this.
A lot of younger people think it’s because older people are trying to look cool or recapture their youth. I think that’s because of years of sitcom jokes and commercials. I’m just out here trying to have a good time and I hope everyone else gets that opportunity as well.
People who think in memes seem to map everything they see onto one. I think it’s just automatic. They also don’t know what objectivity is, so if you criticize that mentality they assume you’re only defending a particular stereotype you personally fit. Now that I think of it, this level of brain function is so common it actually kind of explains how Americans just elected a convicted criminal for President.
Yup. I’m still living paycheque to paycheque.
I’m at a prime age for “midlife crisis” I just need my finances to agree that I can have.
Got a new job last winter, I’ve gotten two raises since. Maybe I’m moving in the right direction? I hope so. (I’m a bit less than 5% above where I started after 11 months)
I like the new job too. So IDK.
“Due to current economic conditions, midlife crises will be late-life crises until further notice. We apologize for any inconvenience.”
Funny thing, when I was due for a midlife crisis I got a Nissan Leaf. Still loving it!
Kangoo gang checking in!
Woah, are those real? They are awesome. The bouncy shoes we had when I was a kid had ridiculous ineffective springs on them, no more functional than the propeller on a beanie copter.
When I was like three I watched the property maintenance dude plowing snow on our building’s front yard with a pickup truck and I thought that not only was it the coolest job in the world, but oh, how badly I wanted a truck like that too.
Fastforward 30 years and there I’m staring at one in the used cars parking lot at the local dealership realising it’s what I’ve always wanted and I can actually afford it too. Now I get to stare at it every single day because it’s mine. I even ended up starting my own business later so now it’s not only fun to drive and beatiful to look at but also useful.
Start doing triathlons, show your mortality who the boss is!
I sure hope someone with “drunk” in their name isn’t going out and buying a motorcycle as a midlife crisis.
Maybe go on an uber kick. Just take uber everywhere. Or hire a personal driver. The important thing here is if you fall asleep, you’re not also in control of a several ton killing machine that can affect the lives of innocent civilians at 2pm.
…maybe buy a blender!
I’ve ridden motorcycles since before I could legally drive. I can be a drunk and I can ride, I just can’t do both at the same time. I don’t get on one if I’ve had anything to drink.
I’m a drunk, not a moron.
Man this would be me if I could afford both booze and a bike. I guess the health side effects of not drinking to safe money are nice though!
Hey, that’s me. More or less.
I have been living paycheck to paycheck for about two decades but things changed during the pandemic. I got a substantial raise, stopped smoking, and kept the same micro apartment in a high rise for years. I also live alone, refuse to pay for a car, and don’t have any children.
So I was able to put some money aside in the last years and now, I take extended vacations (I took 8 weeks this year), I travel, and treat myself with what I want.
My sister wonders how I can afford to take that much time off work to go to different countries and think that I just recently found interest in traveling but really, it’s just because I can afford it now.
Not smoking will save you a lot of money!
I thought so too, then I discovered lego
With enough of them, you can build your own house, though. You’d be stupid not to buy as many as possible. That’s just good, common-sense investing.
I switched brands at the beginning of the week. It’s going to save me $1300 a year. Now imagine if I quit… Nah.
I think vaping is a good path to get around nicotine cravings.
It’s not the nicotine. I swear. I can vape 0% nicotine and it’s the same as nicotine vapes. It gives me about a quarter of the comfort and anxiety reduction of a cigarette. Addiction to cigarettes is about the ritual and the motions of smoking. Nicotine is overplayed.
I don’t think nicotine is overplayed, I think that is a sliding scale on how it affects you.
To be fair, I feel exactly like you. I quit smoking a couple of years ago. It was never the nicotine for me. It was the breaks, the ritual, and something to do with my hands. The more anxiety I felt, the more ritual I’d use. So if I just wanted a break I’d light up and smoke. But if shit went down I’d light up with a match and be very deliberate with my inhaling and breathing.
I still miss it. I wish I had something half as calming to replace it. But I still think a lot of folks have a serious issue with physical addiction to nicotine.
People say vaping doesn’t hit as much as cigs (even with nicotine), so they do half and half and wean down until vaping is enough. So with respect to nicotine it’s the long term biological addiction.
I can imagine.
You should too. You can do it, I believe in you.
Thanks buddy. I have quit twice, once for over a year. Both times by using vapes. Then shit goes to hell in my life and I pick it back up.
I hear that. It’s insidious how it whispers back at you when shit hits the fan, even if you haven’t thought about it in months.
That is great to hear! Good job on quitting smoking and building up some money!
I had a classmate who stopped smoking. He said he took the first chunk of savings and spent it on a fancy stereo, so it would constantly remind him how much smoking cost.
Triumph Rocket 3, 2.3L three cylinder engine
A freaking beast
Heavy as shit though
Still does 0-60 in under 3 seconds, for reference my GSXS-1000 is about 200lbs lighter and is a tiny bit slower!
Almost 180 hp is still A LOT for its weight.
And loud.
They’re not that much louder than your average Harley tbf, at least here in Europe; they probably have to adhere to noise emission standards over here.
But Harleys are already really fucking loud. Legal road vehicles without specialized function shouldn’t be that loud IMO.
I agree, although I’m one of those annoying people that likes big, loud, wide motorcycles; Harleys especially (apart from those shitty touring models with the built-in radios).
Sure I get it, making noise tends to be fun when you’re the noisemaker - personally I like loud music and I’m not the kind of person who goes to sleep early. But it’s the same as with anything else, you need to be considerate of other people.
No, I fully agree with you. I both live near a main road and in a small village full of inconsiderate people that listen to loud music all night long. I know how annoying that is.
I love music and like to listen to it rather loudly but I tend to use headphones after 8 PM for that exact reason.
Harley are loud too.
Harley is shit quality though, so often it doesn’t make any noise at all.
Probably even heavier, depending on your diet.
Wow that thing is fucking awesome. I’ve never seen a bike like that. I wouldn’t trust myself on it. I’m not a rider anyway.
I would love to ride one to try it but considering it’s no better on gas than my car I wouldn’t want to own it!
That’s…sad in a different way.
That’s the capitalist Earth we live on
I think this is always the case. Buying cool shit usually costs a bunch of money. And people who get a shitload of it while young, often buy that stuff too - nobody calls them out for having a midlife crisis then
“Billy…why did you buy four lifesize 6 foot tall statues of the teenage mutant ninja turtles???”
“Because my parents have a lack of discipline towards their children, and an infinate source of currency”
"Infenete! You hear it!’ William flipped off the closed door of a liquor store and brought himself up from the ground.
Hey who’s to say no if a bike makes you happy
And even if not, I’d rather be miserable on a cool bike.
To be fair it’s pretty hard to be miserable on a cool bike.
The DMV.
Your neighbors, if they had a say.
Our next door neighbor when I was a kid would sit on his Harley in his driveway and would either let it loudly idle or start revving it. Sometimes for hours.
Probably one of the reasons I do not care for motorcycles.
Why would they care?
Same reason why neighbors don’t like hearing their neighbor’s loud music at 2am.
lol
I dont see how that’s related bikes don’t keep you up at 2am.
Other people biking makes me happy because it pollutes less.
I got a used motorcycle semi-recently because I was a bit bored and unsatisfied with my life, and I had a bit of money from internships. I’m a college student. Guess I’ve hit an early midlife crisis, huh.
Guess I’ve hit an early midlife crisis, huh.
Either that or it’s right on time…
Quarter life crises tend to be even worse 😭. Those I know
No no no you must buy a brand new gold wing or harley or you are not “rebel” enough.
Sheesh, the younger generation doesn’t understand anything.
The next step of the crisis (if it continues) is probably a Harley… I’m already thrifting leather jackets to look cooler and be more confident…
We’re not in Fuck Cars, right?.. Okay.
I bought my first new car in 1999. A friend of mine commented that she had no idea what I was going to do for a midlife crisis car. I figured I’d keep it 10 years, then move on.
But here I am, approaching half a century old, and I’m still happy with my car and have zero plans to get rid of it, ever (it’s not a daily driver, so it doesn’t accumulate that many miles - we usually drive my wife’s car for most errands and driving to work).
I am drooling over a new bicycle though…
can’t wait to be able to relate
Gonna take longer now.
Moto looks afraid of what’s coming
