Alt text:
Thankfully for everyone involved, the Winter Olympics officials spotted me and managed to stop me before I got to the ski jump.
Explanation: https://explainxkcd.com/2964/
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I bet Randall would be just like Eddie the Eagle soaring through the air.
On a side note, that movie about him was A LOT better than I would have imagined.
Curling?
The list is more summer sports. Imagine trying to play water polo lol
I played water polo in high school during the swimming off season. Water polo is one of the most intense sports I know of. It’s like the intensity and aggression of hockey but while swimming. To give perspective by placing modesty aside for a moment, I was a very good swimmer and captain of the swim team. When I went to swim meets (competitions), many other swimmers in my district knew me and were upset they were going to lose. If my grades weren’t terrible, I could’ve easily gotten a full scholarship for swimming.
Still, when I played water polo, I was TERRIBLE. There is so much nasty aggression that happens underwater. Half of water polo is trying to drown the opponents without getting caught. Seriously! One thing to do is wrap your legs around the opponents waist then stand up. This immediately pulls them under water while you look innocent af with your hands out of the water. And there are many more tactics, such as splashing a lot so the officials cant see you foul someone. Anyway, even though I was a great swimmer, I sucked at water polo because I was too skinny and non-aggressive. The good water polo players were beasts. Forty percent is swimming athleticism. Only 10% is skill of throwing a grippy ball in a huge goal. Non-water polo players would be drowning the entire match. If we had legit normies playing water polo against an Olympic team, all we’d see is the lifeguard jumping in to rescue normies until the normie team forfeits.
I’m not kidding. Anyone else here that has played water polo, back me up here.
What if you don’t play with assholes?
I’m not sure that’s an option…
No idea. I’ve never been in that situation. It’s like asking, “What if you played hockey without checking?” It would virtually be a different sport.
Yeah I’m a pretty strong swimmer, grew up with a pool and set a record in freestyle at a high school pool when I was in 8th grade. I also grew up with twin cousin swim team guys to chase around the pool and play tag/dunk/wedgie/pants generally torture each other.
I’m also 6’3 and fairly strong, but waterpolo players are nuts. It’s a lot like lacrosse, where there are tons of dirty tricks that can be hidden from refs and really hurt. I played both sports a few times with seasoned players, never again. Especially lacrosse my elbows still hurt thinking about it 20 years ago.
The hovertext is about ski jumping, however.
RE: title text
The Agony of Defeat [15s]
You fail a ski jump and end up a part of a TV intro montage for years
Breakdancing is an event this year.
I’m just saying…
Something like this would make for an amazing Olympics-related TV series. Take 2 well known recently retired athletes, one male and one female. Say something like Roger Federer and Megan Rapinoe. Have them spend a few hours with an Olympic Athelete trying to learn their sport, and then show off what they can do for the camera.
You’d know just how coordinated and talented these athletes are, and then you’d see just how awful they were at these sports. It would really make you appreciate the skill of the Olympians.
I dunno, it would be pretty funny if I tried weight-lifting
Judo.
