Ok but if you see sliced croissant loaf, fucking buy that shit, buy two, immediately. I don’t even like to shop any more at places where they don’t sell it.
disgusted French look of superiority
jkjk it looks like something terrible in a good way.
Cause it’s probably 3/4 butter.
Count me in.
The only issue I see with it is that since it’s wrapped in plastic it’s gonna be soft and rubbery instead of crunchy.
it’s gonna be soft and rubbery instead of crunchy
I don’t think croissants are supposed to be rubbery or crunchy, are they? “Flakey” is probably what you want.
Yeah flakey would be a better term altthough I’d still put it in the crunchy umbrella. Like flakey means the exterior is kinda crunchy.
Otoh don’t take me too seriously I like to dunk them in coffee or milk :p
Je suis venu faire mon français outré mais oublions OP deux minutes ? Qu’est-ce que c’est que ça ???!
C’est juste un gros croissant shapé comme une miche de pain
Tu penses qu’on peut faire tourbillonner correctement le feuilletage en maintenant ce genre de forme ?
Bonne question… Je suis curieux maintenant, je vais aller m’instruire!
Does this come in unsliced? Because cut that suckers down the middle perpendicular to the chopping board and you could make a giant toasted ham & cheese croissant slab
Mind blown!
I’m just laughing at “bread” and “proof” but I know they didn’t intend on the pun.
No bun intended…
To be fair, the quality of the bread in these mass produced “artisan bakery” sections can be trash tier, like sometimes it’s wonder bread level but even more dry. Idk why they decide to do it. Maybe it was fresh at one point but these displays can get left out all week.
Source: an NPC who sometimes buys this crap to try it.
Yeah a d by the time you are spending that kind of money on bread, either get it from an actual bakery or make it yourself.
I used to buy this kind of bread before I started making my own sourdough, but it just doesn’t compare to fresh out of the oven. It’s more or less equivalent to my own bread after a week when I have to start toasting it.
Our local chain, Hannaford, has pretty good stuff actually. Their cakes and pastries are good too. Walmart bakery is trash, but it’s Walmart. They do pizza rolls 👌
I love these big crazy breads. They’re great on their own and I sometimes make massive dagwood sandwiches with them and slice them up
I think you just do too much drugs.
Most reasonable Americans, and the larger worldwide Culinary Arts groups would prefer to wait a day and get them on sale so we can make fresh croutons; if you ever wonder why there’s a discount rack that’s always near empty in your local bakery, it’s probably someone buying out the day old lot for the afforementioned croutons or something like crostini for some kind of appetizer dish.
I was always taught to do this with bread crumbs as well, throw it in the oven to dry it out and smashhhhhh.
So many people taking this seriously, kek.
In all my years I’ve never walked into a friends home and been offered a baguette or a fresh slice of focaccia.
Well then your friends suck
I buy baguettes roughly twice a week. They are amazing with oil and vinegar.
This is 4chan, though… I’m not shocked an incel would think this.
…and roasted garlic, pesto, and…
Yeah, my second to oldest daughter was visiting the other day and I offered her fresh sourdough toast and filtered chilled water, felt kind of funny like “here’s your bread and water” but it is a delicious snack.
Sourdough is sold in stores here, a loaf from Whole Foods was the reason I started baking again, that bread was so good but mine now is often even better. So maybe there is a big overlap between people who like fancy bread and people who make it? But even so - if you are making a soup and want bread with it, nobody is buying sliced white industrial sandwich bread for that, and I will occasionally ask my husband to pick up “fancy white bread - from the bakery section not the aisles.”
Agreed! I had a get together with a friend on Friday, and among our many wonderful snacks was a loaf of picante cheese bread from the bougie bakery owned by our employer. That shit slaps, and people deserve to experience the carb-rich glory.
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“Hey, man! Glad you could make it! Can I get you anything? Some chips, some pretzels, an entire baguette, maybe some iced tea or something?”
Goat cheese and baguette is top tier snack. Y’all don’t know how to live
you can cut them you know?
That breaks the simulation.
“Hey, I just baked an entire loaf of bread, you interested?”
I mean… Yes. Yyes please
“Shit, man, shit shit shit.”
“Steve man. Calm the fuck down. What’s wrong?”
“It’s a customer, man.”
“Please tell me they didn’t take an orange from the bottom of the stack again.”
“No, no. Worse. So much worse. He’s buying the boule.”
“Ha. You had me worried for a minute. Nobody buys the boule. You misheard.”
“No, man, I’m telling you. He asked where it was. I made him repeat the question. He said again he wanted the ‘sourdough boule.’ He’s got it in his cart now.”
“…You’re serious.”
“Yes, man. He’s about to fucking buy the boule.”
“Shit, man. What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know. I- I don’t know. This has never happened before.”
“We have to alert them.”
“Them?”
“You know, them.”
“Wh- you mean the simulation people?”
“You got a better idea?”
“Yeah, maybe drinking bleach. Not to mention we have no way to con-”
“H-hello? Um… Sim- simulation people? Um-”
“What the fuck are you doing, Ted? You fucking dipshi-”
“Yes?”
“…”
“…”
“Steve… you… you heard that, ri-”
“I don’t have all day. What is it?”
“Shit, um.”
“Yes sir, um, Mister Simulator sir, I-”
“Missus.”
“Oh, um, sorry, the voice is just kindof… tinny an-”
“Look, we’ve got a problem. It’s one of the… simulated.”
“Mmm hmm?”
“He’s on his way to the checkout now.”
“And?”
“He’s buying the boule.”
“Mmm. Right. Thank you for alerting me. This anomaly will be dealt with.”
“Oh. Um. O…kay. Um. Thank yo-”
“Wait, how exactly will it be deal-”
This reads like They’re Made Out of Meat. It’s brilliant.
Thanks for the recommendation! Here’s the short story mentioned if anyone else wants a read: https://www.mit.edu/people/dpolicar/writing/prose/text/thinkingMeat.html
That was a fun read! Thanks for that
This American Life had H Jon Benjamin perform this, episode 803.
That sounds amazing
And a short film based on the story.
This is WBRC’s 9 o’clock news, I’m Ned Albertson.
Panic ensued today at a local supermarket, as a man got vaporised in the produce aisle. Warning, the following images are not for the faint of heart. Evan Kelp is reporting live from the scene.
idk man, seems like an american problem to me.
Are you watching their politics? This can’t be real, the writers are all over the top. The whole country is a simulation.
I get some things when I scroll through c/all, that’s way then enough for me. I have no idea how the presidential race can even be remotely close. That being said I’m afraid that this behaviour and talking points are coming more and more to us. Some politicians of a conservative party here met several times with republicans and brought some “bright” ideas over here. Guess I’ll do the Robinson Crusoe some time and just move to a small island so I don’t have to deal with all this nonsensical shit fest.
How we wish.
“we” as in the countries affected by their foreign policy?
That too.
Clinical insanity, that’s what it is.
Sheltered American…they can’t keep the bread on the shelves where I’m at
I often buy these. But, I always take care noone sees me buying them.
I buy those baguettes and it would be lucky to make it home so I always buy two.
Mmmm especially when they are still warm.
boule shamed into a doughy closet
This is the way. Don’t let OP know about us.
r/ShitAmericansSay
thought the same fucking thing. like, “ok then. go buy some more white wonder bread, ya basic removed”
Also their horrible sweet ass HFCS bread they think is normal
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Trailer people, really.
So you think you’ve found the hole of simulation and don’t even try to buy some to see if it is really a decoration? WTF bro
Omfg is this a marketing stunt by the baked goods industry to sell more bread?
I wouldn’t be surprised. All these chains are owned by Mega-corp, so they profit no matter what store you go to.
This is what Lemmy has become. hailcorporate
You can’t even interact with these objects. You click ‘e’ and nothing happens. I tried, I tried.
Well, I surely tried to turn around fast enough to see wether there was sth. Behind me or not -when I was 14.
This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back.
You take the normal bread – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.
You take the fancy bread – you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember, all I’m offering is the truth – nothing more.”
“Wait… did you just eat both loaves at once??!”
I m French and in France we buy EVERY bread in a bakery .for real after 5pm you have basically nothing .
I’m American (California) and the local bakery sells out daily too
That’s because we don’t put it in plastic. Who wants to buy soft (and apparently underbaked) bread? Apart from US people, I mean.
The French sure do love their
Sauf le pain aux raisins parce que c’est une abomination
Based on a year of French I took in middle school - you put raisins in bread?! Like sure, we have the dessert loaves of cinnamon raisin bread, but this is America - I thought y’all generally had better taste than us? Raisins in bread is an abomination.
Finally someone had the guts to say it. Seulement les psychopaths achète ça.
Et la chocolatine parce que ça n’existe pas
France has laws against throwing away food which makes them plan better. In Germany, the shelfs are full till the end so customers can choose. I think this is changing too but I’m not often in bakeries that late.
Same here, swiss.
