To be clear, I don’t really think my mom is, but this was revealed to me by my sister yesterday.

So, I was having an argument with my sister, there is a family situation and my sister said I was repeating out mom’s version. During the argument, she said that our mom was diagnosed schizophrenic as a child, and that she was even locked up (?).

For context. I’m 25. My sister is in her 40s.

Our mom had my sister when she was 17. Our mom is the middle child of a total of 5 sisters. She was born in 1964. She had my sister to a man that I know absolutely nothing about, since she never talked about it. According to my sister, she also never knew who her father was till she was a teenager, when our mom finally agreed to let her meet him once.

When our mom was 20 she meet my dad, who was in his 40s. After that, my sister was raised by our grandparents and my mom pretty much forgot about her. I was born in 1998. All my life I was told that they were married but insisted on not having children until my dad’s son died in 1996. But turns out that in reality, they got married a few months after I was born. I know this only because I saw they marriage certificate during the divorce lawsuit.

My sister and I never lived together, since when I was learning to walk, she was starting university in the capital of our country, years later we used to visit her once or twice a year until my sister moved to the US with my nephew and niece.

When I was 8 to 10, my parents had a terrible separation. My dad cheated on my mom and she went crazy and my dad went extremely abusive and violent. I witnessed some of that with my own eyes.

Then, they hated each other so much that couldn’t even agree on divorce terms. It took them 15 YEARS to officially divorce (that’s when I saw the marriage certificate, because the lawsuit was delivered to be, because they couldn’t contact my mom).

Now, to get on topic. My mom is very obviously a narcisistic, since she has the entire criteria. She also made my life hell multiple times.

One of the things she does is having her own version of what is happening, and run with that version, no matter how different it is from reality. Like the many times I rebeled in my early 20s, was because I was doing drugs, got into a cult, got brainwashed, and was having gay sex, according to her. No, I was just having my university partying phase. The only thing she was right about it was me having gay sex, but not the way she was thinking and not with the people she was thinking, I was still closeted. And her concern wasn’t me having gay sex, was more like “hanging out with those f***ts who are maybe fucking your ass”. She always makes wild assumptions about people, mostly when she don’t like them.

During university I was severely depressed and thinking about dropping out, but I found an online university that had my career and I could continue there. I told my mom about it and she went BALLISTIC, assaulting me physically even, and I hit her back, then she restrained me, because she didn’t want me to study in an university for “bums and lowlives” according to her. This fight was so bad that I was thinking about killing myself that week, but I didn’t. However, years after I dropped out, she asked “Why didn’t you find a way to study online” then I remind her of this incident, but she says “that never happened, what are you talking about?”.

She also wanted me to graduate from law school to “become her lawyer in her divorce” agaisn’t my dad.

She also used to trashtalk my dad A LOT when I was a kid, almost daily. I was constantly told that if I didn’t succeed, I would be a bum like my dad (my dad is a successful lawyer).

She has a hard time maintaining friendships, because everybody is “stupid, inefficient, irresponsible” according to her so she gets tired of everyone. I am also irresponsible and inefficient according to her. I’m also super smart or slow according to who she is talking to, if is literally everyone else, I’m super smart and a gifted kid, if she is mad at me, I’m stupid and slow.

I got an autistic diagnostic as an adult, when I asked people on my family, they told me that they knew and told my mom to try get me in a special environment, but she refused to do that and told everyone to not dare talk about my autism.

When I told her about my diagnostic, she said “but you knew your whole life you were asperger” and I was like “NO I DIDN’T, KNOWING SOONER WOULD HAVE HELPED A LOT” She still insists that I knew my whole life.

I suffered many other forms of abuse and I’m still receiving them because I still live with her. But this has been too long already.

I don’t think she might be schizophrenic. The ironic thing is that when I had what I now know are “autistic meltdown” she said I was having a schizophrenic psychosis and I should see a therapist (funny because she is very much anti therapy). I have a paternal uncle who IS schizophrenic and has dealt with it his entire life. He is a very hard case.

But yeah, the important thing here is that I don’t think she ever had hallucinations, not that I know off, like seeing things, or hearing voices that aren’t the usual “were you calling me name?” when I wasn’t. Maybe you can give me a but more of perspective. IDK if what my sister said is true, but I hope I can get some perspective. if it is, she might have been diagnosed in the 70s or 80s and mental health wasn’t good at all at the time (my country was still doing electroshock until a few years ago).

Sorry for the long text.

TLDR: My sister said my mom is a diagnosed schizophrenic, but I don’t think my mom has the signs of being one, tho I’m telling some of my history of abuse from her to know if there is something to analyze from there.

  • dragontamer@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    One of the things she does is having her own version of what is happening, and run with that version, no matter how different it is from reality.

    This is called a delusion, and is one of the main factors towards diagnosing someone with Schizophrenia.

    Schizophrenia isn’t like in the movies. In reality, it’s closer to what you are dealing with with. The movie version is paranoid / violent Schizophrenia which is very very rare.

    Schizophrenia is mostly about believing in your own reality. It’s not always to the benefit of your Mom either. She likely believes in oddities about herself that aren’t true.


    I’m not a psychologist, but it sounds like your mom has a relatively light form of Schizophrenia (if she has one at all). Much like Autism, there are different degrees of delusions.

    Her delusions are still somewhat based on reality it seems. So it’s not as bad as other cases. But it’s still be a pain to live with.

    She has a hard time maintaining friendships, because everybody is “stupid, inefficient, irresponsible” according to her so she gets tired of everyone. I am also irresponsible and inefficient according to her. I’m also super smart or slow according to who she is talking to, if is literally everyone else, I’m super smart and a gifted kid, if she is mad at me, I’m stupid and slow.

    This is called being a jerk. It’s nothing to do with mental illness.

    My Dad is neurotypical. He does the same to me. No mental illness, just my Dad being a jackass sometimes.

    The part you need to learn to deal with is the delusions. Your Mom’s beliefs will stray from Reality, and the more stressed she gets the further from reality she will get.

    But her being a jerk is her own damn fault.