her, expolde

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  • Wendy_Pleakley [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    2·
    2 months ago

    I mean, not with this.

    I can ask someone to move their car if it’s blocking me in. I can ask someone how they are. I can ask someone if something they said is really true.

    But, like, what I need from other people? I don’t know what I need from other people. People aren’t consistent, so how does one depend on them? How can you establish needs when the people you need ghost you or misunderstand you?

    spoiler

    Asking someone, “Can you help me navigate my gender dysphoria?” or “Can you always reassure me and I always reassure you?” or “Can you be my Gender Friend?” feels different than that, though. Maybe it’s the neurodivergence but I’m really caught up over at what point I’m burdening others by simply recounting things that have happened. I get so many mixed messages everywhere I go and nobody actively encourages me to speak my mind.

    So I stay quiet. It feels like I’d only be speaking up to say “I’m queer and you need to stop not texting me”, because that’s what I’d be doing. I don’t know how to give myself that, or if that’s anything to want at all.

    I’m not trying to defend my thoughts, I’m trying to understand why I keep hitting dead ends. Idk I know I’m a mess

    • ashinadash [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      2·
      2 months ago

      I mean, you gotta find decent people first. If I knew how to get decent people reliably I’d have a lot less trouble.

      ohh, I see

      Forgive me my misunderstanding of you earlier, this makes sense now.

      I think those are valid questions to ask, honestly. I wanna live in a world where asking someone for gender related help and stuff is totally normal. The mega is absolutely geared for that. I don’t think what you describe would be burdensome to anyone, and imo it’s on them to say so if it is. I think the whole “being a burden” framing is wrong and a bad meme though.

      You should absolutely always post, though. I encourage people to post or ask things all the time, whenever I can, both broadly as a megathread thing and specifically to encourage people to infodump and such. I love when people post, and aside from just being a place for me to yap I view the trans mega as somewhat of a support structure. I think “I’m queer and I need you to stop not texting me” slaps, to be honest. You deserve to give yourself that.