• zod000
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      1 个月前

      It would go excellent with his salads he loves so much.

  • Jayjader@jlai.lu
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    1 个月前

    Personally, I’d love to learn enough of the latin he spoke to be able to present him with a bottle of Cesar salad dressing and then tell him how many millions of people think of it when they hear his name.

  • ComradeSharkfucker
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    1 个月前

    I’d give the people of hispaniola a few modern guns and ammunition around 1491 as well as a description of christopher columbus, his ships, and weaponry with full detail of what will happen if a single spaniard escapes.

    • Wogi@lemmy.world
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      1 个月前

      Fun fact, part of the reason no other expedition to the new world had been successful before was because the few that showed up were likely slaughtered before they could escape. The mainland was pretty hostile to newcomers.

      It’s also possible they felt this way because it was the Vikings who kept showing up.

    • Obi@sopuli.xyz
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      1 个月前

      I mean that sounds great and all but what are the chances some other explorers find it and the same shit goes down basically the same way?

  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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    1 个月前

    Oh I’d just serve him a beverage consisting of vodka, tomato juice, clam juice, and hot sauce. After explaining the three ingredients he has no access to I’d tell him the name of the beverage before saying that he’ll kinda have it coming

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        1 个月前

        Wait what‽ Also didn’t know celery was in it. I’ve never actually had one of them, though I’d love to try, especially with something like a Parmesan vodka.

        • Wogi@lemmy.world
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          1 个月前

          It’s usually got a celery stick in it.

          It’s basically a bloody Mary, you’ll either like them both or hate them both.

            • Wogi@lemmy.world
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              1 个月前

              Like most of the plants we eat today, 2000 years ago celery kinda just looked like a weed. In this case, parsley, which is what it’s named after. It was used medicinally in certain areas but it was never cultivated in any wide scale.

              Then in France they decided it smelled really good and would be good in food. And because it was a removed to grow the royalty took a liking to it. And after a few generations of selective breeding modern celery was born.

  • stupidcasey@lemmy.world
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    Turns out he’s allergic to oranges dies you take his place to preserve the time line but forgot he gets stabbed 23 times the next day.

      • Enkrod@feddit.org
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        1 个月前

        Get your hands on some german Fanta. It’s the good slightly less shitty stuff.

        The color difference alone says it all:

        image of US vs German Fanta

        • desktop_user@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          1 个月前

          gross, fanta is supposed to be orange, not yellow. Who thought making a drink taste like a plant was a good idea, drinks are supposed to taste like chemicals and colors.

        • shneancy@lemmy.world
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          i’m European too, i don’t think it having probably 10%? of actual orange juice makes it much better tbh

    • P00ptart@lemmy.world
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      Yeah, but they’re not mad at you. You’re a different person. If you give grandiose claims, you can make it another 6 months, even if you don’t fulfill any promises. It’ll give you time to dip out or conquer the Gauls.

    • Zement@feddit.nl
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      1 个月前

      Imagine the Europeans met a significantly further developed native civilisation … Like steam engine level. That would have been interesting.

      • lugal@lemmy.world
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        1 个月前

        The Europeans didn’t have the man power to defeat the Aztec Empire that fast but as an empire, the Aztecs made enemies and all these enemies united with the Europeans to defeat their common enemy, not knowing what would come next. Similar stories in north America with some first nations allying with the Europeans against their old enemies.

    • superkret@feddit.org
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      The natives knew that.
      But there was basically nothing they could do. The pox depopulated the continent so fast that the white colonists often encountered only remnants of destroyed civilizations wherever they arrived.

      • Redroof!9@lemmy.world
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        Oh yh but this would be an interesting outcome without the Central powers losing the treaty of Versailles wouldn’t have been signed that means Hitler wouldn’t have as much support (the ottoman empire would up the same we were already dieing, bit this time entand won’t be involved)

        • ℍ𝕂-𝟞𝟝@sopuli.xyz
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          1 个月前

          The Austro-Hungarian Empire would not have split and the US would never have gotten the postwar economic boost that made it a great power. The Cold War would have been tripolar, with Germany dominating Europe and probably the world.

      • ✺roguetrick✺@lemmy.world
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        The Ottomans would turn around and kick Austria’s ass after they were done with Russia though. It’d end up being a more protracted affair when the Sublime Porte gets it’s revenge.

    • afox@lemmy.world
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      Had one for the first time since I was like… 14? I’m 41. Drank it down. Started great. I’ve never felt so sick after something. Apparently I’m too old for this. I miss being a kid.

  • Gork@lemm.ee
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    1 个月前

    You fool, now he will want more! And if you don’t get him his sugary fix, it won’t be a Fantastic day for you.